


Unexpected

by feminabeata



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Bodyswap, Domestic, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Gender or Sex Swap, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-09-01 23:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 68,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20266612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feminabeata/pseuds/feminabeata
Summary: While wanting more to life, Sunggyu and Woohyun get more than they bargained for.TRIGGER WARNING!!!!A male character in this fic swaps gender and is referred to by "she/her" pronouns. This was done to emphasize how the character is outwardly perceived not just by the other characters in the story but also by the you the reader. This character, however, still thinks of himself as male. This could cause discomfort to the reader as it touches upon gender dysphoria.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a "draft fic," but of course, me being me, it got out of hand.
> 
> I had this plot in the back of my mind for years. I think that I meant to write it after "Suitors," but then I was inspired to write "Things Get Better" instead. I'm glad that I held off on it because I feel like I'm better prepared to write a story like this now. 
> 
> I'll explain more at the end-note, but for now, enjoy!

**Setting: **Modern-day Korea, but in an alternate universe where there is no Infinite. Magic exists though, if that’s any consolation, but it’s unknown to most. Woohyun and Sunggyu had no idea of it’s existence. In fact, recently it seems like Sunggyu isn’t aware that anything exists besides work and alcohol. Being that way is almost a job requirement, or at least that is the joke tossed around the office. However in every joke, there is truth, and the truth is that their company has a high turn-over rate. No one was there for long, but also no one knew how ‘long’ their careers at the company would be. So every worker put their nose to the grindstone, day in and day out, until they couldn’t anymore. Then they would be told that they were underperforming and should leave. But it is all worth it to have a major streaming company on your C.V. It is like earning a Bronze Star on the battlefield of business.

As a result, not only are his job and alcohol the only things that existed for Sunggyu, he only existed for them too.

Woohyun, on the other hand, is wishing for more in his life, and maybe for a higher existence to show him what he is missing. Too bad that he doesn’t believe in higher powers, but he also doesn’t believe in magic either…

Maybe this is a good time for me to say that Woohyun and Sunggyu aren’t very close. They are coworkers, but they work on different teams. Sunggyu is a project manager, who often has to travel to different headquarters for ‘training sessions’ and endless meetings. And Woohyun, well, Sunggyu doesn’t know what he does. Woohyun does something else. Maybe that is a good enough indicator, if any, to demonstrate their closeness. Honestly, if one of them were to quit the company, they would never see each other again.

They had been getting closer as of late. After a work gathering, when Sunggyu proposed a second round, Woohyun would always be in attendance. At times, they’d be the only two attending. When that happened, they would just go to Woohyun’s mother’s restaurant, which more often than not was in the process of closing whenever they barged in. His mother was still happy to see them, regardless. It was a comfortable place to be and there was also service. Drinking alone together, however, wasn’t always the most comfortable experience for either of them. After a few drinks too many, Woohyun would grow sullen and his eyes distant, a far cry from how he usual was, and not far from crying. That would put a damper on Sunggyu’s drunken spirits. Normally, drinking would help him forget his pain, but drinking with Woohyun often made him remember them.

Luckily, Woohyun wasn’t there with him that night. No one was as Sunggyu went on a second round by himself after a work gathering. He still went to Woohyun’s mother’s place. He still liked getting free food. But he wasn’t the only one at the restaurant late that night…

**Present-day**: There was a girl, a very pretty girl. Demure, sexy, cute, all of those positive attributes. The most positive one being the fact that she kept staring at Sunggyu, with those dark eyes. It wasn’t like they were the only two at the restaurant, even though it was closing soon. There were two men in another corner chatting, and a trio of girls at the table next to hers. Yet her eyes kept going back to his, and so Sunggyu found it hard to look away from the woman.

“Sunggyu-ssi, do you know where my son is?”

He jumped at the sudden question. Woohyun’s mom came up to his side. “No, m’am. I haven’t seen him,” he answered breathlessly as he tried to gather himself.

“He wasn’t at work?”

He shook his head. “I don’t normally see him at work. I’m sorry,” he was distracted. Out of the corner of his eye, it looked as if…no, she actually was. The pretty girl was now leaning over her table to hear his conversation with the owner, who was now mumbling to herself about her missing son, but Sunggyu couldn’t be concerned with that. He had one thing on his mind. “M’am, do you know who she is?” he asked in a low voice.

“No, but she has been sitting there all night, the poor thing. She must be waiting for her husband, but I don’t think he’s coming. Must’ve gotten caught up at work, the poor dear,” she began to walk away as she was explaining who the girl was. Sunggyu only caught half it. Husband? What would make her say that? What taken woman would spend her entire meal making eyes with another man?

“Huh? Oh!”

It became very obvious what sort of girl she was. After shifting in her seat awkwardly and scooting over to the edge, the pretty girl stood up and walked straight past Sunggyu’s table to the restroom. And Sunggyu got a good, long look at her protruding belly.

She was pregnant.

Pregnant? Sunggyu began reevaluating everything he’d ever thought about the girl, from her character to her age to situation. The more he tried to make sense of it, the more he couldn’t. Why was she staring at him? Did he know her? Did she know him? It seemed to be that way, but how?

Sunggyu concluded that he could’ve met her when he was younger, or inebriated, or both. He really hoped that he hadn’t drunkenly come across her months ago. He really, really prayed to God that…

“Can I talk to you…in private?” The girl had returned from the bathroom and stopped at his table to ask him that heart-stopping question.

“Sorry, but do I know you?” Sunggyu croaked. His throat was tight and dry. The girl nodded. And his eyes dropped from her face straight to her stomach. “Is it mine?”

“Let’s talk outside, please,” the girl begged as her hands came to rest on her stomach. Sunggyu snapped his head back up. For once, she wasn’t looking back at him. No, she was looking away. She was anxious, just as much as he was. He didn’t know what to make of that, but he met her outside anyway.

The woman led him into the alleyway that bent around the establishment. She knew where she was going, where the two of them could be alone, and how to make Sunggyu’s heart speed up with every step they took. When she finally stopped and turned around, in the dimly lit alleyway, her dark eyes bored into him again, her lips tucked into her mouth, unable to find the words.

“Well, what is it? What do you want to say to me?” Sunggyu prompted her after a full minute of silence.

The girl let go of her lips and a heavy sigh. “Hyung, I...shit, how do I even say this? I don’t even know what to say! It’s ridiculous! I can’t even believe it! I can’t believe this shit! And you…”

“Did…did you just call me ‘hyung’?” Sunggyu cut her off. He had to have misheard it.

“Yes…it’s me!” the girl exclaimed as she stepped closer to him. She put a hand over her heart. “It’s Woohyun! Nam Woohyun! I got trapped inside of this body by an evil witch, and I’m kinda freaking out. I don’t know what…”

“Ahahahaahahahahahaha!” Sunggyu’s roar of laughter interrupted her or him or whatever this woman was pretending to be. Because that’s all this really was, pretend. “I get what’s going on! I get it! I understand perfectly, Woohyunnie.” Sunggyu spoke in a cheery voice as he circled around the girl.

“You do?”

“Eung. It’s a prank,” he whispered into her ear. Sunggyu then pulled away and looked about the alleyway. “Sungyeol-ssi is in on it too, isn’t he? You two always do shit like this at the office.” He then shouted into the darkness, “Come out! Come out, you guys! I know it’s a prank!”

“No. NO!” the woman shouted and ran in front of him. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him up against the wall. And it knocked the smile right off of his face. “It’s really me! It’s Woohyun!” she insisted with a low hiss. She removed her hands from him and took a step back. The light from the street shone on her face, revealing that she was on the verge of tears. “I don’t know how to convince you that I am! Shit, it’s not like there’s a secret that only we both know. We don’t even know each other that well. But…you _have _to believe me, and you _have _to help me. I don’t…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where else to go. This is my home. And I can’t stay here, but I have nowhere else. Nowhere else! You have to believe me. _I’m _Woohyun,” A sob broke out and she softly whispered, “Believe me.”

Sunggyu hesitatingly patted her shoulder in a poor attempt to comfort the woman, I mean Woohyun. He shushed her too, hoping that the sobs would abate eventually. They didn’t, but at least Woohyun was crying more quietly now. “Why don’t you tell your mom? She’s looking for you,” Sunggyu suggested. Wouldn’t that be best? His mom would know what to do. Moms always do, in his opinion.

Woohyun shook his head. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell her,” she croaked out and then hid her face behind her hands and sobbed some more.

“Then why me?” Sunggyu didn’t mean to say this out loud, but given that his mind was overloaded with disbelief and frustration, it couldn’t manage to filter out his words at the moment. “Why tell me?”

Woohyun looked up and sniffed loudly before answering, “Because…you’ll believe anything.”

Well, that sounded like an insult, but it was true. It wasn’t that Sunggyu was gullible. He was just incredibly superstitious, a man of faith, meaning he liked to believe in things. Everyday Sunggyu read his horoscope because he believed in astrology. He feared outerspace not only because it was a vacuum of gravity and breath but also because of aliens. He also feared Area 51 because of aliens and his old college roommate who he suspected was an alien. And Sunggyu also believed in the most popular superstition of all: God.

Since Sunggyu was very open in the office about his beliefs, arguing with Sungyeol over what aliens look like and often praying before a big presentation, was it really far-fetched to think that Sunggyu would believe this too? No, it wasn’t. Sunggyu believed Woohyun.

“Let’s go back to my place.”

* * *

Once they came into Sunggyu’s apartment and he took Woohyun on a small tour, showing her what she could use, Woohyun passed out on his bed. Funny, Sunggyu didn’t recall offering her the bed, but he wasn’t about to make a pregnant woman sleep on the couch.

After getting ready for bed and saying his prayers, Sunggyu laid down on the couch and closed his eyes. Maybe tomorrow he’d wake up and all of this was just some strange, drunken dream.

But it wasn’t.

The following morning, Sunggyu was woken up by a flush of the toilet. He sprung up from the couch. In the morning haze, Sunggyu couldn’t remember who else would be in the apartment, and so his heart stopped when a woman came out of the bathroom, struggling to pull up her pants over her round belly.

“Let me tell you, that’s getting old really quick, peeing all the time,” the woman lamented after knowing that she had a captive and drowsy audience. She groaned with a final tug of the zipper, “Ugh, and getting up from the toilet is a struggle. And I’ve never wanted to be this intimate with the female body either.” As if to punctuate her point, she unconsciously scratched right at her bra-line. “Thank you for letting me crash here, hyung.”

Hyung? Right, the woman was Woohyun. Last night’s events came flooding back into Sunggyu’s mind. And this morning, Sunggyu had no doubt that this pregnant lady was Nam Woohyun, with the way she spoke to anyone with ears and how quickly she made herself at home. In fact, now she had gone into his kitchen to do who knows what. Sunggyu scrambled off the couch to go follow her. And he found Woohyun playing around with his one joy in life recently, his Nespresso. It was obvious that she never worked one her whole life, but that didn’t stop her from trying.

But Sunggyu couldn’t even be bothered to help her with the machine; he was too busy thinking about how he could just generally help her. How did Woohyun get into this situation? Why was he dragged into it? How were they gonna get out? He sat down at and slumped over his kitchen table as he tried to make heads or tails out of this whole mess.

“It’s working!” Woohyun cheered once the machine began filling up his mug. But the triumphant grin quickly fell from her face. “Wait, can I even drink this? How much caffeine is there in coffee?” After a few minutes of searching for answers on her phone, Woohyun took out another mug from the cabinet and poured half of the drink into it. When she turned around, Woohyun noticed that Sunggyu was staring at her with a dumbfounded expression. “What? It’s not my body. I need to take care of it.”

“You really are Nam Woohyun, huh?” Sunggyu muttered in a tired voice, watching Woohyun waddle up to the table. It was really an amazing sight.

“Hm,” Woohyun hummed in agreement and bent over to place the second mug in front of Sunggyu. And when she looked up, she realized that Sunggyu’s eyes weren’t on her face, not even close. “Hyung!” she gasped, standing up straight and covering her hands over her chest. “What are you looking at? I am a lady!”

“How can I not look when you’re doing that?” Sunggyu shouted back.

“I’m not used to them yet. Give me a break,” Woohyun mumbled while rearranging her shirt, making sure her precious bits were nice and covered. After doing so, something must’ve sprang into her mind because her eyes went wide, and she ran over to her phone. A little google search later, Woohyun was relieved. “No milk yet.”

Sunggyu’s hands immediately flew to his ears. Not like covering them now helped anything. “Fuck, I ‘m going crazy!”

“You’re telling me,” Woohyun retorted and sat down at the table.

Sunggyu lowered his hands and studied the other. “How are you so calm about all of this?” he asked.

Woohyun paused with the mug to her lips. Once again, they tucked back into her mouth. Words didn’t come easily to Woohyun again, or Woohyun didn’t want to say them. And words didn’t come out first from her lips, laughter did. “I’m calm? Me?” she spoke as if it was the funniest thing. “I’m googling things every ten seconds. I feel awful every time I have to touch this body. It feels like I’m doing something wrong, especially since I don’t know the first thing about this dang woman. I normally have anxiety, which is out of control now, and this whole thing is really making me hate my entire life right now…but I need to take care of this thing.” Her voice slowed down and dropped as she patted her belly. “So I have to act calm.” A deep sigh later, Woohyun gathered herself and got up from the table again. “I should make a list of things I can’t eat.”

It was almost as if Sunggyu just remembered that pregnant women have babies. There was something living inside of Nam Woohyun at this very moment. Boy, girl, alien, they both didn’t know what it was, but it was still alive. And most importantly, it wasn’t theirs. It was like someone had left a baby at their doorstep, except it wasn’t born yet and it was inside of Woohyun’s new womb.

At that moment, Kim Sunggyu went past crazy and somehow came back to being rational. He stood up suddenly from the table. “Can I help? What can I do to help you?”

“Well,” Woohyun began and shot him a hopeful look and a pleading smile. “You can let me stay here…indefinitely.”

“Alright,” Sunggyu gave in and sat back down. He could do that much, he guessed, even if he had to sleep on the couch indefinitely too. “You can stay here while you…sort things out.”

“Thank you.”

“Woohyun?”

“Hm?” Gosh, Sunggyu doubted that he’d ever get used this. It shocked him again to hear her respond to his annoying coworker’s name.

“How are you going to sort things out? How did this happen to you anyway?”

“I told you. It was a witch,” Woohyun explained in a distracted voice. She was still making a list of taboo foods and wrote down sushi with a heavy heart.

“What did you do to the witch, Woohyun?”

“I didn’t do anything!” That got Woohyun’s attention. She slammed down the pen and spun towards the man. “I was just minding my own business when…”

The story was this: Woohyun fell asleep on the subway. He hadn’t meant to, but a mixture of work stress, late nights drinking, and lack of sleep caused his eyelids to drop. He also hadn’t meant to sit in the seat reserved for pregnant women, but he accidentally did that as well. When he finally woke up, he was several stops passed his and was being prodded by a very angry and haggard pregnant woman. They soon began arguing because the woman wouldn’t accept Woohyun’s apology and didn’t believe that he’d accidentally sat there and fell asleep. She thought that he was purposefully ignoring her and feigning sleep. Woohyun felt like it was unfair, and he had enough of people not listening to him (all credit to his job for building up that frustration to this point). Soon, it broke out into a childish fight, with them calling each other names that you’d hear on the playground, and both refusing to sit in the seat and trying to force the other to sit down. It got to the point that Woohyun didn’t care if he rode the train all the way to North Korea. He was determined to win this argument and would not get off the train.

While many tried to intervene and settle the dispute, most backed off once the two would snap at the stranger to "buzz off.” One stayed, because neither Woohyun nor the woman had the heart to tell an elderly woman to fuck off. Also her intervention didn’t seem like much at the time. She patted both of them on the shoulder and asked them to “walk a mile in each other’s shoes,” or something stereotypical like that. The old woman got off the train soon after, waving goodbye to the two who soon went back to insulting each other.

Unlike Woohyun, the pregnant woman refused to miss her stop, but she made sure to give Woohyun one last, heartfelt gesture before leaving. And he flicked her off right back, with both hands.

He then quickly got off the train before the doors closed because he didn’t want to stay behind with the bystanders to his fight. When he finally got home an hour later, Woohyun found a strange mark inked onto his shoulder where the old woman had touched him. Woohyun described it to Sunggyu as a charm or talisman. No matter how hard he scrubbed, it wouldn’t wash away. However, he was too tired to care and just went to bed.

And then he woke up a woman. Woohyun managed to grab the cellphone and wallet before he was seen as she. As a she, Woohyun spent the rest of the day, riding the subway, looking for the old woman. After getting stir-crazy for sitting on a train for hours, Woohyun waited outside of the company, seeing if his body would come out of its doors. Of course it didn’t. Woohyun didn’t know who this body belonged to. How was the woman supposed to know who he was?

And then Woohyun went to the restaurant, working up her courage to talk to ‘mom’ but couldn’t do it. This whole thing was embarrassing, unbelievable, and burdensome. What’s worse than a son telling his mother that he accidentally ‘knocked up’ a girl? A son coming home with a nearly grown baby in his own belly with little to no explanation for how it got there.

His mother had a hard enough time keeping the restaurant afloat. Woohyun couldn’t add this to her list of responsibilities.

Then Sunggyu came in, and Sunggyu helped. And Sunggyu was sitting with Woohyun now at the kitchen table, trying to make sense of this.

“How old do you think she is? You look young,” Sunggyu asked once the story was over. He was trying to grab onto any clue that they could.

Woohyun shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. I’m an adult, at least. I _might _be married, but I’m not sure.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because of this,” Woohyun replied with a pat on her belly. “I _hope _she is. It would be hard to do this alone. I know this now. I feel pain in places that I didn’t even think _could _hurt…and places that I didn’t have before. And the baby, it _moves_!” Both of their eyes dropped to her belly, watching it closely for a minute. Nothing happened. “It’s shy all the sudden. You must be scaring it, hyung.”

“Whatever,” Sunggyu dismissed and instead asked. “How far along are you anyway?” Woohyun just replied with a blank stare. “Right you wouldn’t know. We should take you to a doctor.”

She scoffed. “How? I don’t even know her name. How can we even fill out the paperwork?”

Sunggyu thought it over for a moment and then winced at who his mind came up with. “I _might _know someone.”

* * *

Yoon Bora was an old friend of Sunggyu’s. ‘Old’ as in Sunggyu met her when they were younger and they didn’t really talk anymore. And ‘friend’ as in, well, a friend who turned into a girlfriend who turned back into a friend who was now more of an acquaintance. What had been the proverbial ‘nail’ in the coffin of their relationship was their occupations. All of Sunggyu’s jobs had consumed his life, making him travel for weeks on end. And Bora would spend some months working nights at the hospital. While their relationship failed, they both became successful in their respective fields. Sunggyu was working at an elite company, and Bora owned an OBGYN clinic, which he was taking Woohyun to right now.

On their way over, they came up with a story. It was a ridiculous one, but it was more believable than the truth. Woohyun wouldn’t be able to fill out any paperwork because she was a North Korean fugitive named Ran Woong, who Sunggyu met while in China for business. That was all that they could agree on. They couldn’t even settle on who the father of the child should be, but Bora did that for them.

“Sunggyu, you dog!” the doctor reprimanded him. “This woman already suffered the tyranny of one dictator. Why did you have to go and trap her in a marriage with you?”

“We aren’t married!” he hissed lowly so that Woohyun (who was changing from oversized clothes that she borrowed from Sunggyu into a hospital gown) wouldn’t hear.

“What?! What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Sunggyu backtracked. “I mean not yet. It’s hard…There’s pushback from my family.” 

“Well, duh,” Bora retorted. She then snorted and put her hand to her forehead. “Your parents probably thought you’d marry well. Heck, _you_thought you’d marry well. But then you go and knock up this country bumpkin. I mean, sure she’s very pretty. But…a North Korean? Really, Sunggyu?”

“She needs me,” was all he could argue.

Bora seemed to have a retort on her lips but then Woohyun/Woong burst out into the hallway in the dressing gown cheerfully announcing that she was ready. And the appointment began.

While Woohyun was speaking with a perfect Seoul accent (which she claimed to have practiced religiously), her awkward behavior and wonderment at the ultrasound appeared to convince Bora that she was indeed from North Korea.

“Ran Woong-ssi, do you see this?” Bora asked as she pointed to the screen.

“That blob, yeah. What is it?” Woohyun asked excitedly.

“That’s your daughter, and she’s going to see you guys in three months.”

* * *

After deducing that Woong was in her third trimester, Bora came up with a plan for them and told them what to expect from this point until the delivery date. It was overwhelming to say the least. And they were incredibly ill-prepared for a child that far along. Then again, did they need to be prepared for one?

Sunggyu came home from the appointment and had a mental breakdown on his bed (followed by a nap). Woohyun, on the other hand, couldn’t rest so easily. She messaged her mom, lying that she had to make a last minute trip to headquarters for work and didn’t know how long she’d be kept in L.A. She then began reading through everything that Bora had given her.

Woohyun liked Bora. She was completely in the dark about Bora and Sunggyu’s past, but the doctor was nice and made fun of Sunggyu. What was there not to like?

But about her current situation, there wasn’t much to like. Woohyun’s general anxiety had morphed into something close to gender dysphoria. Inside, Woohyun was a man. There was nothing that could change that, but could it be hidden? How well was Woohyun presenting to the world as a female? If someone saw her on the streets, would they know? Would they know at a glance? And most of all, Woohyun wanted to be a man again. She missed it. She missed the way her old body felt. This new one had more weight, of course, but it was distributed oddly all over his body. Not only was the weight of her belly straining her back, but her chest as well. _Are all boobs like this or just mine? _Woohyun thought to herself. And bras suck. She fiddled with the straps of her bra again. She could, of course, take it off, but didn’t want to. She hadn’t since the switch. Woohyun was afraid that she’d seem less like a woman without one on.

_But I’m a man! I need to get my body back! Now! I can’t do this anymore! _ Woohyun’s mind went into a panic. Breathing was hard. The weight was heavier. Everything seemed to be closing in.

Then, an odd sensation. The baby rolled about in her belly. Woohyun took in a deep breath and then spoke to her in a hushed voice, “Sh, settle down, little girl.” While having quasi-gender dysphoria sucked, this in itself was incredible. Incredible as in, yes, unbelievable but also indescribable, amazing, and kinda really creepy if she thought about it too much. There was another life growing inside of her right now, and she could feel. A smile spread across Woohyun’s face. It oddly made Woohyun feel proud. She was protecting this child the best she could, given the circumstances. And Woohyun was doing a pretty good job of it. “I’ll take good care of you…but first daddy needs to take care of himself.” She got up from the couch with a loud groan. “I need to by some more underwear. I’ve been wearing the same ones for far too long.”

While going lady underwear shopping wasn’t going to do much for her dysphoria, it was another distraction. She just needed to keep distracting herself and do her best, until she could find a solution for this mess. It could be too easy for Woohyun to have a mental breakdown right not, but she couldn’t afford it. She didn’t want the baby to deteriorate along with herself.

* * *

“Hyung, help!”

Sunggyu had woken up from his nap to find Woohyun gone. And he’d be lying if he said that his heart didn’t fall a bit when Woohyun came back half an hour later, still a woman and with a bag full of bras and panties. How long was she planning on staying like this? And also, she bought new underwear but not new clothes? Was she just going to wear all of Sunggyu’s lounge-wear from now on? What was he going to wear then?

The reality of having a new roommate was settling in and the frustration was building up.

But the entire situation wasn’t frustrating though. In fact, Sunggyu found it more pitiful than anything, especially right now. Woohyun was taking a shower but soon came out of the bathroom with a bathrobe on, her hands in her hair, and a deep pout on her face. “Hyung, help. It’s stuck! I can’t get the hair-tie out!”

Sunggyu had Woohyun sit on the chair as he struggled to find the hair-tie and extract it from the tangled strands. It was almost like diffusing a bomb, honestly. Woohyun had accidentally begun washing her hair when she remembered the tie. So it was a huge mess of hair and suds, and Woohyun told him specifically not to cut it or damage the hair. The last thing that this body needed was a bald spot or a chunk of hair missing.

Sunggyu also couldn’t pull too hard because every time he did, Woohyun would yelp, “Owie! That hurts!”

“Heh, owie? Are you sure that you were a man once?” Sunggyu mocked the other after Woohyun whimpered one too many times. But his chuckles were stopped when Woohyun sent an elbow into his gut. “A-ah! That hurt!” Sunggyu gasped.

“Don’t test me.” Sunggyu opened his eyes. Woohyun had thrown her head back and was looking up at him with those dark eyes. “You don’t know what this is like,” Woohyun warned. Sunggyu’s gaze dropped lower than her face. Woohyun draped a blanket over her lap. She pulled it up higher, fidgeting, when she noticed that he was looking.

Sunggyu gently moved her head back down and went back to work diffusing the hair-tie bomb. “Right, I should be more sensitive,” he admitted.

“Hm, because _I’m _sensitive,” Woohyun spoke cutely and nodded, causing Sunggyu to lose the hair-tie again.

“I know, you were like that before,” Sunggyu muttered underneath his breath, but Woohyun still heard it. She turned around and glared him, daring him to elaborate. “I’m sorry. Hyung is sorry. I’ll shut up now,” Sunggyu promised and guided her back into position. A sigh fell from his lips as he basically had to start from square one, which was finding the hair-tie in this mess.

As he was carding through her hair, Woohyun hummed and asked, “This feels kind of nice. Can you massage my scalp too?”

Sunggyu scoffed. “Like this?” he asked and just rubbed her head haphazardly.

“Yeah!” And Woohyun liked it. “Again!” And Sunggyu liked to mess around, and mess up hair apparently. He kept playing around with it until the hair-tie magically fell out and Woohyun’s hair was a rat’s nest. And so when Woohyun finished her shower, they worked on detangling the mess. Well, mostly Sunggyu did. Woohyun claimed that she was too tired, which might’ve been true because she dozed off a few times as Sunggyu was brushing. And he had to gently shake her awake when he was done.

“Thanks, hyung,” Woohyun mumbled while she yawned, rubbing her eyes.

“No problem,” Sunggyu replied softly and watched Woohyun struggle to sit up again. Pitiful but also really…Sunggyu cleared his throat and tried to clear those thoughts out of his head. He went to help her. “You’re gonna have to learn to take better care of yourself.”

“I’m trying, _hyung_,” she whined as she spoke his name. “I’m doing my best. Don’t be mean.”

“I’m not. I’m not being mean,” Sunggyu insisted and followed her to his bedroom. “I just…”

Woohyun spun around. “Just what?”

“N-nothing.” Sunggyu really needed to be careful. Not only was Woohyun sensitive, but this whole situation was. So instead he changed the subject, “You know, it’s weird to hear you call me ‘hyung.’”

“Why? It never bothered you before,” Woohyun replied in a distracted voice. She was in Sunggyu’s dressers, looking for more clothes to wear, which meant…Sunggyu turned around when Woohyun started tugging her shirt up.

“You weren’t a woman before,” Sunggyu was exasperated.

“Does it matter? I’m still a man,” she retorted.

“Well, yeah on the inside, but on the outside you don’t look like it,” he reminded her. “And it’d be weird if you called me ‘hyung’ in public. You should start calling me ‘oppa’ now.”

“Pass,” Woohyun rejected it without a moment’s thought. She then tapped on his shoulder, getting Sunggyu to turn around. “Besides, if we’re going off your argument, who’s to say that this body isn’t older than yours? We don’t know! It could be! It’s safer to assume that I’m older. You can call me ‘noona,’ Sunggyu,” Woohyun combatted, talking to him in banmal. “You don’t like that, _Sunggyu_?”

“No,” Sunggyu admitted defeat and gave a small shake of his head. “Let’s just stick with the names we came up with, Ran Woong-ssi.”

“Call, Kim Sunggyu-ssi.” And that was that. And that was the last Sunggyu saw of his bedroom for the night. Woohyun announced that she wanted to go to bed and pushed him out of the door. Within minutes, Sunggyu heard her loudly snoring her way into dreamland. He wished that he could go to bed that easily, but he couldn’t.

Somehow this day had left him feeling weirder than the last had. Last night, he only had to deal with the weirdness of pregnant woman claiming to be his male coworker. Today, he had to deal with the uncomfortable weirdness of a new roommate, the stressful weirdness of becoming an expecting father (even though it was a lie), and the weirdest weirdness of all: seeing Woohyun in the woman and also seeing another person entirely. The last part could be chalked up to the fact that he didn’t know Woohyun very well to begin with, but it could also be the fact that she pretended to be his baby mama for a few hours during the appointment.

Either way, this weirdness was taking a toll on his mind, body, and heart. So while he felt like he’d never be able to sleep again, with these thoughts keeping him up, Sunggyu fell asleep within the hour.

* * *

The next morning, Sunggyu was the one to wake up the other by sneaking into his own bedroom to change for work. “Why don’t you call in sick? I did yesterday,” Sunggyu suggested after they acknowledged each other’s existence appropriately (meaning Sunggyu apologized profusely for waking her up and Woohyun just grunted).

“I don’t really sound like myself right now,” Woohyun replied in a gruff but still obviously feminine voice.

Sunggyu rolled his eyes. “Send an email then.”

“Maybe,” she said so that the matter would be dropped. But truth be told, Woohyun didn’t want to tell the company that she wouldn’t be in today. No, she was curious to see how people would respond after she had missed three days. So far, no one had reached out to her. After today, would someone? How long would it be until the higher-ups start getting concerned? How valuable was Nam Woohyun to the company or was he replaceable just like everyone else?

Well, to Lee Sungyeol, he wasn’t replaceable. Sungyeol messaged him later that afternoon to say how much he missed him and how boring work was without someone to talk to. Messages from a few other coworkers began to trickle in, increasingly voicing their concern. Except Sungyeol, he kept sending Woohyun updates from the office, the most recent gossip and what was in the kitchen that day. You know, the important things.

Woohyun replied to none of these. She was busy with her new jobs: finding her body and getting ready for a potential baby. On top of that, she had side jobs: feeding herself and Sunggyu, cleaning up around the apartment (sometimes), and raiding his closet for maternity clothes. One day, she might actually go out and buy an outfit or two, but she hadn’t counted on the underwear costing that much and she still needed to afford all of the things for the potential baby. Woohyun finally realized what people have been saying all of these years: it’s truly expensive to be a woman. It wasn’t make-up or brand-name fashion burned a hole through Woohyun’s wallet; it was simply existing…and existing along with an alien parasite (Sunggyu really needed to stop jokingly calling the baby that because now Woohyun was unconsciously thinking that all of the time).

So given that Woohyun didn’t answer emails from his coworkers, bosses, and his bosses’ bosses, she was fired two weeks after the switch.

“I don’t get it. Why didn’t you say that you were sick?” Sunggyu asked. He was incredulous when he came home and Woohyun told him the ‘good’ news.

“Because…I wanted to get fired,” Woohyun finally confessed to herself and Sunggyu at the same time. She didn’t ghost on the company out of curiosity; she was purposefully sabotaging herself, just to see if what she suspected was true along: Nam Woohyun was replaceable. To the company, Nam Woohyun wasn’t a person but just a worker. It took them only two weeks to for them to move onto the next eager worker bee.

“Huh, what? Why the Hell would you purposefully get yourself fired?” Sunggyu didn’t understand. He was still a part of the ‘hive mind.’

“I hated it there, hyung. Fuck, I hated my life too,” Woohyun explained. “I wasn’t happy. I know it’s an elite company, and everyone would kill to work there. But working there was killing me.” That was entirely true. Woohyun felt dead ever since the end of last year. She had given up her life for the company. And after the switch, after being away from the ‘hive,’ Woohyun felt alive again. She was finally living again for herself, and for someone else too. While the company didn’t need Woohyun, someone else did, someone small and fragile who needed a lot of protecting. The baby needed her too. “It may be an elite company, but I can do better than it, hyung,” she concluded.

“B-but,” Sunggyu stammered. It was obvious that he was still confused. It was hard for him to see things from Woohyun’s perspective sometimes, but he’d eventually get there. Sunggyu’s mind had a tendency to get ‘set’ on things and thinking that only one way was the ‘right’ way. And so he was struggling to see how this was a good thing. “What will you do now?”

“Well, I kinda got my hands full already,” Woohyun said, gesturing down at her stomach that had grown in the last few weeks. “Things will be okay, hyung.”

“They’ll be okay, yeah,” Sunggyu repeated, but Woohyun could tell that he was still working things out in his head, which was why he asked, “Are you sure that you’re okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” she replied with a warm smile.

“Yeah, you’ll be fine. We’ll work things out. Don’t worry,” Sunggyu said, while he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Woohyun did the same because even though Sunggyu was doing this to ‘comfort’ her, he was truly the one was needed to be comforted. He was freaking out. Woohyun could feel his heart racing against her skin. “If you need money, I can give you some. Don’t be afraid to ask, okay? We’ll get through this together.” His grip tightened.

Woohyun’s smile broadened. “Okay, hyung. Do you want to start by buying us dinner? I didn’t make us any.”

Sunggyu let go and pulled away, while giving the other a questionable stare. But he relented nonetheless, “Fine. Get whatever you want, but nothing too spicy, okay? You’re going to set the baby on fire one day.” He then left to go change.

“Don’t blame the baby, hyung. You’re the one that can’t handle spicy food!” Woohyun shouted after him.

“Just don’t do it, okay?”

“Okay!”

* * *

The next two weeks passed happily, or at least it did for Woohyun who was learning what it was like to be happy again and not just content. She laughed more than she had in a year. She was having more meaningful conversations, even if it was just talking about the baby’s progress with Dr. Bora or discussing music with Sunggyu. She wished that she could talk with her mother again, and she occasionally would by going to the restaurant for lunch. But they would only talk about life in general detail, and there wasn’t much that Ran Woong could say about North Korea. So the conversation would be kept short, kept safe. But at least Woohyun could show her the baby. Her mother would’ve never guessed that her hand touched her son’s belly, waiting for her granddaughter to kick. Woohyun would always be on the verge of telling her, but then swallowed her words and asked for more service instead, which she always got. Some things never changed.

And of course, there was the ongoing search for Woohyun’s real body. It wasn’t a constant search. It had become a like a cold case file that Woohyun would return to when she got bored. But it really was like what all detectives say: after the first 48 hours, the body is nearly impossible to find. The case of the missing body would most likely remain unsolved.

And was Woohyun okay with that?

Tonight she was because she finally managed to talk Sunggyu into giving her swollen feet a massage. She had to wash them in front of his face, but he finally deemed her feet touchable and weirdly enough was still massaging them after 5 minutes. Woohyun titled her head as she stared at him. Sunggyu was absentmindedly rubbing her feet while he was watching television. It was confusing her. Sunggyu wasn’t normally this doting or caring or even nice. So what was going on? Was it really for Woohyun? Or was it just for the body? They were still separate things for Woohyun, but were they for Sunggyu? Woohyun shook her head and tried to watch television. It didn’t matter. Woohyun felt cared for, and that’s all he wanted right now. And that’s all that should matter.

In any case, Woohyun was suddenly very grateful for running into Sunggyu that night, which was why she said, “You’ll make a good husband one day.”

“Shut up,” the way he said that made Woohyun look back at him. Sunggyu was flattered and slightly embarrassed if the reddening of his ears were proof of anything. That was interesting. That was very interesting and almost scary, honestly. Why would Sunggyu react like that if he didn’t…“My turn!” Sunggyu announced and placed his feet in Woohyun’s own lap, effectively distracting her.

“I take back what I said,” Woohyun retorted and pushed the feet off of her lap. “Get those away from me!’ she retched. Sunggyu had said something in reply but Woohyun had missed it. The baby decided to interject itself into the conversation.

“Oh, what is it?” Sunggyu blubbered, finally noticing Woohyun’s reaction.

“The baby, she’s moving again,” she stated. She then took his hand and brought it to where the baby was wriggling around. “Feel it.”

“Woah,” Sunggyu muttered lowly in amazement. He moved closer and leaned into her, placing his other hand on the stomach too. “Do it again.”

“I can’t do it,” Woohyun spoke with a laugh and gave him a very slight shove.

“I’m not talking to you,” Sunggyu snapped back. He then rest completely against Woohyun and leaned down to talk to the little girl in a loud whisper, “Do it again, baby! Go! Jump! Kick your mom again!”

“Dad,” Woohyun reminded him.

“Sorry, habit,” Sunggyu apologized to Woohyun and then whisper-shouted to the baby again, “Kick daddy, baby! Kick him right in the nuts!” Woohyun laughed at that, with her whole heart. Sunggyu often made mistakes; everyone did. But he often overcompensated, especially when it came to misgendering Woohyun. It often brought a smile to Woohyun’s face, as it did now. Sunggyu then looked up at her to share in the smiles too.

“Do you think we should name her, hyung?” Woohyun suggested.

Sunggyu removed his hands and pulled himself up, but he was still leaning against her. His head was nearly at her shoulder but not quite there, leaving some space for the Holy Ghost (Woohyun supposed). While he was talking to her, his eyes were still on the baby, waiting for her to wriggle again, “She might already have a name, Woohyun.”

“Maybe,” Woohyun allowed that much but she countered with, “But she’s mine now. She needs a new name.” Her hands laid on the belly protectively, and Sunggyu laughed as he took her hands away. He probably thought that Woohyun was joking.

“We need to call her something,” she brought up.

Woohyun could feel the other nod against her neck. “She jumps around a lot,” Sunggyu observed. “What about…Tokki?”

“Nuh uh, I don’t like it,” Woohyun rejected and shook her head. “It’s dumb. It’s a dumb name.”

“You already have one in mind, don’t you?” Sunggyu spoke with a scoff. There were times that Sunggyu could see as easily through her as she could with him. If they weren’t careful, it’d be easy for them to develop a ‘hive mind’ too. “Stop with the pretenses. You never wanted my opinion anyway. What did you name her?”

“Bobae,” Woohyun revealed. She grinned warmly down at the baby. “She’s a little treasure, isn’t she?”

Sunggyu’s hair brushed against her neck again. “She really is,” he agreed. His hand went to her stomach again, rubbing it affectionately. And it was more than Woohyun could bear.

“Hyung?”

“Hm?” Sunggyu raised his head, bringing their faces closer together, only centimeters apart.

“Get off me. Bobae needs to pee.”

“Yah, are you going to start blaming her for everything now?” Sunggyu yelled at her as she struggled to get up and make her way to the bathroom.

“You would too,” Woohyun spat back. She then turned around at the bathroom’s threshold and argued, “Besides there’s two of us and one bladder, and she’s pressing against it…”

“I get it. I get it. Just go!”

* * *

While Woohyun was happier, and Sunggyu could easily see that, Sunggyu himself was struggling at work. He was tired, distracted, and worst of all, his heart wasn’t in it anymore. And today, the warning finally came. He was underperforming. He needed to pick up the slack. He needed to be like he was before the switch, but much like Woohyun, he was becoming a different person too. His priorities were shifting. He’d rather be at home than work. There were more things he’d rather discuss than a poorly performing series or algorithms. Heck, even talking about dilations and mucus plugs with Bora was more ‘fun’ than giving the same presentation to different groups. And all of that didn’t bode well for his future in the company.

So he did what he hadn’t done in over a month, he encouraged his colleagues to go on a second round with him and then a third. It didn’t take as much as it normally did to get him drunk, so he had the opportunity to sober up and get drunk again. He didn’t know if that made the night more enjoyable, but he went home in the wee hours of the morning with a smile on his face.

That was until he saw Woohyun waiting for him with the lights on and sitting on the couch. She couldn’t sleep for worrying. She had called Sunggyu multiple times in the night, and Sunggyu had just now realized that his phone was on silent. Woohyun was having a hard time finding any patience for this man, but given that it was two in the morning, she had patience for no one.

“Just come home after one round! You can go out, but come home at a reasonable time. There’s just a lot to do, and I can’t keep up with it all. The baby is coming in two months. Two! I’m not ready for it. Are you?” she barely gave Sunggyu any time to answer that question and continued, “And my body! I’m still trying to find it, but it could literally be anywhere in the world right now.”

“We’ll find it. It couldn’t have gone far,” Sunggyu finally managed to interject. Woohyun’s nagging sobered him up very quickly.

Woohyun scoffed. “How do you know? Have you seen it?”

“No,” Sunggyu yielded that much. “But you’re still here, and you have Bobae. She won’t abandon her baby! She’s probably looking for you too.”

Woohyun seemed to take that as a threat. She stepped and covered her stomach. “Well, I’m just saying that if she’s keeping my body, I’m keeping Bobae.”

“Fair enough,” Sunggyu was now gathering the sense of mind that it wasn’t smart to argue with an exhausted pregnant woman in her third trimester.

“No it’s not fair! Not fair at all!” she even found fault in Sunggyu’s yielding. There was no way for Sunggyu to come out on top from this. “You came home drunk!”

“I’m not…”

“She’s probably using my body to drink, and I can’t!” Woohyun cut him off. “I used to drink to get rid of stress. But I’m _pregnant_! I’m a pregnant man! I’m stressed! I’m really stressed! How am I supposed to get rid of my stress now? It just keeps piling up. Piling up higher and higher and higher! And I’m just left alone all day…”

“You’re not alone. You have Bobae,” that was the absolutely wrong thing to say and the burning glare from Woohyun’s dark eyes proved that.

“Hyung,” she started but she held back, gritting her teeth, “Just come home earlier. Please.”

“Okay,” Sunggyu quickly agreed, not just to end the argument but mostly out of shock. He hadn’t been expected at home ever since he was a high school student, and the thought that someone wanted him home too, it warmed his heart. He didn’t know how badly he wanted to hear those words until Woohyun said them, and now Sunggyu felt as if he’d gotten a hefty bonus in life for his efforts. He put on a gentle smile and approached her. “Let’s get rid of some of that stress, hm? What do you want to do?”

Woohyun just wanted to talk, well, complain, but that was still all she wanted. Sunggyu also talked her into playing one round of a shooting game to take out her aggression, which worked. But after ten minutes of gameplay and five minutes of talking, Woohyun fell asleep while leaning against Sunggyu. He moved, making them both more comfortable, with her head tucked into his neck and his arm around her, hand rubbing circles onto her arched back.

Sunggyu had changed, very much so in this past month. His priorities were shifting. He was wanting things that he claimed he didn’t want until he was older. He was finding that being at home was more fulfilling than being in the office. And he felt more needed in one place over the other.

Sunggyu didn’t know if Woohyun felt this way too, but at times, he hoped that Woohyun would never switch back.

* * *

Major changes were happening in the apartment too. After spending a month in this month and with two months until delivery, Woohyun deemed it was time to start buying more things for Bobae. And after she bought one thing, she began to buy them all, even clothes for a child older than a newborn. Woohyun was nesting and she was building her nest in Sunggyu’s bedroom. Well, not physically building though. The crib and diaper-changing table were still in their boxes, unassembled and leaning against the walls. In other words, Woohyun was making a huge mess of the apartment and very little progress.

And Woohyun started to notice other changes in the apartment that she hadn’t brought about. Sunggyu was coming home earlier. Most of the time, when he came home, he’d find Woohyun and talk about their days. But he didn’t do that today. He came in, said ‘hello,’ and then disappeared into the bedroom. Woohyun tried not to think much of it and continued reading her book. A half an hour passed and Sunggyu still hadn’t come out, so Woohyun yelled through the door, saying that she was going to buy take-out with his credit card. Sunggyu still didn’t come out and instead yelled his order back at her. After ordering dinner, Woohyun was unable to stand it anymore and went into the bedroom.

Sunggyu was almost down building the crib. Woohyun never asked him to do it. She never even insinuated that he should. After all, the baby seemed more like her responsibility. She’d gotten herself into this mess, and so she had to deal with it. However, from the very start, Woohyun hadn’t been dealing with it alone. Sunggyu had been helping her, and now Woohyun was realizing how far that help would go.

“Hyung, are you going to raise this baby with me?”

They had never talked about it. Woohyun had only asked Sunggyu to let him live at the apartment indefinitely. She had never talked about raising the child with Sunggyu. Yes, to Bora, they pretended that they would. Heck, on their most recent visit, they told the doctor that they’d eloped so that Bora would stop yelling at Sunggyu. But that was all pretend. That was a lie, wasn’t it?

“Of course, I will,” Sunggyu said so matter-of-factly. He was more focused on screwing in the railing than talking to Woohyun. “I wouldn’t trust you to do it alone. You’d spoil her too much. And you can barely take care of yourself now. What is post-partum Woong-ssi going to be like?”

Woong-ssi? Was he just playing his role? “You don’t have to, you know?” Woohyun tried to give him an out. “I can find a place. I…I could tell my mom and move back in with her. Then…”

“Woohyun, I want to do this,” Sunggyu cut her off. He put down the tools and stood up. He was giving her his full attention. His eyes fixed on hers, to assure her. “I want to help you. You don’t deserve to go through this alone.”

“I get that you want to help, but you really don’t have to do this. Aren’t you scared?”

“Yes,” Sunggyu admitted with a sheepish smile. “But I’m not the one about to give birth.”

Woohyun pursed her lips as she thought that over. “So you pity me then,” she countered. “You pity me because I’m about to be a single dad.”

“Well, yeah but…” Sunggyu paused to find the right words. It took a long time for them to come, mostly because he was holding the right words back. He eventually said ‘fuck it’ to himself and let them out: “I want this. I want to do this. I like having a life outside of work for once. I like having somewhat of a normal life. I mean, a lot of my friends already have this…”

“A man trapped inside of a woman’s body?” Woohyun asked incredulously.

“No…a family,” Sunggyu replied with a laugh. He then picked up the tools again and knelt back down to tighten the final screws. “I guess I just want to know what it feels like, for however long this lasts.”

Woohyun sighed and moved to sit down next to him. “Look, I get what you’re saying,” she started. “I felt the same way at my job. It’s nice to live for something more and for someone else…but hyung, what if this lasts forever?” Woohyun didn’t like that she sounded like she was trying to talk Sunggyu out of this, especially when she could really use the help, but she needed to know his intentions.

And Sunggyu wouldn’t even spare her a glance. “It won’t.”

“But what if it does, for the sake of arguing?”

Now he turned towards her. “I hadn’t thought about it, and there’s a lot to consider,” he began. “It’s hard to say what the future holds. I mean, down the line, even if you stay as Ran Woong, we could find other people that we want to be with more than each other. You might find someone richer who could provide better for you and make you happier. And I might find someone less stubborn. Not that I don’t like you, but if we’re honest, we met each other by accident that night. And I really still don’t know why you told me.” As he went on with his rant, Sunggyu was unable to look her in the eye, even though he’d tried to lighten it up with jokes and was talking at lightspeed. When he said this, however, he made sure to look Woohyun right in the eye: “But as long as you’re here, I’ll protect you.”

Woohyun was touched, deeply. She couldn’t hold back anymore. She pressed a kiss onto Sunggyu’s cheek and afterwards whispered against it, close to his ear, “Thank you.”

Sunggyu shuddered and let out a deep, shaky exhale, acting like Woohyun had done more than give him a simple peck on the cheek. But this moment had been a long time coming. The anticipation, the tension had built up and finally snapped, letting the two finally relax and give into the moment.

Sunggyu slowly turned his head towards her, careful not to knock into her. And they leaned in together into a kiss. Lips tenderly touching, still treating this delicately as if this attraction was newly born and fragile rather than what it was. But shortly, their touches became more confident and kisses more urgent, touching not only the other’s lips but wherever else they found lovely and deserving. They went down, down, until they were laying on the floor, Sunggyu slightly hovering above her, still being careful in their passionate embrace.

Then the doorbell rang.

Sunggyu pulled away. “That must be dinner,” he stated, looking towards the door.

“No.”

Sunggyu snorted and got up. “What do you mean ‘no’?” he teased and went for the door.

Woohyun didn’t know what she meant by ‘no’ either. A part of her must’ve been worried that they’d never get back to that point again. Why was that? After working and living with him, Woohyun knew how Sunggyu’s mind worked. He settled on things. He had a hard time seeing other options. And he had a tendency to sweep complicated things under the rug rather than to confront them.

What was more complicated than kissing your very pregnant man of a roommate? Not much.

Sunggyu was already ‘sweeping,’ brushing over every mention of the crib, covering his words with mouthfuls of food until they were indecipherable, and hiding his eyes whenever Woohyun tried to meet them. So after dinner, Woohyun swept herself away into the shower, taking her sweet time in the bathroom and thinking of what to do next. And Woohyun had come to the decision, as she often had recently, that no thinking was best. Thinking made simple feelings complicated, and right now, Woohyun wanted to simply feel cared for.

“Alright, dishes are done,” Sunggyu announced when she came out of the bathroom. Woohyun rolled her eyes and scoffed. There wasn’t much for him to do but to throw the trash away. Woohyun thanked him anyway for it. Then Sunggyu asked. “Are you going to bed?”

Woohyun nodded. “Yeah, let’s go to bed.”

“Alright, well, good night,” Sunggyu wished her and awkwardly waved at her with both hands. That wave slowed to a halt when he noticed that Woohyun wasn’t moving. It made her laugh, especially since what she implied went straight over his head.

Woohyun walked up to him and took his hand. “Hyung,” she said softly with a tug of his hand. “Let’s go.” With that, Woohyun lead him into the bedroom.

They just slept that night. There was nothing inherently romantic about it. Woohyun snored and took up a lot of space. And Sunggyu had been used to having the whole bed to himself. The only way that these two could get comfortable was if their limbs overlapped. But wasn’t that the whole point? To sleep while touching each other, to know that even in the dead darkness of the night they are not alone? And it was comforting. They had the best sleep since the switch, both of them finally feeling at ease.

Woohyun fell asleep with a smile on her face. Yes, this was what happiness felt like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL, I know that the pronouns are all over the place here, but I wanted to show that, well, Woohyun is trapped in a woman's body. It also made it easier to write without all of the "he."
> 
> Second, you might be asking yourself, "Kate, how in the WORLD did you think of this story?" Well, when I thought of this story, I learned that mpreg was a thing. And MAN how people explain (or don't explain) how men can suddenly have babies just amazed me! And this was WAY before I learned about ABO, so you could imagine how much my mind melted after that (like I said before, this is an old fic idea and came before Nu ABO). So I asked myself, "Kate, if you were to write mpreg, how would you do it?" And I thought "AHA! Bodyswap one of them with a pregnant woman!" And that way I knocked out two fic tropes with one story-stone.
> 
> Third, you might be now asking, "Okay, fair enough. But why Woohyun?" Because at the time when I came up with this idea, the mpreg I saw involved Sunggyu getting pregnant, so I tried to be cool and innovative and made it Woohyun. Am I cool yet??   
THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHO IS TOP OR BOTTOM! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF! I DON'T WRITE SMUT! THIS IS JUST ABOUT NAM WOOHYUN BEING TRAPPED INSIDE A PREGNANT LADY'S BODY! THAT'S IT!  
So yeah, I'm not cool at all.
> 
> Fourth, "Why now, Kate?" Because I think I can better express the emotions that this story has and realize the extent of them. And also I think I have the ability now to change Woohyun's gender but still make the character sound like him. Those things held me back from writing it earlier.
> 
> Fifth and lastly, they work at Netflix. I don't know why I avoided writing that word for this whole chapter! My bff currently works there, and, well, yeah you get a lot of free stuff and other perks. but everything comes at a price.
> 
> Sorry for the super long note! Thank you for reading! You're the best!!! I love you!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I posted the last chapter, someone critiqued be appropriately about my use of pronouns. I added tags and warnings to this story, but I also wanted to address them more in depth. The full reply to the comment is in this tweet: https://twitter.com/puellabona89/status/1163580408799420416
> 
> Here is a summary of why I did what I did with the pronouns, in case you were curious:  
\---It made it easier to write. In slash fics it’s often hard to clarify who is doing what since they are both males. You also don’t want to keep writing down their names over and over again because it sounds clunky. This is often why you read fics that refer to Sunggyu as “the brunette” and Woohyun as “the raven-haired one,” which you’ve rarely seen me do because I don’t add a lot of physical descriptions of the characters. For the most part, I want YOU to imagine them any way that you want to, with the exception of this case which brings me to my next point.  
\---I did this to control your perception of Woohyun. I used “she/her” pronouns to emphasize how he is outwardly perceived by the other characters and by you. Initially, I had used “he/him” pronouns and then switched because of this issue. I imagined that if I was reading the story and kept reading Woohyun as “him,” then I would only imagine Nam Woohyun as he is now. By switching to “she/her,” you are reminded that he’s different now. It was an artistic decision. This decision was also influenced by the fact that I’m telling this story from both Woohyun’s and Sunggyu’s perspectives. Had it only been Woohyun’s, I might have stuck with “he/him.” But how Sunggyu physically sees Woohyun is important to the story. I didn’t want to ignore that either.  
\---Woohyun wasn’t himself as a woman. Being a woman, especially a hormonal and pregnant one, changed how he interacted not just with Sunggyu but the world. It changed how he thought, how he felt.  
\---the discomfort is intentional. It was to make you experience Woohyun’s feelings along with him. This is really why the warning is necessary. If you didn’t want those feelings, I shouldn’t accidentally trick you into them. It’s like not tagging a major character death. I catfished you. I am very sorry for doing this.
> 
> With that being said, I am still very sorry for not appropriately tagging the story for fear of losing readers. It was very wrong of me to do. I do regret it.
> 
> I really do thank all of you for reading this story. I am really grateful for it. You guys have given me so much confidence as a writer that I challenge myself in ways like this. One day, I will finish my novel and dedicate it to you all! I wouldn't be able to do it without you.

“You’re looking good, Ran Woong-ssi!”

Woohyun smiled and swung her feet back and forth as she sat up on the examination table. Going to the doctor’s office became a part of her routine quite quickly. It was awkward at first, letting a stranger touch a body that she herself wasn’t familiar with, but that stranger was also a doctor. So it was fine, Woohyun reasoned. Furthermore, Bora had been worried about the care Woohyun had received before seeing her, especially since Woohyun couldn’t say anything about her last doctor. But the doctor finally seemed comfortable now, both with Woohyun and where she was in her pregnancy. The doctor put down her tablet and faced the woman. “Everything is as it should be, and your baby girl is nearly full grown. Soon she will be able to be delivered without a problem.”

Woohyun gasped, “Soon?! But I’m not ready,”

Bora giggled at that and shook her head. “Don’t worry. Most first pregnancies tend to be late. You have plenty of time,” she replied. “But things may happen that cause you to go into labor early. I don’t think that would be the case though.”

“Thank goodness,” Woohyun let out a breath with that. She then perked up. “So are we done?”

“We are,” Bora declared, and then Woohyun started to get ready to leave. But Bora wouldn’t let her go without some casual conversation. “So how’s the husband?”

Woohyun hated how warm her skin felt when she heard that. Husband. Well, ever since that one night, they shared a bed at night, shared kisses during the day, and they were very nearly sharing a life together. Kim Sunggyu nearly felt like a real husband now. Woohyun caught her face in the mirror. Yup, she was blushing.

Woohyun cleared her throat and gathered herself together. “He’s doing well,” she vaguely put.

“He’s not working himself too hard?” Bora shot back. The doctor wasn’t looking up from the tablet. Woohyun smirked. She asked, but she wasn’t really interested in the answer because she knew what it would be, what it usually was.

“No, he actually has been coming home early recently,” Woohyun answered.

Bora looked up and smiled. “That’s good. Has it been slow at the company then?” she guessed.

Woohyun shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. I just asked him to.”

Bora laughed out of astonishment. “I’m sorry, what?” she asked with blinking eyes. And Woohyun just shrugged. Bora then looked away to stare at the wall, still blinking. “Woah. I can’t…it’s not that Sunggyu isn’t a nice guy. He is! I just thought he’d never prioritize someone else before himself. But then again, he might’ve grown up.” She faced the other woman again, waving her tablet pen at her. “Ran Woong-ssi, you’re one impressive woman. You escaped oppression, made it to China, where _that _happened,” she pointed to Woohyun’s stomach. “And now you have Kim Sunggyu wrapped around your finger.”

“Huh?”

“Ah, they don’t have that saying up in the North?” Bora guessed. She then spoke very slowly and empathetically, “Kim Sunggyu-ssi loves you so much that he’d do anything for you. He’d even die for you.”

“That’s an exaggeration,” Woohyun muttered below her breath. Bora was seriously overestimating her and underestimating Sunggyu, in her mind.

“You’re right. He wouldn’t die for anyone. He’s a coward,” the doctor yielded. She then stood up and walked Woohyun to the lobby. When they were saying their goodbyes, Bora added, “I’m glad that you guys found each other.”

Woohyun couldn’t hold back the grin breaking across her face. “Me too.”

* * *

“What is it? Is everything okay? Did you find something? Is it Woong-ie? Bobae?” Sunggyu had received a call from Bora at work, and he answered it with a flurry of questions. The doctor never called him. Well, Bora herself used to call him quite frequently years ago. But Bora as a doctor never called him. So when he saw her name flash across his screen, Sunggyu went out to the common area to take the call. His heart was hammering in his chest.

Bora, on the other hand, wasn’t as concerned as he was. Instead she scoffed. “You guys named the child ‘Bobae’?”

“Woo-woong-ssi did,” Sunggyu quickly corrected himself. He nearly slipped up, being so flustered. Bora, still, was quite the opposite. She cracked into a laugh. “What?”

“I seriously can’t handle you two. I’m cringing.” She then audibly shivered, showing her disgust at the ‘married’ couple.

And Sunggyu wasn’t having it anymore. “Why did you call? Is everything fine?” he got right to the point.

“Everything is great,” Bora answered. “I told Woong-ssi that I’d call you about a class.”

Sunggyu groaned and leaned against the wall, pressing his forehead against it. “A class? On what? Woong-ssi already made me watching birthing videos,” he grumbled.

“Really? That’s good,” Bora glossing right over that as if watching a birthing video wasn’t a haunting experience for the average person. She’d gotten too desensitized to it. Bora continued, “But this one is on pain coping mechanisms. Woong-ssi said that she wanted her birth to be as natural as possible…”

“Of course, she did,” Sunggyu interjected and rolled along the wall until his back was up against it. Woohyun was too intent on doing nothing unnecessary to the body, not cutting any hair, not exerting it too much, and now not taking an epidural. The only exception to this was…Sunggyu suddenly grew warmer, at the memory and perhaps a bit of shame. Although there were worse things that you could do to a body besides kiss it.

“…So a class like this would be helpful,” Bora had continued talking, and Sunggyu was only half listening.

“I agree, but why call me about it?”

Bora let out a disappointed sigh, which Sunggyu was more than used to hearing. “Sunggyu, who do you think helps the wife to cope with the pain the most?” she asked.

Sunggyu pulled himself away from the wall. “M-me?” he stammered.

“That’s right, so you need to go too. Doctor’s orders.”

“Fine,” Sunggyu gave in. “I’ll see if I can fit it into my schedule.”

“Oh, I’m _sure _you can,” Bora spoke in a teasing voice.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I told Woong-ssi earlier today that she has you wrapped around her finger,” Bora revealed and poked fun at her old friend, who didn’t take it too well.  
Sunggyu groaned and went back to the wall to hit his head against it. “Why did you do that? She doesn’t need that ego boost,” he mumbled.

“You won’t even deny it,” Bora pointed out, still in a sly voice, but then it changed, grew serious, “Sunggyu.”

“Yes?” he noted the change in her voice.

“I take back what I said earlier. I was wrong. You’ve done very well for yourself by marrying Woong-ssi. So many people get too focused on marrying someone with the right specs or qualifications, as if it was a job rather than a life partner. But you know what’s truly important?”

“Love?” Sunggyu guessed.

“Well, I was going to say ‘character’ and ‘connection,’” Bora replied. “Can I give you some advice from on married person to the next?”

“Sure,” Sunggyu agreed because she was going to tell him her advice regardless.

And here it was: “When I was studying, they told us that the lowest point of every marriage is the first child, so you’re in for some tough times ahead.”

“I know,” he muttered under his breath. The raising a child was the least of their worries right now.

Bora snorted. “Of course, you do. You always know,” she said snarkily. “So you should also know to keep in mind what’s important. Which is?”

“Love.”

“‘Character’ and ‘connection,’ Sunggyu! Haven’t you been listening to me?” Bora raised her voice in disbelief.

About OBGYN stuff, yes, Sunggyu listened better to Bora, but about relationships, Sunggyu didn’t listen much to his ex. “What the difference?” it was a rhetorical question and Bora answered it anyway. This was why they worked better as friends.

“I find ‘love’ to be dependent on variables; those variables being ‘character’ and ‘connection’ among others. Those variables are more like constants; they won’t change for the most part. But if you fiddle with the constants a little, the love changes. For example, would you still love Woong-ssi if something about her core character changed?” Sunggyu had been half-listening to her rant until she asked that question. She had his full attention now. “Like if she wasn’t so playful or considerate? Or say that she was older or younger? From America? What if Woong-ssi was a man?” Bora paused for a moment or two, waiting for Sunggyu to answer, but he couldn’t even move now let alone talk. “See you can’t answer that. So character is more important than love.”

“If Woong-ie changed, I’d still love her…I think.” Sunggyu spoke loudly, confidently, until the last part. It probably didn’t sound as convincing as he meant it to sound. And he should be convincing! He and Ran Woong were supposed to be this loving, married couple. But he and Woohyun were…His mind was sorting through a thousand thoughts. And Sunggyu tried to knock them out one by one by hitting his head against the wall.

“Well good because you guys will see the worst sides of each other in a few weeks,” Bora appeared to be pleased with his response. “You’ll do just fine, _especially _if you go to that class.”

Sunggyu sighed. “Tell me when it is.”

* * *

“Woohyun?”

“Yes?” It happened. Sunggyu knew it would. He got used to it. He got used to this version of Woohyun. What did the old Woohyun look like again? What did he sound like? Even in his mind when imagining Woohyun, Sunggyu could only see this pretty face with round eyes and hear this high yet soft voice. “What?” Woohyun asked in the only voice Sunggyu could remember her having. She then put down her chopsticks and turned down the burner. She’d been cooking, when Sunggyu came home and called her name and just lingered at the threshold of the kitchen like a weirdo. But Sunggyu couldn’t help it. This was weird. It all was. ‘What if Ran Woong-ssi was a man?’ She had been, and Sunggyu couldn’t even put two parts of his face together. However, Sunggyu wasn’t trying as hard as he could. He didn’t want to.

“You won’t tell me? Do you want me to read your mind?” Woohyun asked coyly and walked over towards him. She stopped, with her face close to his, and stared into his eyes. Sunggyu was terrified. If any being could read his mind, it would be Woohyun with that penetrating gaze of hers, boring down into his soul. “You,” she began. Sunggyu closed his eyes and tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. “You want to go for a walk.”

Sunggyu coughed out a laugh. “How did you know?” he lied.

“You’re an easy read, hyung,” Woohyun spoke proudly as she took a step back. She then spun around to return to the stove. “I just have to look into your eyes, and I know exactly what you’re thinking.”

Sunggyu followed her closely. “Hm, do you think that I can read yours?” he asked as he took her by the hips and spun her back around. “Tell me something.”

What Woohyun tried to tell him at the moment, Sunggyu didn’t know. The light in her eyes faded away. Her eyes were now dark, still, and distant just like…He remembered! Sunggyu remembered that look! Woohyun would often have that expression when they were drinking. All smiles and brightness and then nothing but a blank expression, leaving Sunggyu with nothing to read purposefully. Woohyun was hiding things from him back then. Nam Woohyun with thin eyes, a sharp nose and…

That memory was chased out of his mind by a kiss on his lips. Sunggyu focused again and saw Woohyun smiling cheekily at him. “You failed,” she teased him.

“How? I didn’t even guess yet!” Sunggyu raised his voice.

“Because you couldn’t guess,” Woohyun argued. She then patted him on the shoulder, consoling him. “Don’t feel bad. Not everyone has psychic abilities.”

“Psychic?” he picked out. “Can you tell my future?”

Woohyun sighed and looked over at the stove. “If I could, I would’ve found my body already,” she grumbled as she grabbed the frying pan putting it aside in aggravation. She then tugged at his sleeve. “Come on, get your jacket on, and let’s go for a walk.”

“What about dinner?” Sunggyu asked when she passed him by.

“I burned it. Badly. It’s rubbish,” Woohyun informed him from the living room. She was already getting ready to go outside. Sunggyu sniffed, now noticing the burnt smell. How did he miss that? And miss seeing those black squares in the pan, swimming in oil. Sunggyu snorted. Woohyun was a decent cook and cooked well 75% of the time. But when she failed, there was no way to salvage it or eat it without risking their taste-buds and/or blood pressure.

There was a tug on his hand as another enveloped his. Sunggyu looked over to see Woohyun already in his long, flannel coat and her slides that she bought recently since her feet were too swollen to fit anything else. “Let’s go!” she begged.

“Okay, but why do you want to go on a walk so badly?” he asked and let her lead him away.

“Just because…”

* * *

Just because Woohyun liked being able to walk hand-in-hand with a special someone in public. She hadn’t gotten the chance to do this in her recent relationships. She hadn’t gotten the chance to give a short peck in public either, but now she did as a ‘thank you’ to Sunggyu for buying her cheap food from a cart. She also never heard strangers gush over her relationships in years. The ahjummah at the food cart said that they were a cute couple. The grandma working the noodle shop next door gave Woohyun a free bowl of noodles “for the baby” and gave Sunggyu a lecture about how to treat a wife properly which her own husband never did. It was nice. It was really nice to see people interested in them and in their relationship. Strangers were looking at them with kind eyes and smiles rather than in disgust or pretending not to look at them at all while obviously looking at them. This wasn’t a silver lining in her cloud; it was pure gold.

While Sunggyu wiped the soup dripping from her chin, Woohyun wondered if Sunggyu realized that she was gay. She often wondered this, especially when he made her heart race. He had to know, right? Or was he choosing to ignore it? But more often than that, Woohyun wondered if Sunggyu was even attracted to men. She’d been wondering that ever since the first night they went drinking together. Was it wrong of her to hope that he did? Or would she be wasting it?

Her golden lining was tarnishing.

* * *

That wasn’t the only thing that was tarnished. Sunggyu’s reputation at the company was too.

**Sungyeol: **Kim Sunggyu got reprimanded. I hear that it’s his second time. I guess that even great monuments erode over time. Like the pyramids or that sand castle I built on that class trip.

**Sungyeol: **Just send me something to show that you’re alive again. Please.

**Woohyun: **.

**Sungyeol: **Thanks.

Woohyun had a solution. Sunggyu wasn’t going to like it, but she was going to do it anyway. Heck, she already did it. She was already there. She was currently waiting in the lobby of the company that fired her months ago, with a visitor’s past hanging from her neck.

“Yes, Sunggyu-ssi, your wife is here,” the woman at the front desk repeated. “Her name? Well, Ran Woong, of course! Why…” she pulled the phone away from her face and carefully put it back down on the receiver. The receptionist then put the fakest smile on her face. “He’s coming down. He’ll be here in a moment.”

“Perfect!” Woohyun chirped and then sat down, with her usual groan, but it didn’t wipe the grin from her face. “He didn’t know I was coming. I’m surprising him!”

“Honestly, I was surprised too to hear that Sunggyu-ssi had a wife,” the receptionist spoke with a saccharine voice.

“Hm? He doesn’t talk about the North Korean defector that he knocked up during a business trip to China and eventually eloped with even though his parents were against our marriage but he just loved me so dang much?”

“What?” the smile finally fell from the other woman’s face.

“What are you doing here?” Sunggyu’s voice nearly drowned hers out, and it surprisingly wasn’t angry, just confused.

“Just checking things out,” Woohyun lied.

And Sunggyu knew it. “You want to see who replaced you, don’t you?” he guessed in a low whisper, but he was wrong.

“Sure,” Woohyun replied with a shrug. She then threaded her arm around Sunggyu’s and patted it. “Show me around, sweetheart.”

“Sweatheart?” Sunggyu repeated with a scoff, although visibly liking it. “Okay, I’ll take you up.”

Once on the main floor, Woohyun detangled herself from Sunggyu and walked ahead shouting to no one in particular, “Hello, everyone! I’m Kim Sunggyu’s wife!” She then went up to a poor, shocked intern. “Hello, newbie. Meet my new baby!” she exclaimed, pulling back her coat and proudly showing off her belly.

“What are you doing?!”

“Oh, it’s my old baby,” Woohyun slipped that joke to the intern before Sunggyu pulled her away.

“What…”

“Helping you,” she interrupted him and effectively shut him up. “I’ve heard that you had a few talks with your boss, and so I’m here to show the reason why your performance is slipping, father of my unborn child.”

Sunggyu sighed and groaned at the same time somehow. “You don’t…”

Oh, but she did and she was going to, right now. An unfortunate worker was passing by the couple, and Woohyun stopped her and introduced herself, “Ah, hello, do you know this man? I’m his wife. And this is our baby.”

“Congratulations,” the worker replied, completely disinterested, and went on her way.

Woohyun spun around to face the other. “See, people are happy for you!” Woohyun tried to convince him. It wasn’t working. Sunggyu still didn’t like this idea at all; it showed all over his face. “Let’s just do this. It couldn’t hurt,” she whispered and tried to be cute.

Being cute worked better than words. “Okay,” he finally gave in. “Do you want to eat lunch with me? Let’s go to the cafeteria.”

* * *

**Sungyeol: **Holy shit! Kim Sunggyu is married! Look! I took a picture of her. She’s huge!

**Sungyeol: **I mean she’s really pregnant.

**Sungyeol: **She’s weird. She introduced herself to everybody, as if being the wife of Kim Sunggyu was something to brag about.

**Sungyeol: **I think she winked at me.

**Sungyeol: **There’s ice cream in the office fridge today. Your favorite.

* * *

The plan worked even beyond Woohyun’s expectations. She got to visit the office again, mess with Sungyeol again, and eat her weight in ice cream. That was all what Woohyun expected would happen. She didn’t expect Sunggyu to be called into the office and be offered paid paternity leave. Heck, Woohyun forgot that paternity leave was an actual thing. But she was grateful that it still existed. Her mind was now spinning with images of her coming home with a bundle in her arms and Sunggyu by her side to help her through it all 24/7.

And that help started now, apparently. That weekend, they attended the pain-coping class, which was helpful albeit bizarre. Along with some helpful advice, they were also asked to imagine a cat, giving birth alone in a dark closet, her ‘safe space,’ as nature intended. Well, Woohyun wasn’t going to give birth in any closet or in the dark for that matter. But she was going to do her best to give birth naturally. And with these strategies and with practice (although without water because Sunggyu nixed the idea of an at-home water birth. “Not in my tub!” The jerk!), Woohyun knew that she could do it. And she hadn’t felt this confident about something in a long while.

After their last class, Woohyun was sitting on the couch, watching a drama and clutching onto ice cubes. The teacher said that the pain of your hand freezing off would be a distraction from the tiny human ripping through your body. And it truly was distracting. Woohyun couldn’t focus at all on the drama or hold the ice cubes for longer than ten seconds. “A-ah,” Woohyun whimpered again and let the cubes fall into her lap.

“Hey!” The ice cubes had also fallen onto Sunggyu’s head. Trust him to lay his head on whatever there was left of Woohyun’s lap. He sat up and shook his head, water flying. “You did that on purpose,” he grumbled.

“I didn’t,” Woohyun argued. “I can’t hold it for long. It’s too cold. You try it! I bet that you can’t last much longer!”

“Bet?” that caught his interest. A sly grin cut across his face. “What do you want to bet?”

“Hm,” she hummed in thought. “If I win, then you have to rub my feet. They’re pretty swollen.”

“What if I win?”

“You won’t win,” she retorted.

Sunggyu snorted. “Cocky,” he muttered. “If I win, then you have to…rub _my _feet.”

“How creative?” Woohyun said with a roll of her eyes. “Call. Let’s do this!”

After many, many rounds of this ridiculous competition and after much trash talking and bickering over rules, Woohyun won and had her feet gingerly touched for a grand total of two minutes when Sunggyu claimed that he fulfilled his duty. While she’d preferred to have her feet actually massaged for longer, Woohyun let the issue drop. She was able to hold onto the ice cube until it fully melted and replace it with another. All she needed to do that was motivation.

And Sunggyu was surprisingly motivated to go over some of the other techniques that they learned. They practiced breathing and swaying, which looked and sounded so silly that the two of them couldn’t manage to do it for long and crumbled into heaps of laughter. When wiping the tears of joy from her eyes, she could finally see the other clearly again, who had laughed so hard that he was coughing. In that moment, her heart didn’t race; it didn’t skip a beat. It was still and at peace, filled to the brim with gratitude and l…

“Yah, it’s getting late,” Sunggyu broke the tender moment, with his brash (and now raspy) voice. “Let’s go to bed.”

* * *

After getting washed and changed, the two laid on their sides, facing each other. Although it was rather late, they were still wide awake. Something was keeping them up. Perhaps it was Sunggyu’s soft touches as he played with her hair and remarked about how her bangs grew too long, while pushing them away from her face. Or perhaps it was the way that Woohyun took those hands and held them to her lips.

It was probably the lingering questions that they both had in their minds, and one of them was finally brave enough to ask it.

“Woohyunnie, on the night of the switch, did you only ask me for help because I was there?” Sunggyu asked, pulling their joined hands away from her mouth so that she could still answer. But she still didn’t answer with words, only a shake of the head. “Because I’m gullible?” he guessed. Woohyun shook her head again, and Sunggyu was frustrated. “Then why?”

“Because I knew I could trust you.” Woohyun had never told him, but meeting Sunggyu that night, it was a stroke of luck. In addition to being a man of faith, Sunggyu was also very responsible, even for things that mildly pertained to him. He felt compelled to check up on projects that he gave the slightest aide to. And when a project failed due extraneous matters, Sunggyu took the failure personally. Woohyun had noticed this over the years. It was hard not to, especially when Sunggyu made sure that they all went home in a taxi or with a driver after drinking and he’d continuously count and keep track of people during company outings. At times, Woohyun considered it a fault, but that night it was a blessing. Sunggyu barely knew Woohyun, but he still knew her, so…“I knew that you would help me.”

“You trust me?” he seemed to like the sound of that.

“Hyung, look at us,” Woohyun pointed out, although they were doing more touching than looking now. Her fingertips were dancing up his arm. “Would I still be here if I didn’t? Would I do this?” She gripped at his shoulder and pulled him closer, into a kiss. When they pulled away, she laughed. “I wouldn’t let you do that,” referring to his hand that somehow made its way to her butt.

“True,” he sheepishly admitted and pulled his hand up to her hip. “Do you like me?” he tried to make her as flustered as he was, but it didn’t work. Woohyun kissed him softly and shamelessly. He pouted afterwards. “That didn’t answer my question.”

“I like you…a lot,” Woohyun confessed, her voice dropping at the end. Her confidence faded too, while the questions in her mind grew louder and louder. Did he…

“I like you too,” Sunggyu whispered back and leaned in closer to her, putting his arm around her. It was an awkward hug, with the round belly keeping them apart, but it still made her feel all of the affection that he was trying to give.

She winded an arm around his waist. “Good, now we don’t have to be one of those couples who pretend to like each other just because we’re married,” Woohyun whispered. It was a joke, and Sunggyu did laugh. But it was short and slightly bitter.

Although he tried to hide it by saying, “No we don’t.” He also couldn’t hide his thoughts. Woohyun could tell that he was thinking about their sham of a marriage. But Woohyun had something completely different on her mind.

“Hyung?” she called him out of his thoughts. She grinned. “Since we’re acting like a married couple, let’s act like one completely.” Her hand slipped across his waist, from the back to the front, and her fingertips lightly grazed the hem of his shirt teasingly before gripping it and pulling it up. Or at least trying to, but Sunggyu blubbered incoherently in protest and yanked his shirt back down. But Woohyun knew exactly what sexy words to say to put him into the mood:

“It’s okay. I googled it.”

Sunggyu sputtered into a laugh and melted, all tension, all reservations left his body and mind. “You’re crazy,” he muttered as he let her pull at his shirt. Soon it was off and tossed aside.

“Eung. And you like me. I drive you crazy,” Woohyun teased. While Sunggyu was raising her own shirt higher and higher, she hooked a finger under his chin and pushed it upwards so that their gazes met. “I have you wrapped around my finger.”

Sunggyu groaned and quickly moved his chin away. “You never needed to hear that,” he mumbled.

“And you’re still not denying it.”

Woohyun had never felt both so in and out of control with her body before that night. Things were very awkward at the start, and no amount of googling could have readied her for that moment. But they both were determined to make it work, to make them work, seamlessly, harmoniously, in the most intimate embrace that either of them had ever felt. And in all sense of the word, they were intimate, with bodies and feelings naked and exposed, but they had enough faith and trust in each other to know that it was okay. All of this was okay. They wanted this. They wanted each other. They wanted each other’s desire and affection. They needed it. And that made it more than okay.

It was amazing.

* * *

Growing up, Woohyun had often heard of the ‘glow’ that pregnant women have. Being only pregnant in the third trimester, Woohyun felt as if she did more rolling than glowing. However, today was different. She felt lighter, brighter, and her ending smile shone for all to see. She was glowing and the world was glowing with her.

“Unnie? Unnie! Yah! Ahn Heeyeon!”

A shadow cast across her, masking her glow and making her smile fade away. The shadow belonged to a young woman, perhaps college-aged or recently graduated. She stepped right in front of Woohyun, stopping her in the middle of the sidewalk. The young woman looked utterly offended. “Unnie, did you not see me? Could you not hear me?”

Ahn Heeyeon. The body belonged to Ahn Heeyeon. And that’s who this girl thought she was talking to. “Unnie, are you feeling okay?” the young woman went from offended to concerned.

“I’m sorry,” Woohyun reflexively apologized. “The pregnancy is messing with my mind.” It was severely messing with it right now.

“Ah,” the girl spoke as if she understood. “I should’ve known. You’ve been out of it from the start. I’m not even upset that you haven’t met with me in months, seriously. What’s going on? How’s Kiheung-oppa?”

“Who?”

“Wow, I know that pregnancy really messes with the mind, but how could you forget about your husband, unnie?”

Kim Kiheung was a reporter on an assignment in China. He had been there these last few months, Woohyun had learned this from her trusted friend google. But from Ahn Heeyeon’s friend Junghwa (the girl that she met on the street), Woohyun learned that Heeyeon was a host of a home-shopping channel, who (fortunately for Woohyun) had been put on maternity leave ever since she started showing and the bump was impossible to find. Apparently, Heeyeon didn’t want news of her pregnancy circulating. Woohyun couldn’t understand why. True, she was a very minor celebrity in her own right, but this news would hardly make it to the papers, even with a reporter husband. She was married. She was of an appropriate age. What was Ahn Heeyeon so worried about?

Woohyun didn’t know, but she knew that Heeyeon was messaging people. Junghwa made several references to their texts in their short conversation. Heeyeon was most likely texting her husband as well. And since she was keeping in communication with her friends, Woohyun decided to drop her this clue.

“Junghwa, I keep forgetting, but I want to introduce you to this guy,” Woohyun began.

Junghwa lit up. “Who, unnie? Is a coworker of Kiheung-oppa?”

“No,” Woohyun answered. The younger’s face fell, and Woohyun knew how to bring it back up. “But he’s employed at an elite company. Makes good money. He’s also _incredibly _handsome. You’d be surprised.”

“Who is he? What’s his number?”

“I left my phone at home, so send a text to me to give you Nam Woohyun’s phone number.”

“Nam Woohyun,” Junghwa spoke slowly as she entered it into the phone. “Got it and sent!” she announced as the text flew away to the real Ahn Heeyeon.

Woohyun smiled at her uneasily. “Fantastic.”

* * *

Woohyun arrived home far later than she expected. It was supposed to be a quick trip to the market to pick up items for dinner, and it soon turned into a long trip down the path of realization. Junghwa walked with her most of the way down that path. The rest of it she walked alone, in the living room, going down the avenues of the internet in search of Ahn Heeyeon. She took a rest at the webpage of reporter Kim Kiheung, but that was only a brief respite. Looking at his face filled Woohyun with anxiety and guilt. Other than that, she felt very little connection to it, even though the child inside of her was his (theoretically). But soon Woohyun again found the trails of Ahn Heeyeon on the internet, the multiple social media accounts which were still regularly updated but hadn’t included Heeyeon’s face even before the switch, and the home-shopping host’s professional webpage. It almost seemed as if Heeyeon had never disappeared, as if she were walking this world as she normally had been and not in the body of a man. It was surreal to read about her, to see video clips of her promoting everything from skincare to craft supplies. For over two months, this face and this body had been Woohyun’s. Somehow the full reality of it being someone else’s escaped her all this time. She was living someone else’s life. She was borrowing someone else’s life. And eventually it had to be given back. All of it.

When Woohyun was one step away from fully realizing, she stopped in her tracks. Sunggyu had come home, with a large grin on his face and a kiss ready for Woohyun. With that, Woohyun took several steps back.

“What are you looking at?” Sunggyu asked, referring to the laptop open on the coffee table.

Woohyun slid it towards him as she also made room for him on the couch. “You can look.” There was no point hiding it. Maybe they could walk the final steps of this journey together. Woohyun didn’t want to arrive there alone.

But Sunggyu was several kilometers behind Woohyun. He briefly scanned the screen and guessed, “You got a job on the home-shopping network? Congrats!” He praised while patting her on the head.

“No, _look_. Actually look at it!” Woohyun urged him, pointing at the screen. “It’s her.”

Sunggyu’s eyes grew wider than Woohyun had ever seen them. He then picked up the laptop and read the page thoroughly. “Ahn Heeyeon,” he muttered under his breath as he kept reading and scrolling. But then he stopped. Woohyun could tell he was reading the same line over and over again. “Fuck.”

"What’s wrong? What is it?”

Sunggyu shut the laptop, put it back on the table, and then crumbled into a small ball. His head was almost touching his knees. His hands were buried into his hair, pulling at the roots. “You’re married. I mean, she’s married. I mean…fuck,” Sunggyu threw his head back at the last word.

Woohyun smiled nervously. She reminded him, “Well, we kinda assumed that she was from the start…”

“But we forgot about it didn’t we? Or at least I have!” Sunggyu cut her off, and if they were both honest, Sunggyu had forgotten more than just that, just like Woohyun had. He sprung up from the couch and started pacing the room. His mind breaking piece by piece at every step. “I can believe I slept with a married woman. I’m going to Hell for this. I ruined someone’s marriage.”

“You didn’t,” Woohyun tried to calm him down. But he didn’t even appear to have heard her. He was still pacing and muttering to himself. So she got up and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hyung! You…”

Sunggyu finally registered her, looked up at her. And he was terrified. “Sorry, I…I need to go for a walk,” he stammered and was soon out the door with only his slippers on. He didn’t hear Woohyun telling him to stay and that things were okay. Or if he did hear them, he didn’t believe her. To him, things were far from okay. That was evident when he came back hours later, reeking of alcohol, with red and swollen eyes. He collapsed onto the couch immediately as he came inside. Woohyun came out of the bedroom as soon as she heard the door unlock and watched him do so.

She sighed and walked over to the couch. “Hyung, don’t sleep there. Come to bed,” she spoke as warmly as she could muster at that hour and at him. Sunggyu had left her alone for hours to confront all of this on her own. In all honesty, Woohyun didn’t like Sunggyu very much right now, but she still would rather be with him than alone again. And Sunggyu would rather pretend to be asleep than come to bed with her. “Suit yourself, you jerk,” Woohyun spat and then kicked the couch out of frustration. “Owie!”

That hurt like Hell. The foot that wasn’t even hers hurt like Hell. It wasn’t fair, none of this was. Woohyun never asked to be like this. It was thrust upon her: the body, the child, the feelings, everything! As Woohyun limped towards bed, she was conscious of every motion of the body, the weight growing heavier, the hair brushing against her skin. She raised her hand and just stared at it. The hand was pale and small, yet the fingers were long, thin, and straight. They looked nothing like Woohyun’s real hands, a man’s hands.

Woohyun was crying before she could sense it coming. It hit her, the sobbing and the dysphoria. Nothing was okay. Everything was wrong.

And things stayed that way the following morning. Sunggyu knocked on the bedroom door before coming in and apologizing as he did so. He wasn’t apologizing for the night before but for coming into a room that was already his. Woohyun watched him get ready. They both didn’t speak to each other. She was waiting for him to break the silence first, but he never did. He also didn’t kiss her goodbye as he’d been in the habit of doing recently. And Woohyun didn’t leave the bed to walk him to the door, as she’d been in the habit of doing. Instead she fell back into the bed, wishing desperately to fall back into that dream that the both of them had been living in these past weeks. But she couldn’t. The dream was gone. They were awake now and had to face reality as it was.

* * *

Woohyun didn’t really know what to expect from this reality, but it wasn’t Kim Sunggyu coming home from work early or sitting down with her to say that his paternity leave was going to start the week she was due. Woohyun wondered if Sunggyu had come to terms with reality better than she had. But he didn’t. After ‘reporting’ to her, Sunggyu went into the bedroom. Through the open door, she could see him opening the box that the changing table was in. He was going to build it to avoid talking to her for an extended period of time, or to simply even look at her.

All of this was really confusing Woohyun, so she came into the room and asked, “You’re still going to help be raise Bobae?”

“Yes,” Sunggyu replied, distracted as he was flipping through the instruction booklet. “Why do you ask?”

“Maybe because you haven’t looked me in the eye all day.”

“Well, I’ve been at work for most of the day,” he reasoned. He then put down the booklet, not to look at her but to pull the parts from out of the box. “And I’m busy now.”

“Never stopped you before,” Woohyun grumbled lowly. She reached her limit. She went up to him and tugged on his sleeve. “Hyung, look at me,” she begged.

Sunggyu set things down and stood up straight. His eyes went wide as they did the night before. “I’m looking!” he declared.

Woohyun was so desperate at this moment that she just accepted it. “Do you not like me anymore?” she pressed.

Sunggyu dropped his gaze. “I like you, Woohyun, but…”

“But what?!” Woohyun snapped. She was shouting. “This body belongs to someone else. It always has.” She stepped closer to him. “But it’s _me_, hyung. It’s Nam Woohyun. It’s always been. I’m not Ahn Heeyeon. I’m not _anything _like her! I’m not a home-shopping host. I’m not married. I’m not Ran Woong either! I’m Woohyun, Nam Woohyun. I grew up in Seoul, and I worked at the same company as you for _years_. You’ve known me for years! Remember?” Her voice lost its strength. She hadn’t talked to anyone all day, and it showed. She was overcome with emotion, and that showed too in tears and shakiness. “I’m not married. I’m…I’m with _you_.”

“I know,” Sunggyu agreed but there was a caveat, “But it’s still not your body. You said it yourself months ago, it feels wrong to do things with it sometimes. What would she think if she knew?”

Woohyun sat down on the bed, frustrated, and wiped her face as she argued, “Well, who the hell knows what she’s doing with my own body?”

“Then would you like it if she was sleeping around?” she didn’t like how Sunggyu said that or how he was standing over her now.

“I’m _not _sleeping around,” she growled.

“Woohyun-ah, stop twisting my words around,” Sunggyu whined and stepped back. “Just answer me. Do you think it’s okay for us to be like this?”

Now Woohyun was the one refusing to look at the other. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t know, okay? I just…” Woohyun didn’t want to finish that. She didn’t want to seem impudent.

“What?” Sunggyu sat down next to her.

“I want to be with you,” Woohyun spoke, barely moving her lips. She raised her gaze to his. Her hand slid across the bedspread, bumping into his. “Is that really so bad? Can we not be together because of this?” those were honest questions that Woohyun herself didn’t know the answer to. But there was one argument that she had on her side: “She doesn’t need to know.”

Sunggyu sputtered into a short laugh. “Why does it sound like we’re having an affair?”

“We’re not,” Woohyun grumbled and retracted her hand. She couldn’t look at him again. She thought she’d failed to get her point across. Woohyun didn’t just want this; she needed it. She needed Sunggyu to treat her as he had been. She needed his affection. Most of all, she needed his friendship and not just his help.

“I know.” Sunggyu seemed to understand. It wasn’t his words that convinced Woohyun of that, but his actions. He put his arms around her and pulled her close to him. His chin hooked over her shoulder. “This should be okay, right?” Woohyun nodded and turned towards him to hug him fully and to wrap her own arms around him.

“I needed this,” Woohyun whispered and then buried her face into him.

Sunggyu raised his head. “I’m sorry, Woohyun. I keep forgetting how hard this is on you. So you have to tell me sometimes, okay?” he said. He then dragged his hands along her back in order to hold onto her cheeks. They stared at each other for a beat before Sunggyu asked again, “Okay?” Woohyun gave a small smile and nodded. Sunggyu grinned too and rubbed his thumbs across her cheeks. “Pretty.”

And Woohyun turned away when Sunggyu leaned in for a kiss, and it landed on her ‘pretty’ cheek.

“What’s wrong?” Sunggyu asked, worried.

“Braxton-Hicks,” Woohyun lied and started to take in sharp breaths through her teeth as if in actual pain. “Those fake contraction things,” she explained because Sunggyu didn’t get it.

“O-oh!” he stuttered. “Why don’t you lay down? Wait, is laying down good? What should we do? Is there anything I can do to help? I can get you ice.” He was on his feet now.

“No, I just need to ride this out,” Woohyun spoke and then groaned, hoping it didn’t sound fake. She’d also hoped that Sunggyu would take it as a hint to leave her alone, but he was still standing in front of her. “I’d rather not have you watch.”

He finally got it. “Oh okay, I’ll be right out here if you need me,” and with that, he left the bedroom and carefully closed the door behind him.

When he did, Woohyun fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. She’d finally managed to convince Sunggyu that they could be together. But now she was having doubts.

“Pretty,” Woohyun repeated and laughed sadly at it.

She then sat back up and gazed at the mirror across the room. That person, Ahn Heeyeon, was a stranger. The pretty face that she was touching was a stranger’s. It wasn’t Woohyun’s. Yet this is what Sunggyu saw and had been seeing these past few months. Was it the face that convinced him or the words that Woohyun spoke? Was it Woohyun’s personality that he liked or Heeyeon’s body?

The truth of the matter was that Woohyun and Sunggyu only came together because of this body. And when Woohyun would inevitably switch back, would there still be an ‘us’?

Her hands held onto Bobae protectively. She didn’t want to let go of any of this…now, right at this very moment. As for the future, Woohyun couldn’t say. She couldn’t even say if she’d want it as a he. In the future, would Woohyun ‘need’ Sunggyu? Would her feelings go away for him after the switch along with the hormones and such? There was a possibility that was true, and Woohyun hoped it was. She hoped the attraction was due to her being vulnerable and Sunggyu being there. It wasn’t because of Sunggyu in particular. Sunggyu could’ve been anybody. Sunggyu was replaceable.

In short, in reality, their feelings probably weren’t real. It could all be part of the dream too.

With those thoughts in mind, Woohyun came out of the bedroom. When she did, Sunggyu bolted out of his spot as if Woohyun had come out of the OR instead of the bedroom. “Are you okay? Are they over? Should I call Bora?” the questions quickly spilled out of his mouth.

Shit. Whether or not it was dream, right now, at this very moment, Woohyun loved him.

“I’m fine,” she muttered, still stunned by that realization.

“You don’t look fine,” Sunggyu remarked. He then went over to her, put his arm around her, and tried to guide her into a seat. “What’s wrong? Tell me. Hm? Tell me, Woong-ah.”

Woohyun stopped and snarled, “What did you call me?”

Sunggyu let go and put his hands in the air. “I was joking! Seriously, I was! I know who you are, Woohyun. Nam Woohyun,” he insisted, but she had a hard time believing him. So he kept going. “I can’t ever forget that you’re Woohyun, trust me. You’re not as feminine as you think.”

She couldn’t fight the smile forming on her face. “I’m not?”

“Nope, not at all,” Sunggyu reiterated. He then began to list every stereotypically masculine thing that he’d seen Woohyun do. She spread her legs out far too wide while sitting. She grunted like an old man, belched and farted shamelessly, scratched her non-existent balls out of habit, talked about them too, referred to herself as ‘dad’ or ‘daddy’ to Bobae, called Sunggyu nothing else but ‘hyung,’ and the list went on.

Woohyun felt happier and happier as the conversation went on. It not only made her feel like a man again, but it also gave her hope. Maybe, just maybe they could fall back into that dream.

So before they fell asleep that night, settling into each other as they were settling into bed, Woohyun asked, “Hyung, what would you do if you woke up and I was in my own body again?”

“Well, I’d be shocked for one,” Sunggyu answered. He kept going, throwing a joke in between here or there, but it all amounted to that answer. He’d be shocked. Which didn’t give Woohyun much substance to set her hopes on. And so she fell back to the thoughts that she had earlier: would she even want this later? Was it even worth hoping for?

Sunggyu’s answer, however, was enough to never make Woohyun ask the question again.

What Woohyun didn’t know was that Sunggyu wasn’t trying to hide anything with his answer. Other than being shocked, Sunggyu couldn’t predict how he’d react, what his heart would do. And he didn’t want to make promises that he couldn’t keep.

And that wasn’t the only question that Woohyun asked that Sunggyu couldn’t answer. However it wasn’t about their relationship. It was about Bobae. And she kept asking it over and over again: “Hyung, do you think if I give birth, we can keep Bobae?”

At times, she was more confident: “If I give birth to her, it’s only right that she’s mine.”

At other times, desperate: “Let’s take the baby and run.”

Underlying all of those questions was this fear: “Hyung, if I can’t have her…”

“I know,” Sunggyu filled in the blank for her, “I’ll go crazy too.”

* * *

Sunggyu didn’t have to wait for Bobae’s arrival to go crazy, he already was. He hid it well though. He knew how to act strong in front of others and fall apart when alone, like right now. He was walking down the street as if a mindless zombie. Head down, feet shuffling, bumping into people, walls, or poles, and not caring about the subsequent pain. He had to fall apart piece by piece now, like a zombie losing its limbs, and later he’d be able to act like a human again in front of Woohyun. Sunggyu wouldn’t be entirely human or himself with Woohyun though, but she also hadn’t been noticing it lately. She was partially a zombie too, with a parasite gradually sucking out her lifeforce so that it could survive on its own.

Sunggyu halted in the middle of the street and shook his head. He shouldn’t be thinking of Bobae like that. And he shouldn’t be feeling resentment towards the baby, but there it was, growing inside of him like a virus. He still wanted Bobae and wanted to love her. But with Bobae’s arrival, Sunggyu knew everything would come to an end. He came to this conclusion ever since he learned of Ahn Heeyeon and her husband. Bobae was their child, not Woohyun’s and surely not his. Because of that, they’d never be able to keep her.

What really convinced Sunggyu about all of this was the fact that the witch switched them so that Woohyun and Heeyeon could learn to respect each other and not be too hasty to judge. As far as curses go, it was made with good intentions, and that witch was some chaotic good. She wasn’t Maleficient nor Rumpelstiltskin, but more like a Dumbledore. The witch pushed the boundaries past what was appropriate, letting two kids run amok in each other’s bodies, but there was a lesson to be learned in the end and things would generally turn out okay.

Given all of that, there was no way the witch would rob a mother of her child and put it in the hands of some stranger. There was no way she’d ruin a family. Kim Kiheung had miraculously been on a special assignment for these past months, without a clue what happened to his wife or her body. For Sunggyu, that wasn’t a coincidence. That was magic.

Woohyun must’ve realized that too which was why she kept bargaining with Sunggyu to keep Bobae.

They were fighting a losing battle, against time and against themselves. Woohyun could switch back any day now. Woohyun was going to be a man again. It really could happen that Sunggyu would wake up one day and find a man in his bed.

“Fuck.”

Sunggyu ran into a pole again, but instead of moving on, he just stopped in front of it, as if it were a wall.

Was he leading Woohyun on? He wasn’t going to _say_promises that he couldn’t keep, but surely his actions could come across as silent promises. However, he couldn’t help himself. There was no way that he could not _not_feel the way he did about Woohyun, with how she was now. It was too strong for him to control. He did it unconsciously. And most of all, he was selfish. If Sunggyu was going to lose her soon, then he wanted to savor every last moment with her. What made Sunggyu really feel guilty was that, Woohyun really wasn’t pushing him away. And Woohyun _had _to know what Sunggyu was thinking. She always did. She was psychic...or seemed to be to Sunggyu.

Sunggyu felt like he owed it to Woohyun to at least think about it, to think about them in the future after the switch back. He closed his eyes and rest his head against the pole. He tried his best to visualize the original Nam Woohyun. Recently the image had been coming to him more easily now as he’d been trying hard not to forget it. Also lately, when Woohyun was gone or not paying attention, Sunggyu would pull out his phone and look at Woohyun’s Instagram to remind himself what Woohyun was supposed to look like. Sunggyu was trying. He honestly was. But as the Woohyun in his mind’s eye approached him, the hair grew longer, the eyes bigger, his chest…

“Excuse me.”

Someone knocked into Sunggyu’s shoulder and snapped him out of it. “Sorry.” He’d opened his eyes to see who it was. Sunggyu thought that he was still imagining things. He’d only caught a glimpse of the person’s profile, but there was no mistaking it. “Woo-woohyun? Woohyun! Hey! It’s me!” he shouted after the man jogging away from him. The person didn’t turn around or even register his name. And that was because it wasn’t his name. “Oh fuck, it’s her!” Sunggyu exclaimed and started to run after him. “Hey! Stop! I need to talk to you! Stop!” he yelled while trying to catch up to the other. But the man just picked up speed once he sensed someone following him. But Sunggyu knew how to stop him: “Yah! Ahn Heeyeon!”

Heeyeon stopped and slowly turned around, taking the headphones out of his ears. “How…how did you know?” he asked. “How do you know my name?”

“Your body, it’s at my place,” Sunggyu explained, while panting. He finally caught up to him. But then he realized how his words could’ve come across. “It’s alive! It’s alive, don’t worry! Bo-the baby is doing well too.”

“Oh my goodness! Really?!” Heeyeon gasped. His hand flew to cover his mouth, hiding the wide grin breaking across it. His feet were moving as if he was jogging in place. Heeyeon was very, truly excited, and squealing, “Finally! Oh my goodness!” Now he was jumping.

Sunggyu watched dumbfounded for a few seconds. He blinked a few times just to make sure that he wasn’t still imagining things. But no, he wasn’t. And Heeyeon had more energy than Sunggyu had for his entire life.

“Can I…” Heeyeon didn’t quite know how to phrase the question. And ‘take me to the body’ could be very misconstrued by eavesdroppers.

Sunggyu understood and told her, “Follow me, I’ll take you there.”

“Thank you. Thank you very, very, _very _much,” Heeyeon replied and fell into step with Sunggyu. But he still couldn’t help but to skip every other step. He was just too excited. “Oh my goodness!” Normally, Sunggyu would’ve laughed at the other’s over-eagerness, but he was rendered speechless at the moment. This was all too strange.

“I’m sorry. I hadn’t asked for your name. I’m Ahn Heeyeon,” he broke the silence.

Sunggyu found his words again, “Kim Sunggyu.”

“So do you live with Nam Woohyun? You said that my body was with you,” Heeyeon asked. Sunggyu nodded, which left him very confused. “I thought he lived with his mother.”

“I took him in after the switch. He didn’t want to tell his mom,” Sunggyu explained.

Heeyeon let out a huge sigh and placed a hand over his heart. “Oh thank goodness! I was worried that I was looking in the wrong place for him. At times, I thought I was looking for the wrong Nam Woohyun. I had the right one, but he wasn’t where he should be!”

“Yes, Woohyun also doesn’t get out of the house much,” Sunggyu couldn’t match her enthusiasm with his response.

Heeyeon nodded along while Sunggyu answered. “I can understand that. I was the same. I wanted to find him, find my baby, find the witch, but at the same time, I didn’t want to be discovered. Nam Woohyun has a lot of friends. So many friends! Every day someone new was coming up to say ‘hi’ to me,” he whined. That voice sounded more nasally than Sunggyu remembered it being. But he still smiled at what Heeyeon was saying. “For awhile, I thought he was a celebrity.”

“No, Woohyun just really likes talking to people,” Sunggyu told him. He wasn’t surprised at all that Heeyeon had that impression. Woohyun would talk to inanimate objects when there was no one living to talk to. Sunggyu once caught her talking to the saltshaker. But it was like that back in the office too. Some things about Nam Woohyun were consistent.

“I can relate to that, if you couldn’t tell already,” Heeyeon admitted with a nervous smile and Sunggyu nodded in agreement. There was no question in his mind that this was the real Ahn Heeyeon because she filled dead air well like a host and could say ‘oh my goodness’ in so many different ways that it was almost like she was saying different words every time. “So I wasn’t out that much because I didn’t want to ruin his life, but…I lost his job.” Heeyeon had grown very quiet and still after that admission. He was reluctant to admit it too. It seemed like Heeyeon tried to do his best too, in this situation, just like Woohyun.

And honestly, that was a relief to know. Sunggyu felt a little easier around the other.

“Woohyun lost he-his job on his own. Don’t worry about it,” he tried to comfort Heeyeon. But then immediately regretted saying anything at all.

Heeyeon didn’t notice the slip up, and apparently was encouraged enough by Sunggyu’s words to talk again, “I’d gotten him a new one, if he wants it. It’s at my channel as a production assistant. I managed to pull a few strings to get it. It pays well, maybe not as well as his last job…”

“You’ll have to talk it over with Woohyun,” Sunggyu interjected when Heeyeon paused to breathe. He didn’t want to think much about the future, or even five minutes from now when they’d be at his apartment. “We’re almost there.”

“Wow, it’s finally happening. Oh my goodness!” Heeyeon squealed again. His steps were bouncy. If Heeyeon didn’t have to follow Sunggyu there, he probably would’ve run to the apartment. It was all so weird. Seeing Woohyun’s body act like this was seriously weird. Heeyeon then noticed Sunggyu side-eyeing him. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Honestly it didn’t just make Sunggyu feel weird. It made him feel sad. While looking at Heeyeon, at Woohyun’s body, Sunggyu’s heart did nothing. It was still inside of his chest. And his imagination wasn’t to blame this time, but…“I’m sorry. You look like him, but you also don’t look like him,” he still had this one excuse. “It’s crazy. Sorry, but I just can’t stop staring.”

Heeyeon’s hands flew to his cheeks and pinched them. “Did I gain too much weight?” he asked.

“No,” Sunggyu quickly replied. Honestly, Sunggyu wouldn’t even be able to tell you if the cheeks were rounder, but he could tell you that the hairstyle was different. And Woohyun wouldn’t jump around like a wind-up toy or speak in a tone so nasally. But those things were obvious and those weren’t the things that made Sunggyu the most uncomfortable looking at Heeyeon in Woohyun’s body. It was the more subtle things that Sunggyu was still realizing at the moment. Like the way the jaw was set, the way the smile spread across the face, the way the light hit the eyes, it was all different. And Sunggyu didn’t like it.

“This was why I was afraid to go out sometimes. People like you would know that I was a fraud,” Heeyeon spoke with a sign. Even the way he pouted was different. Heeyeon, though, didn’t dwell on their differences for long. He quickly moved onto the one thing they had in common: “How is my baby? You said that she was okay.”

Sunggyu nodded his head until the words came onto his tongue. “We’ve been seeing a doctor regularly. She’s healthy and fully grown,” he replied. “Your body is in good shape too…for birthing, I mean. Wait…”

“Thank you, Sunggyu-ssi,” Heeyeon stopped him before he dug himself into a hole. He then laid a hand on Sunggyu’s should. It felt cold, and while Sunggyu was sure that smile was genuine, it just looked fake to him. “Thank you so much for taking care of us.”

“It was mostly Woohyun’s doing,” Sunggyu spoke almost in monotone but he still tried to keep the smile on his face. But nothing about this made him happy. They were almost there.

“I’ll be sure to thank him when I see him,” Heeyeon, however, was estactic. “Hopefully, he’s not displeased with the shape that his body is in. I tried to take good care of this body too, but I don’t know how well I did.” He then went on to tell Sunggyu of every single one of Woohyun’s pre-existing ailments which ranged from G.I. problems to a nearly frozen joint in his shoulder. “But you probably know that already?”

Actually Sunggyu didn’t. He was reminded again of how little he knew Woohyun before all of this. Did he really know Woohyun at all? Sunggyu was preoccupied with that question as they went up the stairs. He nodded along to everything Heeyeon was saying, pretending as if he was listening. Sunggyu did manage to catch that Heeyeon was living with his younger brother, pretending to be a friend. That made Sunggyu glad that Heeyeon wasn’t alone in this.

But everything else filled him with dread as they walked up to his door. When they got there, Sunggyu asked Heeyeon to wait. “I’ll come and get you,” he promised and quickly darted inside, locking the door behind him, making sure to keep Heeyeon out and hidden.

And he didn’t do it a moment too soon. Woohyun came out of the kitchen, looking slightly peeved. “What took you so long?” she asked.

Sunggyu couldn’t hear the question. His heartbeat was thumping loudly in his ears and his whole body was screaming at him to do one thing. He went over and kissed Woohyun because this might be the last time he could. And Woohyun went along with it, trying to match his urgency and allowing herself to be held onto entirely too tight. Sunggyu didn’t want to let go, to let this go. But also he couldn’t breathe so he had to.

“What was that for?” she asked once he pulled away. She probably thought that things were going to head into a different direction than where they were.

“I found it,” Sunggyu replied breathlessly.

“Found what?”

“Your body.”

Woohyun stiffened. Sunggyu heard something clang onto the floor. Whatever Woohyun had been holding fell onto the floor. “Where is it?”

Sunggyu pressed his forehead against hers for a second and then stepped aside, gesturing towards the door. “It’s right outside the door.”

Woohyun didn’t say anything. Her eyes did linger onto Sunggyu for a second or two as she made her way to the door. Although she got to the door quickly, this moment felt like an eternity to Sunggyu. And he didn’t dare look away, as if Woohyun was going to turn into a puff of smoke as soon as she opened the door rather than what was about to happen.

What happened was this: Woohyun open the door and saw Heeyeon on the other side. After staring at each other, too shocked to move, Woohyun stepped aside to let Heeyeon in. He did, and neither of them stopped staring. Sunggyu couldn’t even imagine what this must be like for them. It wasn’t like staring at your reflection. This was your living, breathing body walking around beyond your control. It was no wonder why the two chatty people could not find a word to say to each other. Not even a simple ‘hello.’

But Heeyeon was the first to speak.

“Can I say ‘hi’?” He gestured down to Bobae.

“Go ahead,” Woohyun swallowed before continuing. Sunggyu heard her voice crack as she said, “I-it’s yours.”

Heeyeon dropped down to his knees, hands cupping either side of the belly. He was smiling the biggest smile, in spite of the tears threatening to spill out. “Hi, honey. It’s me, mommy,” he spoke to the baby. “I’ve missed you so so _so_much. I’m sorry. Mommy’s sorry for going away. But I’m back. Mommy’s back.”

Sunggyu left the room. He couldn’t watch it anymore for crying.

* * *

He stayed in the kitchen and continued making whatever Woohyun had started. It wasn’t going to be any good, but it was edible and it kept him distracted from whatever was going on in the room next door. However, Sunggyu being who he was, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to overhear what they were whispering about in the living. Occasionally, they’d laugh, and it was jarring to hear both of Woohyun’s laughters mix in his ears. There were goosebumps on Sunggyu’s arms that would just not go away.

When Sunggyu was setting the table, Woohyun finally came in to report what happened, but she had to call his name to get his attention. He did a little too good of a job ‘checking out’ so it took him awhile to check back in. When he did, he didn’t like what he heard: “Heeyeon-ssi asked me to come home with her. Her and her husband live near the office.”

“Is that so?” he tried his best to sound calm about it. “Are you going?”

Woohyun nodded and said, “I’ll be back.”

“You have some things to collect, right? But not my clothes, okay?” he attempted to lighten the mood with a joke, to get her to smile. But Woohyun remained stoic.

“Heeyeon-ssi has things for me to wear,” she answered.

“Ah right.” Of course, Heeyeon would. And that wardrobe would probably suit the body better than Sunggyu’s oversized sweatshirts and shorts. But Sunggyu also couldn’t imagine her wearing anything else. “When are you leaving?” he asked.

“She wants to leave soon,” that was the exact opposite of the answer he wanted. “There’s really no reason for us to linger around.”

“What about dinner?” Sunggyu brought up a little too loudly. He then went over to the stove where the pot and pans were still resting. He showed them off and said, “Stay for dinner.”

Woohyun had followed them and looked at the food with a critical eye, but her lips didn’t say anything but, “I’ll ask.” Sunggyu pouted. It seemed like Woohyun wanted to leave with Heeyeon. But why wouldn’t she? She finally found her body and now the two of them could work together to solve this problem. Woohyun didn’t need Sunggyu anymore. She didn’t need his help with the switch or with the baby. And so it would make sense for Sunggyu to be left behind right now, even though he made (a shitty) dinner.

Woohyun looked up from the dishes towards Sunggyu, with a cheeky smile on her face, “Don’t worry, hyung. I’m not going forever,” she leaned in and whispered into his ear. She then pulled away chuckling. “I’m not dying! I’m coming back tomorrow.”

Hearing that, Sunggyu melted and whined, “Then don’t act like you’re leaving forever.”

“It’s fun to tease you,” Woohyun retorted. “I’ll go get Heeyeon-ssi for dinner. It looks like you tried.”

“Yah! What’s that supposed to mean?” Sunggyu shouted but Woohyun just shrugged and waddled out of the room. “You’re no Gordon Ramsey either!”

Dinner continued much like that, moments of seriousness followed by the three of them cracking jokes. And when the two finally left, Sunggyu was exhausted from riding this emotional rollercoaster over and over again. The worst drop of the evening was when Heeyeon brought up that Sunggyu couldn’t come over to the house until things were resolved. It was already going to be hard to explain why Woohyun’s body was living at a newly-wedded couple’s home. If Sunggyu came, that would only invite rumors. So Sunggyu felt left behind again. Heeyeon would be responsible for the baby and for the body. He was obviously better suited for the job.

Before she left, Woohyun promised to come back again but couldn’t give a more specific time than that, not even ‘tomorrow’ as she said earlier. Her and Heeyeon had a lot to do and to go over. There was no saying when she’d come back, if at all. As much as he tried to be happy for the both of them, Sunggyu hated this new situation. And he hated how empty his apartment felt with them gone.

Woohyun did come back, a few days later, with a bag to collect her things and (very bad) news. “My husband is coming home tomorrow,” she tried to turn it into a joke, but it still pierced through Sunggyu’s heart. “It was early than expected. Heeyeon-ssi and I have been scrambling to come up with a plan and put everything in order these last few days.”

“When did you find out?” he asked.

“The first morning that I was there.”

“Woohyun,” Sunggyu spoked through gritted teeth. “We’ve been texting each other every day. You didn’t think to tell me?”

“I thought!” she defended herself. “But I also didn’t want you to nag me constantly to come over when I couldn’t.” Sunggyu couldn’t say anything in response because he knew it’d be true. Was it so wrong to ask that of her? “Speaking of nagging, we can’t call or text anymore when Kiheung-oppa comes home. He might get suspicious.”

“Oppa?!” Sunggyu repeated with a scoff. “Kiheung-oppa? You still call Ahn Heeyeon ‘Heeyeon-ssi’ but he’s ‘oppa’?”

“It’s what she calls him, and I’m trying to make it a habit,” Woohyun clarified. “Don’t be a jerk. I’m trying my best, _hyung_.” She picked up the bad and sulked off into the bedroom grumbling, “Acting like I never called you anything special…”

Sunggyu groaned when he saw the door slam behind her. He was being a jerk. Yes, he was caught off guard. But if this was really the last time that they were going to see each other, Sunggyu should try his best to, his best to be nice and to make her happy, even though he felt mean and depressed now. So he came into the bedroom with a fake-ass smile plastered across his face, to see Woohyun packing several of his clothes into the bag along with her things, just out of spite. She even shamelessly stared at him as she stuffed his favorite sweatshirt into the bag. The smile then became real.

Sunggyu picked up a book of hers that was on the nightstand and asked, “So how’s it been living with Heeyeon-ssi? Is she taking you to a new doctor? Or are you still going to see Bora? Did she tell you about the job she got for you? Does she know about Ran Woong? Do you find this reporter guy, I don’t know, sorta handsome? He’s pretty average if you ask me, but I’m asking you so do you?”

Woohyun’s face thawed and she grinned. “Slow down, hyung. I can only answer one question at a time. Ask me just one question. One,” she emphasized, putting up a finger in the air.

Sunggyu settled on this one: “So…did you miss me?”

“Everyday.”

Woohyun was later able to answer all of his other questions too. Living with Heeyeon was better than expected. Woohyun described it as like living with your identical twin, seeing your living reflection, and knowing someone else at a completely different level. The two of them were very comfortable talking about everything and did spend most of their time talking. Heeyeon admitted to resenting his life before the switch. He had tried to keep the pregnancy a secret for fear that it would ruin his image. The pregnancy wasn’t planned, and it happened before the wedding. If any of his viewers did the math, it might equal something disastrous for his career. It was also so early in his career too. With the maternity leave and child-rearing, Heeyeon’s career had to be put on hold for awhile, not by choice. Whereas Kim Kiheung was able to go off to China, during the third trimester, and continue his career as normal. Heeyeon didn’t see it as fair or right. This baby was ruining his life, in Heeyeon’s mind. Without it, Heeyeon would still be working, be more successful, travel with Kiheung, and not need to sit in that damn subway seat that caused this mess.

But when Heeyeon ‘lost’ the baby and his former life, he was besides himself, crying every night. Being a man, who was more encouraged to build his career, who couldn’t get pregnant, it wasn’t what Heeyeon thought it would be. There were new societal pressures that he buckled under. He didn’t act ‘manly.’ He didn’t have ‘manly’ interests. His new job wasn’t ‘manly’ and how dare he think that he could support a family with such a low-paying job. First the pay wasn’t that low and a woman could support a family just as well as a man, Heeyeon would argue, but then he was told it wasn’t ‘manly’ to rely on a wife. Nothing was good enough.

The thing is, no matter the gender, life can be hard, and it always seems like it would be easier to live as someone else. To Heeyeon, Woohyun’s life seemed easy, privileged. Soon the opposite proved to be true. Woohyun had struggled through life just like everyone else. At a young age, Woohyun’s parents divorced, which is never easy for anyone involved. Later in life, most of Woohyun’s school was deemed unimportant for most employers, although it gave its students a well-rounded education and was reasonably priced. It still wasn’t elite. Rejection after rejection came because of it. So getting a job at that company had been the biggest stroke of luck that Woohyun ever had. Now it was gone. And things were going to be hard for Woohyun again.

Heeyeon learned all of this after finding out Woohyun’s name. And he also learned that it wasn’t the life he wanted. In fact, he wanted nothing more than to regain his old life back. That life became more and more appealing the more time passed. And his heart ached for it all, especially the child.

It’s better to bring about the change in your own life, whether the change is in perspective or in situation, than to wish to be a completely different person. Heeyeon needed a new perspective and Woohyun needed a change in situation. Now the both of them now had a greater appreciation for life, especially their own.

Sunggyu could easily see all of this as Woohyun spoke, but he didn’t see which change he needed in his own life right now because he often found himself wishing to be a completely different person, namely Kim Kiheung.

“So I won’t see you again until after the switch back, which should be soon,” Woohyun said as she walked towards the front door. Sunggyu was carrying the bag that was filled to the brim. They both knew that the bag was more of an excuse to come over. They filled it with random things, and they had to do it quickly too. Heeyeon was already downstairs to pick Woohyun up, and they’d spent most of the time talking. Sunggyu regretted not being able to do more. As Woohyun said, this was most likely the last time before the switch back. This could be the last time he see Woohyun as a woman. His last time with ‘Ran Woong’ and that whole fictional life that they built.

Sunggyu hovered in front of the door, running his options through his head as he watched Woohyun slide into her slippers. She kept talking, “In any case, I’ll be at the hospital when the baby is born. You’re welcome to come too. Heeyeon-ssi said it would be okay.”

“I’ll be there,” Sunggyu promised.

“Good,” Woohyun replied, smiling up at him. That was the answer she wanted. “And if we don’t switch back after the baby is born, we’re going to tell Kiheung-oppa, but I’m hoping that the switch will happen before that. I don’t want to give birth,” she chuckled after that.

“If you don’t switch back and you tell him, what then?” Sunggyu pressed and clutched tightly onto his bag. His true question wasn’t as veiled as he thought it was: What about me?

“I don’t know. I don’t think it will happen. We’ll just have to wait and see,” Woohyun answered as honestly as she could. “We’d probably tell our families. And…”

“He might want a divorce,” Sunggyu interjected with the horribly yet hopeful thought. Woohyun appeared skeptical. “Maybe?” now he was sounding like he was begging.

“Maybe,” she allowed it. “I can take the bag now.”

Sunggyu didn’t hand it over. Instead he put the bag down and took her into his arms. She hugged him right back, her hands patting his back as if to comfort him. “Woohyun, it’s going to be weird without you,” Sunggyu admitted. “Are you sure you can’t call? Maybe we could meet somewhere, hm? I’ll treat you.”

“You’re acting as if I’m enlisting,” she joked, giggling.

Sunggyu pulled away a bit, but still held onto her. “I think I might prefer that you did,” he confessed.

Woohyun brought her hands to his face, holding it as if it were precious. “I’ll miss you too. And when I can, I’ll let you know what’s going on,” she promise.

“Thank you,” it was a relief to hear.

She pressed a soft yet lingering kiss on his lips and whispered against them “Goodbye, hyung.”

Sunggyu let go and handed her the bag. “Goodbye,” he could barely bring himself to say it but he had to before the door closed behind Woohyun. And now she was gone, possibly forever.

Possibly. There was a chance. Sunggyu didn’t know how big it was. It could be less than one percent, but there was still a chance that things could work out the way that Sunggyu wanted them to. And Kim Sunggyu was selfish enough to capitalize on it. He opened the door and ran after her.

“Woohyun-ah! Woohyun!” Sunggyu didn’t have to call her name so loudly or run so fast. Woohyun was still waiting for the elevator to arrive and was astounded to see Sunggyu hurtle towards her. When he got there, the kiss he gave wasn’t soft. He hurriedly and roughly pressed his lips against hers. Eventually he was able to rein it in, soften it, try to make it enjoyable for Woohyun rather than try to bruise her lips. So he kissed her again, gentle as a whisper and then said, “I.. I love you.”

Ding! The elevator came. Woohyun pulled herself away and picked up the bag again.

“Take care of yourself, hyung.”

And then she was gone.

* * *

Living with Heeyeon was honestly enjoyable. Woohyun wasn’t lying when she said it was like living with a twin. It was honestly like meeting her other half, and in many ways, she was. And like identical twins that you watch in movies and dramas, Woohyun was able to make Heeyeon do things that she didn’t want to do. Heeyeon went to the office and cleaned up her old desk. He had been doing that while Woohyun was at Sunggyu’s place. Furthermore, Heeyeon even told her mother that she’d been fired but also has a new job. It was easier for Heeyeon to say anyway. It wasn’t his mother to let down. Heeyeon said that her mother took it alright. She just wanted her son to be happy. And Woohyun had been these past few months, but she was also living a fantasy life. Reality was bearing down on them, and it arrived when Kim Kiheung landed the next day.

Somehow they were able to convince Kiheung that Heeyeon was a family friend who had been taking his wife to appointments in his stead. Undiscussed beforehand, Heeyeon said he was gay and had nowhere else to live after being turned away from home. That hit too close to Woohyun, and it caused a small grievance between them for a while. But it was also effective. Kiheung invited Heeyeon to stay with them for as long as he needed.

Having Heeyeon there was a blessing and a curse for Woohyun. She knew what to say and how to act around Kiheung with his help, but also it pained her every time to see the sadness on Heeyeon’s face whenever Kiheung’s affections was focused on her. It wasn’t like Woohyun wanted it. It honestly made her skin crawl at times, but she had to accept it.

It was a weird shift for Woohyun, pretending to be a wife versus pretending to be someone’s wife. She much preferred to be the former than the latter. Woohyun would like to say that the latter was more painful for everyone involved, but she had no idea how the former situation would turn out yet.

In any case, with each passing say, Woohyun was very eager to switch back into her old body.

And then it happened.

Nam Woohyun went into labor.

* * *

As much as she prepared for the moment, Woohyun was far from ready when the contractions started. It was really happening. Bobae was really coming. And Woohyun was really delivering her. This came as a shock to both Woohyun and Heeyeon. And this whole situation made the both of them anxious, especially when Heeyeon was moved out of the room and by the nurses by the ‘family only’ policy. And Woohyun was left alone with Kiheung for hours as the time between contractions very gradually shortened. It was painful in every aspect of the word. The pain-coping techniques worked, but not nearly as well as pain killers. Eventually, Woohyun gave in and took the epidural.

Everything wasn’t going as planned. But it didn’t matter. Bobae was coming however she wanted to and when she wanted to. And now seemed to be the time. Woohyun was told to get ready to push. And she pushed with all her might, again and again and again…

* * *

Sunggyu had been waiting for his call all week. His phone was always out and within eyesight. And his eyes couldn’t stray away from it. People at his workplace caught on quickly. “She’s gonna pop any moment now, isn’t she?” Sungyeol put very elegantly. “Good luck, bud.” Yes, as far as Sunggyu knew, Woohyun was the one who was pregnant. They hadn’t switched back. It was _very _possible that Woohyun would be the one to deliver the baby. And if that happened, maybe everything else Sunggyu wanted would happen too.

His hopes grew higher when he saw Heeyeon’s name flash across the screen. Sunggyu picked up the phone and heard the words he’d been waiting all week to hear: “Woohyun’s in labor.”

When Sunggyu arrived at the hospital, Heeyeon was there with his brother. They were introduced awkwardly to each other and commiserated a bit about being caretakers for the body-switchers. Although things got even more awkward when the brother tried to probe further into the nature of Sunggyu and Woohyun’s relationship. Heeyeon eventually snapped at him, “They’re _just _friends from work. Leave him alone and go check on Woohyun, okay?”

“Again, noona?” the brother asked. Unlike Heeyeon, the brother was considered ‘family’ and was allowed into the room. Sunggyu could only imagine how many times he was asked to check in on the room. But the brother gave in, after a nasty glare from Heeyeon, and went to go into the room.

Heeyeon was incredibly anxious. He was in and out of his seat, pacing the room. Occasionally, he’d look down the hall and search for his brother who only left a bit before. And for once, Heeyeon didn’t want to talk to anybody. He just wanted to be there in that room, but was relegated out here with the rest of the rejects, Sunggyu included.

And Sunggyu could relate. He was anxious too. His mind kept going back to all of the things he practiced with Woohyun, the classes that they attended. He wanted to be in that room as much as Heeyeon did and help Woohyun through this process. But Sunggyu couldn’t. And Woohyun had Kiheung-_oppa _there to help her.

Sunggyu groaned out of frustration and looked over at Heeyeon, who was standing on his tiptoes, searching for any sign of his brother. Sunggyu wondered if the feeling he had for Kiheung, Heeyeon had for Woohyun at this moment: envy. Possibly.

Speaking of possibly, Sunggyu was still holding onto his less than one percent chance. He got up from his seat and went over to the gift shop. He wanted to buy his girls something just in case ‘possibly’ became ‘reality.’ Actually, it would also be fine with Sunggyu if Heeyeon kept Bobae. After a while, Sunggyu and Woohyun could try to have one of their own. That would be better anyway. That way the baby would truly be theirs.

These selfish thoughts were running through his mind as Sunggyu purchased the gifts. And the anxiety was morphing into excitement. Sunggyu peered into the bag, checking up on the gifts and smiling to himself, unable to contain the excitement any longer. It was happening. After three months, it was finally happening.

“Sunggyu…hyu-hyung?” What? Heeyeon had never called him ‘hyung’ before. Sunggyu looked up. Heeyeon was standing in the middle of the waiting room again but not straight. He was teetering, swaying back and forth like a reed in the wind.

“Hee-heeyeon-ssi?”

“I can’t…” Heeyeon’s eyes rolled backwards as he fell onto the floor. The back of his head slamming against the ground with a loud ‘thud.’

“Oh fuck!”

* * *

One last push. Woohyun was told that she just needed to give one last good push. And like always, Woohyun did her best. Her best finally paid off. Bobae was here. And Woohyun was the one to make it happen!

She had to see her, but for the first time, Bobae was too far away from her and in the arms of other people. Woohyun propped herself up to look for Bobae. “Is she okay?” she croaked.

But Woohyun didn’t get an answer. Everything went black. Then incredibly white. When he was able to focus again. Woohyun saw Sunggyu walking towards him and dumbly smiling at whatever was in the bag he was holding. Woohyun hadn’t seen his face in so long and the room was so incredibly white that Woohyun thought he died in labor. “Hyu-hyung?” Sunggyu looked up at him. Their gazes met.

First the edges of the room greyed before everything went black again, blotting out Sunggyu’s face.

A bright light led Woohyun back into the delivery room. The doctors were at the end of the bed, fussing with something. Woohyun looked over and saw Kiheung staring at the doctors, appearing worried. Woohyun tried to prop herself even higher in order to get a better look. But she couldn’t. Her body felt heavier than before. Then her vision doubled. New, foreign thoughts infiltrated her mind. It was irritating. Woohyun couldn’t focus. She couldn’t figure out what was going on. And she still could see Bobae.

“I can’t…”

She passed out right there on the bed.

* * *

Woohyun came to again but nearly an hour later this time. He was in a hospital bed, hooked up to an I.V. Woohyun followed the line from the drip to his hand, with his short and knobby fingers. He was in his own body again. He could sense the change now. And it felt oddly unfamiliar after being away for months. But Woohyun couldn’t focus on that for long. There was an old woman at the end of his bed. She was dressed in nurse’s clothes, but they were from another era. She smiled at Woohyun, clapped, and then walked out of the room. It wasn’t until she left when Woohyun recognized that she was the witch. And she came to see him just to say he did well.

Woohyun didn’t know how to feel about that. Okay, that was a lie. He knew exactly how to feel about the witch. He was angry at her. He was royally pissed off. The witch wouldn’t even let him have the satisfaction of holding the child. He just went through all of that pain for nothing. For absolutely nothing.

“Woo-woohyun? Is that you?”

Sunggyu was standing in the doorway. The witch had just passed him by, and he didn’t even notice the odd woman in even odder clothes. His eyes were on Woohyun.

Woohyun nodded and then quickly asked, propping himself up, “How is she?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t in the room, remember?” Sunggyu answered with an apologetic smile. He came into the room, put his bag on a table nearby, and sat down next to the bed. “But how’s your head? It hit the ground pretty hard, when Hee…uh, you fainted.”

“My head?” Woohyun repeated. His hand instinctively went to touch the back of his head. “Ah, owie!” he whimpered. It was completely tender to the touch and now Woohyun realized that, yes, his head was throbbing.

Sunggyu chuckled a bit. “How is it? Can I see it?” Even though he asked, Sunggyu was already looking at it. He had to push Woohyun slightly forward to do so. And just like with everything related to his body, Woohyun was extremely conscious of his touch. How light and fleeting it was.

“How is it?” Woohyun asked when Sunggyu retracted his hand.

“I don’t know. I can’t see anything,” he admitted.

Can’t see. Woohyun was reminded of his frustration from earlier. “Do you think we can go and see her?” he asked the other. It also frustrated too that he couldn’t bring himself to say ‘Bobae,’ but he didn’t have to. Sunggyu got it.

“I don’t know,” Sunggyu replied.

So Woohyun asked him a question that he could answer: “What’s in the bag?” he recognized it from that weird vision he had earlier. Or was it really a vision? Did it actually happen? Woohyun couldn’t say for sure. Heck, he wasn’t even sure about his own body anymore.

“Um, it’s a beanie for…the baby.” Good, Sunggyu couldn’t say it either. “It’s stupid. It’s from the gift shop here. The selection isn’t great,” he was talking quickly now. “I also bought a bracelet for whoever delivered the baby, which I guess would be you. But we’d been waiting there for hours, and it could’ve switched at any moment. But it was _you_! Good job, you! I knew you could do it. We’d, we had practiced it. And you did it! So, uh, do you want it?”

Woohyun took the bag and the small box from it. “I got an epidural,” he confessed as he even struggled to open the box right now. It had been taped shut. He admitted defeat. “I couldn’t do it.”

“Well, you tried your best, and a lot of people end up getting those. Not just you,” Sunggyu muttered a reply and took the box from him and tore the tape off. “Here.” He removed the lid and showed the bracelet off to Woohyun “Do you want it?”

It was just a plain, thick, silver chain. It probably was supposed to be sold as the start of a charm bracelet. But Sunggyu bought it as it was without adding anything to it. And as he said before, in the hospital gift shop, there wasn’t much of a selection. This was probably the ‘manliest’ piece of jewelry that he could find.

Woohyun took it out of the box and held it in his fist. “Yeah, I want it,” he mumbled, barely moving his lips. “I want something out of this.”

“Do you want me to put it on for you?”

“No.”

“Oh okay. Yeah, you can do it on your own, I guess.”

They were running out of things to say to each other. And Woohyun wasn’t helping the situation at all. But his frustration kept growing more and more. He hadn’t seen the child yet. His head hurt like Hell through no fault of his own. And Sunggyu couldn’t look him in the eye for longer than a second. It was all just really annoying.

He had to get out of there.

But he couldn’t. Soon the doctor was ushered into the room to run some check-ups on Woohyun and go over some possible reasons for him fainting. All of them wrong, of course. But the doctor practiced medicine and not magic. Woohyun was just glad to be given a few pain killers and the ‘okay’ to leave.

He wasn’t going to leave the hospital though. He had one last thing to do. But he was in the completely wrong ward for it and didn’t know how to get to the right one. Then magically, they ran into Heeyeon’s brother, who had been looking for them. “There you guys are! I forgot what room noona was sent to. How’s the head?” he asked Woohyun, who murmured that it was alright. And that’s when the brother said what he’d been wanting to hear since he’d woken up: “Come on, noona wants to introduce you to someone.”

* * *

Woohyun had a plan. It was simple, just the one step: he was going to steal the baby. There really wasn’t much more to his plan than that and that was because he felt like he had the right to the child. He’d given birth to it. It was his, fair and square.

However, his plan hit a hiccough very early, which was that he wasn’t left alone with the baby. The ‘parents’ were there, of course. The brother was too, and Sunggyu. Woohyun had half a mind to make Sunggyu an accomplice in all of this and wanted to tell him to prepare a getaway car. But given how poorly the two men were talking to each other, it was better to give up on that plot. So Nam Woohyun was on his own in this.

After exchanging pleasantries, Heeyeon offered Woohyun to hold the child first, but he gave that opportunity to Sunggyu. After all, Woohyun was planning on leaving with the baby and not coming back. So Sunggyu could hold her the once before he left.

Woohyun was glad he did just to see the way Sunggyu’s face lit up when he held and talked to the baby. Sunggyu would’ve been a good father. No, he would be. Woohyun knew that Sunggyu would have his opportunity to be one in the future. Just probably not with him.

That was okay though. Woohyun was going to be the father to _this_child. And his chance was coming soon. Sunggyu brought the baby over and put her into his arms. And things felt comfortable again. Woohyun hadn’t been apart from this precious little thing for three months and it literally felt horrible to part from it, not just physically but emotionally too. This was what he felt like his body was missing when he woke up in that bed. This was all he needed. Woohyun was about to turn around and walk out of the door, but then…

“What’s her name?” Sunggyu asked Heeyeon.

“Yuhee!” Heeyeon answered proudly. “Kim Yunhee.”

Woohyun stopped and looked back down at the child in his arms. This wasn’t his Bobae. Even as a newborn, she didn’t look like him. She looked more like all of the other people in the room, everyone but him. “Kim Yunhee,” Woohyun repeated her name softly. And then she began crying.

“She probably needs her mother,” Kiheung said and outstretched his arms towards Woohyun, ready to receive the baby. And Kim Kiheung had no idea how deeply this cut Woohyun.

So Woohyun handed the child over and walked out of the room without saying anything to anyone.

He wasn’t the only one to leave the room at that time. Woohyun heard footsteps following him down the hall. He didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. And soon the man was walking by his side. “So what now?” Sunggyu asked. Woohyun bit his lip, trying his best not to scoff. Was Sunggyu really asking what should they do, together? No, Woohyun really didn’t want to be ‘together’ right now. He’s had enough for the day.

“For now,” Woohyun started. “I want to be alone.”

“Alone?”

Woohyun nodded sharply. “I need to be alone and…register everything,” he put as well as he could. His brain was tired and still throbbing. It might take him a few days to ‘register’ anything, or possibly even years. He’d gone through a lot.

“Oh yeah, you should do that, I guess,” Sunggyu stumbled through his words, as he had been doing all day. Woohyun sighed and looked over at him. There was a good few feet between them. Sunggyu’s hands were stuffed deeply into his pockets. So while he was stumbling through his words, Sunggyu’s body language spoke clearly enough for himself.

Yeah, Woohyun had to go. “Thank you for everything, hyung,” he told the other and walked away.

“Woohyun,” Sunggyu called out to him. Woohyun turned around to hear full well what the other had to say, which was: “Take care of yourself.” And this was coming from the man who professed his love to Woohyun and who, even though he hadn’t say it, wanted to marry Woohyun as a woman. And now that Woohyun was a man again, it was ‘take care of yourself.’

This was why Woohyun refused to tell Sunggyu that he loved him earlier. He fought hard against himself not to, to swallow those words down. It was because Woohyun wasn’t sure if their love was unconditional or with conditions. It was conditional, it seemed. And Sunggyu wasn’t the only one with conditions.

And so it had to be like this: “You too, hyung. Take care of yourself.”

Woohyun knew exactly how to change his life to make himself happy again and happy for real and not just for a few, fleeting months. He already had a start with the new career path, thanks to Heeyeon. Also thanks to Heeyeon, he realized the other change that he needed: he wanted to start a family.

But that change, Woohyun was really starting to doubt if he could ever have it. And he doubted if he could ever really be happy with his life. However, the life he had now was his own. And he could be content with that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split the end into two parts because I just kept adding so many things!

**Sungyeol:**Woohyun! You’ll never believe it! Guess what happened!

**Sungyeol:**Come on, guess!

**Sungyeol:**Come on, show me that you’re alive!

**Woohyun:**.

**Sungyeol:**You’re an ass.

**Sungyeol:**ANYWAY!!! Kim Sunggyu’s wife left him!!!! AND she took the baby with her!!!!

**Sungyeol:**I knew she was weird. I just got that vibe from her.

**Sungyeol:**Apparently, she was from North Korea and went back? Can you even do that?

**Sungyeol:**Wait! What if they caught her, and she was brought back? She’ll probably face serious charges for fleeing.

**Sungyeol:**She might even die. The kid too.

**Sungyeol:**No wonder why he’s so bummed out. His wife and child are dead. That sucks.

**Sungyeol:**Do you think our company would make a movie about this? I think it’d do really well.

**Sungyeol:**They have galbi in the cafeteria today.

(the next day) **Woohyun:**Any news about Kim Sunggyu and his wife?

**Sungyeol:**He’s alive!

**Sungyeol:**Eung, I’ll tell you over drinks tonight.

* * *

Woohyun stared at his phone as he watched Sungyeol’s texts roll in. He should’ve known that Sungyeol wouldn’t give him the information that easily. It had been three and a half months since he’d said an actual word to Sungyeol, and yet at the same time, Lee Sungyeol was one of the very few people that Woohyun was in communication with during the switch. There was a reason for that, and a reason why Sungyeol was so faithful in texting him.

They met in college, when they were just classmates who hung out occasionally. They weren’t best or even close friends back then. Other people filled that role. But because of that, because they were friends but not too friendly, Sungyeol ended up being the first person that Woohyun came out to. The stakes with Sungyeol were low and yet Woohyun felt comfortable with him. Although Woohyun immediately regretted it moments later. He didn’t know Lee Sungyeol well enough to know that the man would continuously ask probing questions about his sexuality out of curiosity. However many, many moments later, Woohyun was glad that he did. Sungyeol never put him into a precarious situation and helped him out of many. Lee Sungyeol was loyal like that.

After college, they drifted apart, as casual friends often do. So it was a very pleasant surprise that, several years later, when on the first day of work, Woohyun saw that familiar face standing next to him in the line-up of new recruits for the shiny, new Seoul headquarters for their company.

They caught up quickly and soon became each other’s allies in the battlefield of business and each other’s stress relief during a long day at work. This made them closer than they had been in college. And they were often referred to as ‘best friends’ by their fellow coworkers, which was new to the both of them. They had no idea how their relationship was coming off to others, and so they accepted their newly dubbed ‘best friends’ status and acted like them all the more.

So all of this history between them probably begs the question: why didn’t Woohyun just go to Sungyeol for help during the switch? Why didn’t Woohyun talk to him?

Woohyun did have his reasons. Sungyeol would ask a lot of questions. Sungyeol would take things too far. Sungyeol would accidentally let the truth slip out of those freaking honest lips of his. Sungyeol…well, it would be easy to blame him for everything. But if Sungyeol was really to blame, then Woohyun wouldn’t have always felt guilty for not telling him.

Some of the major reasons why Woohyun didn’t tell Sungyeol was that Woohyun was offered an escape from his life and he took it, leaving his friend behind. Another reason? When by complete happenstance, or by an act of Fate, Woohyun met that man at the restaurant that night, he thought he had his solution. He _wanted _that man to be his solution. And Sungyeol was left out of the equation.

Now the ‘problem’ had been resolved for two weeks. Woohyun switched back. He was living his own life again. However, that life had completely changed. He lost his job, started a new career, and had “Baby Blues,” or at least that’s what Google told him that he had. Woohyun was experiencing sudden mood swings, including random spurts of crying. He couldn’t concentrate as well as he used to. People had to repeat things to him very often. As a result, people at his new workplace always remarked how ‘his head was in the clouds.’ And it was in a sense. He wasn’t having these lofty thoughts. He wasn’t daydreaming. His mind was literally cloudy, a dark grey cloudy sky. That cloudiness also affected his eating habits, sleeping habits, interests in doing anything, interests in living. And so he gradually withdrew into himself.

Woohyun went to work and he came home. That was his life for the past two weeks. Of course this worried his mother, and he thought about telling her the entire truth, especially since she might understand what he was going through. She might’ve had “Baby Blues” too. However, he gave up on that notion very quickly. It was all too weird. The truth was too unbelievable. So he kept his mouth shut and promised that he’d go see a doctor…which he hadn’t done yet. No, instead he went and bleached his entire head as if that would really lighten the gloomy grey thoughts in his mind. And it was a step further from the normalcy that he wanted to return to.

However, meeting again with Sungyeol, that might be the first step on the path to recovery, or at least the first step outside of his house that lead somewhere other than work or the salon. So while he recoiled at the idea at first, Woohyun went out that night to drink with his old friend.

However, once again, he had several reasons for going. ‘An attempt at acting normal’ was a major one, so was ‘a good reason to drink.’ But then there was curiosity. Woohyun was very curious to hear what Sungyeol had to say. It was the first time in a while that something maintained Woohyun’s interest for a sustained amount of time. He became fixated on it so much so that he finally broke his silence after months and months. Why? Apart from talking about how they’d raise the child, Woohyun and Sunggyu rarely talked about the future. Which meant that they never came up with an exit strategy for Sunggyu after the switch back.

And the bastard just decided to kill Ran Woong, all on his own! And while Woohyun acknowledge that it was probably the only way that Sunggyu could explain things. It didn’t sit well with Woohyun at all. And ever since he had heard of his alter ego’s death, Woohyun’s cloudy mind now was accompanied by a hailstorm of questions.

Hopefully, meeting with Sungyeol to night would clear it up. And actually Sungyeol’s bright and sunny smile aimed at him, brightened up his mood.

No one (except his mother) had been that happy to see him in a long while. And it made Woohyun smile too, the best he could.

“Look at you! Who are you? I haven’t seen you in 100 years. Your hair even turned white since the last I saw you,” Sungyeol joked as the other approached him at the bar.

“It’s blonde. Are you color blind?” Woohyun replied with a light chuckle. Sungyeol just shrugged, drank from his beer, and pulled out a chair for his friend. Woohyun took the seat and patted the other on the back. “Good to see you again, Sungyeol.” He then ordered a strong drink for himself. He was already starting to feel overwhelmed, tense, and just generally anxious. It had been over three months since they last talked. Of course the first thing his friend would genuinely ask was some form of ‘where the Hell have you been?’

“What the Hell happened to you, man? Did you get abducted? Recalled into the army?” Sungyeol then gasped after thinking up a new scenario. “Were you a spy for Hulu?”

Woohyun shook his head and the smile quivered on his face. “I doubt you would believe me if I told you,” he mumbled and then took a good, long drink.

“Try me.” Woohyun looked over at the other, and Sungyeol was now facing him. The man was serious and his gaze was steady. Woohyun swished the drink a bit in his mouth as he thought it over. This friend was the first person that Woohyun had come out to. Sungyeol had that expression back then too, serious and attentive. So Woohyun decided to fuck it and tell him.

“I’ve been living the last three months as a pregnant woman.”

“Stop bullshitting and tell me the truth,” Sungyeol whined in response. His strong expression crumbled with impatience.

Woohyun winced and took another sip as he decided what lie to go with. “I hit a mid-life crisis in my early thirties,” that was more believable, just like Ran Woong dying.

“I can see that,” Sungyeol was satisfied with that answer. But he still had some questions for Woohyun: “So is that why you ghosted?”

“I needed a change in my life,” Woohyun replied, honestly. He spun towards Sungyeol and bragged, “I work for a tv channel now.”

“Which one?”

“The home-shopping network.” Sungyeol seemed disappointed at that, probably expecting a larger public channel like KBS or a reputable cable channel like TVN, something more worthy of leaving his old job for. But Woohyun genuinely liked his new job. It was an entirely new challenge, yet a familiar one. He liked his coworkers. And he liked how it was his _job_and not his life. It was healthier for him, and it also promised some opportunities that he would’ve never had at his old job, like: “They might even make me a host alongside of Ahn Heeyeon.”

Sungyeol frowned. “Who’s she?”

“The top host for home-shopping, don’t you know?” Woohyun boasted.

His friend shook his head. “I’m not really in their demographic. I’m 30 years too young,” Sungyeol joked. A broad grin then broke out on his face and he slapped his knee when he thought of: “Oh, is that why you dyed your hair? So that appeal to your audience?”

Woohyun chuckled along with him. “Something like that.”

“Something like you felt like you were losing control of your life and nothing seemed to be going right and you didn’t feel like yourself. So you dye your hair some crazy color thinking ‘ah this is the new me.’ But afterwards you’re still the old you but with a burnt scalp.” It was amazing that Sungyeol could say such depressing things with that goofy grin on his face. Woohyun frowned and looked away. Sungyeol chuckled at that reaction. “You remember when I dyed my hair red when we were applying for jobs?”

“That was a dumb idea,” Woohyun grumbled out a retort. Back then Sungyeol didn’t dye his hair a subtle red but a brilliant and outrageous red. He looked like he dipped his head in gochujang, and in his interviews, he acted as if it was normal and didn’t acknowledge it.

“I thought it would make me stand out,” Sungyeol defended himself. “And I was going through a crisis back then. So what’s your crisis?”

Woohyun glanced over at the other, while his fingers were playing with his glass. He had already tried to tell Sungyeol once and failed. Should he even try again? Or should he continue speaking in half-truths? Woohyun went with the latter: “I met someone.”

“Not this old story!” Sungyeol interrupted, tossing his head back as he lamented. He then quickly gathered himself and scooted his barstool closer to his friend so that they could discuss it more privately. “Come on, tell me his name,” he whispered. But Woohyun shook his head. Sungyeol, of course, kept insisting and tapped the other lightly. “Come on, cough it up.” Still no reply but a very small shake of his head. Sungyeol’s demeanor completely changed. He was on edge. “Woohyun, you’re scaring me. You look like you’re about to cry. Who was this person? Why can’t you tell me?” he asked.

“I want to tell you, but you won’t believe me,” Woohyun mumbled. “You _didn’t _believe me.”

“I’ll believe you. You’re a handsome guy, and you’re nice enough. You could get any guy,” Sungyeol insisted. “I’ll even believe if you told me it was Hong Sukchun or….Kim Jong Un. Or even an alien!” He managed to crack a smile on the other’s face with those lame jokes, so Sungyeol tried again, “So who was it?”

“Kim Sunggyu.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Sungyeol’s tone was completely different from when he jokingly told Woohyun to ‘stop bullshitting’ earlier. He was dumbfounded, and he was starting to believe.

“Like I said, I spent the last three months as a pregnant woman.”

Sungyeol’s mouth hung open and his eyes darted everywhere, as he was mentally putting things together. “AH!” He did it. He could see everything clearly now. “I knew there was something weird about that woman! I knew it! It was you!” Sungyeol exclaimed, pointing his finger at the other. His eyes were bugging out. “You! You winked at me when you introduced yourself!” Woohyun was laughing now, both because Sungyeol’s reaction was hilarious and out of relief. The man groaned and slumped over the bar, his head turned towards the other as he continued, “I was freaking out, thinking that you were into me. I had half the mind to tell him…Oh fuck!” With that he hid his face in his arms. Woohyun was laughing so much that his sides were hurting now, and he was slapping Sungyeol on the back, trying to get him to sit back up. And when Sungyeol finally did, he did what he did best and that was to ask questions: “What? How? How do you even become a pregnant woman?”

* * *

Woohyun had a few videos on his phone that were taken during the switch. He never saved them onto his phone, but they were sent in a chatroom with Sunggyu (which had sicne been inactive). It was a game that they used to have back then, to take candid and compromising videos of each other. How or why it started, who knew. It was just a fun thing to do. And like with many things, Woohyun never really considered what his future would be like with these videos on his phone. What should he do with them now?

Woohyun had tried to watch them since the switch back, once or twice before. More often he would look at the thumbnails to remind himself that those times did, in fact, happen. He’d think about watching them. He’d try to. But he’d quickly close out of the video once the audio started playing. Looking at the thumbnails was one thing, but to hear himself talk in Heeyeon’s voice and to hear himself talk to…it was too much.

It was already hard for him to have his phone in Sungyeol’s hands. Sungyeol kept replaying a short clip of Sunggyu saying ‘Woohyun-ah, stop.’ Woohyun wasn’t watching the clip with him, but he could recall it well. He had been filming Sunggyu who he found asleep and snoring on kitchen table after claiming that he was ‘just going to rest his eyes for a second’ while Woohyun was making dinner, tonkatsu and fried rice. The image came to him easily as if it happened yesterday.

“There’s more than just that one,” Woohyun remarked after hearing his name being called out for the tenth time.

Sungyeol took the hint and closed out of the video. “I know, but…” he didn’t know how to finish that and handed the phone back to the other. He was dazed now more than ever, after hearing Woohyun’s story and seeing a few videos. And the first thing he had to say about it all was, “Shit, I was right. Our company should make a movie about this. The plot twists keep coming.”

Woohyun frowned at that. “Well, they end here,” he declared. “Everything is over.”

“Are you sure?” Sungyeol asked. Woohyun glanced over at the other, and wow, it kinda scared him to see Sungyeol look that hopeful. Sungyeol then leaned closer to the other. “Have you talked to him?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not even sure that I like him. I mean _really _like him,” Woohyun spoke a little too loudly and sharply. He was aggravated with Sungyeol. Unlike Sungyeol, Woohyun didn’t think he could afford to hope. Woohyun could barely make up his mind if he _wanted _to hope. He was having a difficult time being interested in anything right now, let alone being interested in a relationship, or in Sunggyu for that matter. Things were very different now. But judging by the look on Sungyeol’s face, he couldn’t understand. So Woohyun tried to explain it to him: “Remember when you first started college and you were still dating your girlfriend in high school, but then you two broke up because, well, you weren’t in high school anymore. It’s like that.”

Sungyeol shook his head through the entire explanation. “No, I broke up with her because she cheated on me,” he argued when Woohyun was done.

“She broke up with you…”

“Shush! I’m talking!” Sungyeol cut him off and put a finger to his lips. He then continued once Woohyun pursed his lips closed, “_And _that’s not like your situation at all. Me and her broke up because we encountered people that we’d rather be with. You haven’t encountered anyone, you hermit! If anything you have…what’s it called? Not Stockholm…Ah! The Florence Nightingale syndrome! Yes, that’s it! You fell for the person who took care of you.”

Woohyun still kept his mouth shut. If he argued now with Sungyeol, things would get loud and heated. The whole bar would be a witness to it. And honestly, Woohyun didn’t disagree with him entirely. Yes, Woohyun might’ve fallen for Sunggyu because the man took care of him. But Woohyun couldn’t ignore the fact that he was weak and in a vulnerable situation, with strange hormones messing with his body and mind. And now, while he had “Baby Blues,” Woohyun wasn’t as vulnerable, as needy as he was then. And that’s what he was trying to say. Sungyeol and his high school girlfriend broke up because they became different people. And Woohyun was literally a different person right now. The situations _were _similar, but he didn’t want to get into it.

“In any case, it wasn’t real,” Woohyun tried to lay the matter to rest. “I’m not a woman.” That should have really been the nail in the coffin of the conversation.

But of course, Sungyeol had another question for him: “No, you’re not…but are we sure that Sunggyu is straight?” Woohyun glared at the other as he polished off his drink. Sungyeol was unfazed. “Well, are we?” He then leaned in closer and whispered lowly, “There were times when the three of us went for a second round and things would…”

“Sungyeol,” Woohyun cut him off. His mood was swinging dangerously low. “Can we talk about something else? Please?”

“Alright,” his friend finally let it drop and ordered the both of them another round. After a few moments of silently sitting, Sungyeol finally found the something else to talk about: “What was it like giving birth?”

Weirdly enough, in spite of everything, Woohyun talked about his experience with ease and with pleasure because he could make Sungyeol retch with his words and make him beg not to go into detail. This was the step towards normalcy that Woohyun needed.

Being normal wasn’t trying to forget or act like the past didn’t happen; it was accepting the past and accepting the fact that things were not going to be the same. Only in geometry does normal stay the same. In life, normal changes all of the time. Woohyun just needed to settle on his new definition of it.

* * *

Woohyun wasn’t the only one who needed to settle for a ‘new normal.’ Sunggyu suddenly found himself a widower. It wasn’t entirely a lie. He truly felt like it. Essentially, Ran Woong was dead, and Sunggyu hadn’t spoken to Nam Woohyun in weeks. It was encroaching on a month now. So it seemed like any real relationship that they did have was gone along with their fake one.

In some ways, Sunggyu was okay with that because he had no idea about how to act around Nam Woohyun as a man, or how to feel about Nam Woohyun as a man. But what he wasn’t okay with was the pitying looks from coworkers and the condolences. He was asked if he wanted to take time off for grieving or if he wanted to see a grief counselor. He declined. Work was going to be his therapy. He was going to try to live life as he had before and act like the past three months never happened.

It went as horribly as you would expect. Not everyone was willing to forget along with him.

“Sunggyu, why have I never got a call about your baby? I understand that you wanted to see another doctor, but you should at least told me that your daughter was born. Aren’t we friends? Are we? Or am I just _some_ doctor to you now?”

Sunggyu had been dodging Bora’s phone calls for around a week now. She had been patient, assuming that he was a new father with limited time on his hands. But after she left a scathing voicemail in which she threatened to call Ran Woong, Sunggyu finally called her back. And that was how she answered the phone.

Sunggyu sighed and tried his best to control his temper (which had been getting out of hand recently). He called Bora during his lunchbreak, so he was still in the office, in a room meant for small group meetings. Several coworkers already walked past the room, wanting to use it as well, but they’d see the ‘widower,’ apologize, and move on. That was also irritating him, how they were being overly courteous for no reason.

“Do you want the long version or the short version?” he asked.

“Short,” Bora replied. “I’m a busy woman, and I only have a 10-minute break.”

“Ran Woong and the baby are gone,” Sunggyu came out with it.

“What?”

“Gone forever. Never to return.”

“Okay, I would like the long version now, please,” Bora said after a moment of silence. She then got very worked up over it, “What do you mean they’re ‘gone forever’? Sunggyu, what happened?”

“They died,” he went with the usual lie. “Or they’re as good as dead because they’re back in North Korea now.”

Bora paused for a second and then asked, “You _really _expect me to believe that?” Of course, she’d be the only person to call him out on it. “Why the Hell would they go back? You want me to expect that she got caught and dragged back? Sunggyu, the guy who sold me my car was a defector too and no one…”

“Are you at a computer?” Sunggyu cut her off.

“Huh? Beg your pardon?”

“Get on the computer and look up Ahn Heeyeon. Her webpage for the home-shopping network will come up. Just do it. It’ll explain things,” he quickly added the last two statements when he heard Bora preparing to argue.

She did as she was told. “Ahn Heeyeon?” she asked to make sure. Sunggyu grunted in response, and she repeated the name as she typed it into the computer. And she was aghast at what came up. “Oh my god!” Sunggyu closed his eyes, preparing to speak the truth about the entire situation for once. But Bora jumped to a different conclusion: “Wait…Sunggyu! Did you have an affair with…”

“No!” Sunggyu shouted so loudly that he heard it echo through the room. A few coworkers turned their head to see what was going on. He quickly apologized to them and then continued talking to the doctor, “Just watch one of the videos. Just do it!”

“Then is it a twin or something?” she guessed.

“Just watch one of the highlight reels, okay?” Sunggyu ordered again.

And she finally gave in, “Fine.”

A minute past and Sunggyu could hear the clip playing, but nothing more. Bora was silent. So he prodded her, “So are you watching it?”

“Yes, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to be seeing,” she replied.

“What do you mean?!” Sunggyu snapped. “She’s acting completely different from Woong and you know it.”

“Yes. It’s a stage persona, isn’t it? Or she has a twin, like I said,” Bora reasoned, in a bored voice. “This explains nothing.”

Sunggyu groaned. This wasn’t going to work. In fact, in the past it didn’t work, which is why Bora was married to another man and Sungyu was sitting here wishing that he was talking to someone else. Woohyun would’ve understood, he caught himself thinking. And because of that intrusive thought, Sunggyu decided just to drop this whole conversation. He was tired of it. “Forget it. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try,” she urged him. “Come on, try me, Sunggyu.”

“No,” he was firm. “There’s no point. You don’t believe in magic. You’d just say I’m delusional or…”

She cut him off, “Of course, I would. Magic doesn’t exist.”

That did it. That set Sunggyu off: “Ran Woong was really a coworker of mine, Nam Woohyun. A witch switched his body with Ahn Heeyeon. They lived like that for 3 months. They’ve since switched back. That’s the truth. Take it or leave it. Ran Woong is gone. Bobae is gone. They’re both gone.” And he hung up the phone on her. He didn’t care to hear her opinion on it. It happened. He didn’t need to hear her trying to convince him that it didn’t. It happened!

Sunggyu slid his phone away from him, across the table, leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes. Acting like the last three months didn’t happen got him nowhere but angry and frustrated with the world and everyone in it. He needed to talk to someone about it. He was at his limit.

Sunggyu opened his eyes again and reached for the phone. He flipped through his contacts until he found the number.

“Hey, it’s been awhile. How are you doing?”

* * *

That weekend, Sunggyu was walking down the street when his phone rang. It was Bora. Surprisingly, she had made no effort to call him ever since he hung up on her. This was her first time, days later. So Sunggyu answered, curious as to why she waited so long.

“I’ve thought about it,” Bora announced as soon as he picked up the call.

“And?”

“Let’s say I suspend my gratuitous disbelief and say magic exists,” she laid down some conditions.

“It does,” Sunggyu interjected, impatiently. He hoped that this conversation would be a short one. He was meeting with someone in a few minutes.

“Fine,” Bora must’ve been in a hurry too because she didn’t even bother to argue with Sunggyu on that point. She continued, “This notion of Woong being a man trapped in a woman’s body sort of makes sense. She really seemed to know nothing about the female body, but she wasn’t a dumb girl. I mean, Woong-ssi asked me once if the baby would be okay if she took off her bra, and she had no idea what stretch marks were. Those questions were…ridiculous.”

“Woohyun isn’t dumb,” Sunggyu added when Bora finally paused. “He was clueless. But he isn’t dumb.”

“So if Woong was a man all along, there’s just _one _thing that doesn’t make sense, aside from the whole magic thing,” Bora said.

“What?”

She was hesitant to say it: “Sunggyu, don’t get mad at me for asking this…”

“Then don’t ask it,” he snapped. Sunggyu was nearly at his destination, at a high-rise apartment, and he had a feeling he knew what the question was.

“What’s your relationship with this Woohyun guy?” and she did ask it. Sunggyu bit his lips closed, holding back his tongue. “Sunggyu? Hello? Are you still there?”

“I told you not to ask,” was all he said in reply to her question. “I have to go. I’m about to meet with someone right now.”

“Who?” Bora asked and then gasped. “This Woohyun kid?”

“No,” he answered. “Bye.” At least he said ‘goodbye’ this time before hanging up. But he couldn’t hold the conversation much longer. There were two people waiting for him in the lobby of the apartment building.

“Sunggyu-ssi! Over here!”

Sunggyu smiled and waved back at them. “Hello, Heeyeon-ssi! Hi, Yunhee!”

* * *

Sunggyu needed to do this. He needed to drill into his head that this wasn’t the woman he’d fallen in love with and that this beautiful, baby girl wasn’t his. Well, Sunggyu got used to the fact that Yunhee wasn’t his fairly quickly. When Sunggyu first held her, back in the hospital, he was entranced. He thought that she was the prettiest thing and he wanted to be a part of her life. And he had all intentions of doing so, until Yunhee began wailing and Woohyun stormed out of the room. Woohyun realized it a second before he did. They were nothing to Yunhee.

Even now when Sunggyu was in Heeyeon’s apartment, holding Yunhee in his arms, he felt very little. Yunhee was an average looking baby to him, and honestly, Sunggyu couldn’t wait to hand her back to Heeyeon because his arms were getting tired.

But getting used to the fact that Heeyeon wasn’t Woohyun/Woong was difficult. This was the first time that they’ve really interacted since the switch back. And Sunggyu hated how his heart was doing flips when they met in the lobby. And he hated even more of how he had to restrain himself from touching her and from calling her…It was incredibly difficult. It didn’t help that Heeyeon was prettier in her own body, even as an exhausted, new mother who had no time to spend on herself. Her smile suited her face better. Her tone fit her voice. She dressed in better clothes. And overall her actions were just prettier. That didn’t help his heart to fall out of love with her at all.

But then they got to talking. They struggled to make conversation into anything more than questions that could be answered in a few words. It was stilted. Sunggyu foolishly thought it’d come more easily. However, Sunggyu and Heeyeon only spoken a few times before. And even when they spent several hours together in the waiting room of the hospital, the both of them were too anxious to make casual conversation. Sunggyu talked to her brother more than he talked to her. Sunggyu and Heeyeon, essentially, knew nothing about each other. And Sunggyu then realized that he expected it to be like ‘old times’ with Heeyeon, but between the both of them, there were no ‘old times’ to be had.

She wasn’t Ran Woong. She wasn’t Woohyun, which became all the more evident when Heeyeon mentioned him, “I’ve told Woohyun that he could come and see her, but he doesn’t want to.” She placed a cup of tea in front of Sunggyu and sat down in a chair across from him. She didn’t pick up Yunhee though, but the baby was also sleeping peacefully in his arms.

“I’m not surprised,” he murmured in reply. The image of Woohyun storming out of the room and down the hallway of the hospital played in his mind again.

“Would it be mean of me to bring her onto set one day?” Heeyeon asked. “I wanted to show her around. Some of our coworkers want to see her.”

Sunggyu looked down at the baby. It seemed so harmless, so soft and gentle, but he knew the world of pain she could inflict on Woohyun. Yet it was unavoidable. Yunhee existed in this life, not Bobae. “Just make sure Woohyun is kept a safe distance away,” Sunggyu replied with a small smile. He then tried to joke. “He might run away with your little girl when you’re not looking.”

Heeyeon giggled at that. “I’ll be sure to keep a very, very,_very _close eye on her,” she promised. “What’s he up to today anyway?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” Sunggyu answered.

“Oh, you don’t?” Her brows furrowed in confusion. “Don’t you live together?”

“No,” he replied and shook his head a lot. “He moved back with his mom, I think.”

“Ah, right, of course!” Heeyeon exclaimed with a clap of her hands. “Now I remember. He did mention that before.”

Sunggyu bit the inside of his cheek. He ‘thought’ Woohyun moved back with his mother, but Heeyeon ‘knew.’ But how could Sunggyu know? Woohyun wouldn’t let him! Woohyun hadn’t called him since the switch back; he hadn’t even sent as much as a text message or any hint of being alive. Yet apparently Woohyun would tell Heeyeon every single detail of his life, and worst of all, Heeyeon expected Sunggyu to know about it too! It was irritating, much more irritating than how he was being treated by his coworkers. Probably because Woohyun wasn’t just a coworker…well, they weren’t coworkers anymore.

Yeah, Sunggyu had a problem with his temper nowadays, and it was noticeable. Heeyeon added, “Woohyun-oppa and I don’t talk very much. I only pop in once a week for a meeting. Other than that, I’m spending all my time with this little girl.” She gestured over at Yunhee, smiling warmly. She then extended her arms, “I can take her back. It’s time to put her down anyway.”

“Oh sure,” Sunggyu mumbled and handed Yunhee over carefully. He watched Heeyeon take her into the nursery (he guessed) and let out a deep exhale once she was inside. That breath soon became a groan. “Oppa?” he spoke under his breath and then groaned again. This was weird. It was all so weird. Here Sunggyu was sitting with who he used to know to be Woohyun, talking about Woohyun-_oppa_, and holding a baby that thought he was going to raise. His mind was breaking down, but it needed to. Sunggyu needed what he used to know to fall apart so that he could then put his mind back together, piecing it in with this new normal. And when Heeyeon came back, his temper died down (a bit), and he didn’t see Woong in her anymore. He finally accepted that this was someone else entirely.

And now he had to accept that he and Woohyun were nothing anymore. He could stop pretending to be close to him now, like he knew what was going on with him. “Heeyeon-ssi, how is he doing?” Sunggyu asked. “I haven’t heard from him since Yunhee was born.”

Heeyeon stopped in her tracks, like a deer caught in headlights. “Oh well,” she muttered as she gained her sense of mind again and sat back down, playing nervously with the baby monitor in her hands. “I wouldn’t be the best judge because I don’t know what he was like before. I couldn’t tell you if he was better or worse, not like you could. I’m also not on sets much, as I’m still on maternity leave. Like I said before, I only pop in for a meeting once a week,” she rambled off that disclaimer quickly. She didn’t want to be run over by Sunggyu’s temper. “But I would say that he’s doing just fine. He’s really taken to his job and everyone loves him there.”

Sunggyu relaxed hearing that. Well, at this point, he wouldn’t relaxed at hearing anything about him. “I’m not surprised,” Sunggyu remarked, acting as if he’d known that’d be the case. “It’s Woohyun, after all.”

“Right?” Heeyeon agreed. “He’s become an irreplaceable part of the team.”

“Really?” Sunggyu smiled, recalling all of the conversations that he had with Woohyun about their company and his old job. This was what he wanted to happen for him. “You should tell him that. He needs to hear it. Woohyun is the type of person that needs a lot of praise.”

Heeyeon nodded. “I’ll do that.”

* * *

Sunggyu left soon after that conversation ended and finished his (cold) tea. On his way home, he picked up some beer to help him nurse his heartache. Whatever his heart was aching over, he wasn’t quite sure. But it hurt like a bitch.

He couldn’t get too drunk though, or not nearly as much as he wanted to. He was flying to China the next morning, and flying with a hangover wasn’t something he liked to do. And the last time he packed drunk, he forgot underwear. It’s not like China didn’t have underwear, but he’d rather not spend what little free time he had over there running panty errands. He’d rather spend his time eating, sleeping, or…was it possible that there actually was a Ran Woong in China for him to meet? Well, she didn’t have to be a defector, but just a woman that he connected with just like…

Sunggyu put the beer down. He felt like he’d drunken too much already. He was seeing things. He was seeing her, no, him on the television. Why would he be on the television? Woohyun had no business…Wait, no, he did. It was his business now. Sunggyu rubbed his bleary eyes and tried to focus them once they were open again. His television was on the home-shopping channel. How it ended up on there, it didn’t matter. What did matter was that this was the first time that Sunggyu saw Woohyun since the hospital. And it was surreal, not just to see him on tv but to see him in general. Surreal but nice, really nice.

Woohyun wasn’t hosting the show. He was just acting as a model for the pajamas that they were selling. It was a couple’s item, and he was matching the hostess. The both of them were acting out some sort of super cheesy skit of a newly wed couple. Sunggyu couldn’t laugh at it though. No, his throat was too tight for it. This domestic scene. He’d seen it before. He’s lived through it with…

Earlier today, he was searching for signs of Woohyun in Heeyeon, but they were all right in front of him now. Everything that he wanted to see was in Woohyun. His smile, his laugh, the way he stood with his chin raised proudly, the eyes that always seemed to be searching…his gaze caught the camera lens and Woohyun grinned.

“Cute.”

And Sunggyu was just drunk enough to admit that Woohyun was always like that. He always had those habits. He always was cute. And Sunggyu had always seen him like that, even before the switch.

Sunggyu sighed and turned off the television. That was enough of that. He needed to go to bed. His flight was early in the morning. He was going to China. He was going to hope to run into a real Ran Woong.

He was tired of meeting her only in his sleep.

* * *

“She grew so much.”

It was the first time Woohyun saw Yunhee since the hospital. While he knew that this day was coming, it still felt too soon, but any time would’ve been too soon, even if Yunhee was three years-old and walking. He still hadn’t fully gotten over the shock that she wasn’t his and would never be. And while the stubborn part of him didn’t want to be in her life at all if she couldn’t be his, a greater part of him still felt tied to her. He had to be in her life, whether he wanted it or not. Accepting that fact might help him get over these blues. Maybe she could be his new interest in life.

“Well, it’s been awhile since you’ve last seen her, Woohyun-oppa,” Heeyeon remarked and readjusted the baby in her arms. Back when they were living together during the switch, she started calling him ‘oppa.’ In turn, Woohyun referred to her as his ‘dongsaeng.’ They figured that they were basically siblings, since they knew each other on some weirdly intimate level. There’s something about spending three months in each other’s bodies. It allowed you to be incredibly candid with each other.

Which meant she was well aware of how much this pained him, but she knew it had to be done. And that this had to be done too: “Hold her. Look, Yunhee wants to be held by you. She’s reaching for you!” She basically put her daughter into his arms.

“Okay,” was all Woohyun could manage to mumble out as he juggled the newborn into his arms until she was safe and secure. And just like when he held her in the hospital, he felt whole, or at least more ‘complete’ than he had been feeling. It wasn’t as intense as it was back then. He’d improved since then. However it was still strong enough for him to kiss Yunhee and hold her close.

“She looks so comfortable,” Heeyeon cooed. Her eyes went up from the baby to Woohyun. She had that slightly crazed look that she usually got whenever an off-the-wall idea popped into her mind. Being very familiar with that look, Woohyun thought he’d be prepared for anything that came out of her mouth, but he wasn’t: “Do you think she remembers you? You know how children are more attuned to the supernatural? Like they can sense ghosts and remember past lives.” She paused for a moment, giving a chance for the other to respond, but Woohyun couldn’t find the words, so she continued, “I think she _has _to remember you.”

He shook his head. “We only met once before…like this,” he murmured as he shifted Yunhee in his arms. He didn’t even want to hope that it was true, and he couldn’t even look down the baby now to check for any signs. There wouldn’t be any. He was a perfect stranger to her.

But Heeyeon was searching for them. “It’s not your body that she’s remembering,” she whispered.

Woohyun risked a glance down at the little girl, whose eyes were open and clear, gazing back up at him. The hope that he tried to choked down now overwhelmed him. Was it true? Woohyun gently touched her cheeks. “Bobae, do you know me?” he whispered, barely moving his lips. Yunhee moved her head. It wasn’t a nod. It was more like a roll. Her head now pressed against his chest and her tiny mouth opened. Was she trying to say ‘yes’? No wait, she’s a newborn. She was probably just yawning. Wait no, she wasn’t yawning either because that tiny mouth was now on his chest. “Oh, what’s this?” he asked with a surprised laugh.

“Oh, she definitely remembers you,” Heeyeon remarked and tried to move Yunhee’s head away. “Wrong mommy, Yunhee! You can’t drink from him, silly.”

And Woohyun couldn’t stop laughing, now out of happiness rather than shock. He pulled the baby away and shifted her so that now she was resting on his shoulder. “She is very silly,” he wheezed between laughs. He then turned his head press a soft kiss onto the baby’s head and stroked it. “So silly.”

“Oh I almost forgot!” Heeyeon exclaimed with a clap of her hands, startling Woohyun and the laughter caught in his throat. Heeyeon’s face softened once the excitement left. She appeared guilty now. “I used to worry about you here, if this was what you really wanted to do. I just got you a job here because it was all I could do,” she admitted. A smile grew as she continued, “But I’ve heard that you’ve been doing really well here. Those pajamas sold out! I heard that the pitch was your idea too, and you stepped up to do it. You’ve really become an integral part of the team so quickly.”

“Really?” Praise was the last thing (well, second to last thing) he expected her to say. But it was really, really good to hear. He started laughing again. “Thank you.”

“Sunggyu-ssi was right. You do like to be praised,” Heeyeon was saying all sorts of weird things today. Woohyun froze. It wasn’t like that man’s name was taboo. They’ve talked about him since the switch back. But he didn’t know that Heeyeon talked to Sunggyu and talked to Sunggyu about him. All of the joy he had turned sour, and he held on tighter to Yunhee, who was now mouthing at his shirt, to get some of that good feeling back.

“Doesn’t everybody?” he tried to remain calm, act disinterested. Heeyeon just nodded in agreement and pursed her lips shut. She knew that she let too much slip out and was now pretending like she didn’t mention that guy at all. She couldn’t even look at Woohyun now because of her guilt. But Woohyun couldn’t look away and he couldn’t keep pretending any longer. “So you’ve talked to Sunggyu-ssi recently? About me?”

Heeyeon still would meet his eye. “Sunggyu-ssi came over before his trip to China,” she answered lowly.

“China?” It shouldn’t have come as a surprise. That was a large part of Sunggyu’s job was to travel overseas, and he seemed to go there every other month. So why did Woohyun feel surprised to hear that Sunggyu is going about life as usual? And why did he feel worried?

“We talked mostly about Yunhee, but he wanted to know how you were doing,” she was giggling as she spoke, but at least she was looking at him again. “And I said what I just told you a moment ago. That was all.”

Woohyun pouted. Now he felt uncomfortable for different reasons, but did it really matter? He still didn’t like anything about this. “He could call me, if he really wanted to know,” he grumbled.

“He could,” Heeyeon agreed again, quickly. It seemed like she wanted this conversation to be over with. Her lips were sealed shut again and tucked into her mouth. She knew it wasn’t her place to say anything more. But it was her place to take her child back, which she did. “Yunhee seems hungry, given that she tried to drink from you. So I’m going to go do that,” she announced and held her arms out for Yunhee.

Woohyun gave her back. Once she was in her mother’s arms, Heeyeon began scurrying away. He waved to them as they passed by. “Alright, bye, Bobae,” he called her by name louder and he swore the baby looked back at him over Heeyeon’s shoulder.

Did she really remember him? Could she really remember that time when they were one? And even if she could now, she’d soon forget with age, right?

Woohyun supposed that he could let Yunhee forget about those times, but he wasn’t willing to let her forget about him.

“I’ll see you later! You and Yunhee!”

That made Heeyeon finally stop and turn around. She was pleasantly surprised. “Yes! Please come visit us. Anytime!”

“Will do!”

* * *

There was no Ran Woong in China. There never was one to begin with. Sunggyu was foolish to think that there’d be one there now. And it wasn’t like he had much time between meeting and training sessions to go look for her. If he could barely squeeze in time to buy panties one trip, why did he think he could find a wife?

And why couldn’t he just let her go? Or let the idea of her go?

Maybe it was time for him to act like a true widower and mourn her loss. Luckily for him, Sungyeol was always up for a drink. Sunggyu only had to ask, and Sungyeol reached for his coat and said that he knew the perfect place for them to go.

Perfect? Well, Sunggyu wouldn’t describe where Sungyeol took him as perfect. Honestly, it was the last place he wanted to be, standing right outside of Woohyun’s family restaurant. No, wait, the very last place he wanted to be was inside of the restaurant. Outside wasn’t so bad. He could still walk past it, if only his legs could move. However, he was a bit too frozen in shock to move an inch at the moment. Woohyun had come out of the kitchen with a bowl in his hands and sat down at an empty table. This was the closest that the two men had been since the hospital, and yet there was still several meters and a plane of glass between them. There always seemed to be something between them.

Woohyun hadn’t noticed him yet. He was more focused on the food in front of him and the television alongside the wall. And the way that Woohyun’s stare was semi-focused on what’s in front of him but also focused on things far away, with those dark eyes, it reminded Sunggyu of, well shit, the last time that they were at the restaurant together, when he thought Woohyun was just a stranger, just a strange woman. And Woohyun now was just being himself, not knowing that he was being watched. It was one thing for Sunggyu to see him on television as a host, but to see him like this, in a more natural state, was entirely different. Sunggyu felt much more assured that Woohyun was doing well (and was certainly eating well). He felt more comforted by this sight rather than feeling, well, panicked. And now Sunggyu could finally move on and continue down the street.

Unfortunately, Sungyeol had grabbed onto him and held him in place. “Oh, it’s Woohyun!” the man announced so loudly that it probably could be heard through the window. Sungyeol patted the elder. “I bet you haven’t seen him ever since he ghosted!”

“Hm? Oh yeah, right, when he ghosted,” Sunggyu stammered, focusing more on building an exit strategy than answering coherently. “It’s been awhile. How about…”

“How about we go in? We could get some service,” Sungyeol finished his sentence for the other and took it in the completely wrong direction. And he was now physically dragging Sunggyu in that direction too.

“A-ah!” Sunggyu stuttered and shrugged the other off of him. He stepped back several paces. “Let’s not bother them tonight. How about we go to the bar over there?” he suggested, pointing at the bar just a few shops down.

“If you really want to,” Sungyeol drawled out. He wasn’t paying any attention to where Sunggyu was pointing. His eyes were fixed on the door still, fixed on putting Sunggyu into a precarious situation. And then he finally did. “But I’m going to go inside first and invite Woohyun to see if he wants to come with us. It’ll only take a second.” With that, Sungyeol barged inside, ignoring Sunggyu’s drawn out and dramatic ‘no’ (which could definitely be heard from inside especially since Sunggyu kept shouting once Sungyeol opened the door). There was no changing Sungyeol’s mind nor was there any way of getting out of this situation.

But did Sunggyu really want to? He was split on this matter, not just in two but into several pieces. He didn’t know how to feel, especially when Woohyun was now staring at him through the window as Sungyeol was talking to him. Sunggyu didn’t know what else to do besides wave. It wasn’t even a good one. It was short and he quickly stuffed his hand into his pocket afterwards.

If it was difficult to make sense of Woohyun before, it was infinitely more difficult to do it now. Sunggyu was afraid that any wrong move would actually make the other disappear into nothingness. Woohyun essentially already had after the switch back, never contacting him.

And so Sunggyu was shocked when Woohyun stood up out of his seat, only after a few seconds of talking with Sungyeol, and came to join them. But while it took very little convincing for Woohyun to come, he still looked very apprehensive. Nervous or not, his voice and gaze was still strong when he greeted the man outside. “Hey, hyung.”

“Hey, Woohyun,” Sunggyu replied.

“Hey,” Sungyeol broke in and stepped between them. “Let’s go get drunk! Just like old times!”

* * *

This was nothing like old times. There was no way it could be, given everything that happened, and also given the fact that Sungyeol soon ditched the other two to join a girl and her friend at another table. Instead of talking to each other, Woohyun and Sunggyu settled on watching Sungyeol’s interaction with the girl as if it were a low-budget drama that their company produced. And it honestly seemed like one with the things that Sungyeol was saying to her, but now, when the girl’s friend arrived, he became a third wheel and it became less interesting to the spectators.

And Sunggyu couldn’t put up with the silence between them for much longer. He was completely sick of it after weeks of nothing. “Did he seriously just ditch us for a girl?” he started off with a joke.

But, of course, it fell flat and Woohyun answered it too seriously, “I know her. He’s been interested in her for a while.” He glanced over at the other but for just a moment and his eyes fell to his beer again. “She went to the same college as us, but Sungyeol didn’t like her then. Too quiet. But now…”

A laughter erupted from that table, breaking up their conversation (what little of it there was). The ‘quiet’ girl was now jokingly arguing with Sungyeol, probably over some conspiracy theory or something of the like. Sunggyu pulled his eyes away from the trio and onto the man next to him who had a small smile on his face while watching his friend have a good time. And Sunggyu stared at him for so long that Woohyun looked over and raised an eyebrow in question. Sunggyu then averted his gaze and cleared his throat. “You’re very close with Sungyeol, huh?”

“Yup,”

“Then why…”

“Because,” Woohyun interrupted. He didn’t want to get into why he chose to go to Sunggyu over Sungyeol back then. But Sunggyu couldn’t let the question fall from his mind. And so he kept staring at the other, hoping that he’d eventually crack. But Woohyun never did. He was trying (with great effort) to look unaffected. He zoned out, just like he used to. So it was somewhat like old times, especially since Sunggyu acted like he used to too. He dropped his gaze to his lap, appearing sad and guilty, as if he crossed a line that he shouldn’t have.

Woohyun noticed that. He couldn’t zone out as well as he used to. He couldn’t ignore the man like he used to.

Truth be told, Woohyun didn’t want to go out like ‘old times’ because those times were perhaps more confusing than him being pregnant. And that was saying a lot.

* * *

Before the switch, Sunggyu and Woohyun weren’t very close. One wouldn’t be able to tell you what the other was doing. Sure they were on different teams, but they were many functions that the company held for ‘bonding.’ The two also would normally attend second rounds after company dinners, even if it was just the two of them. It would take a significant effort for them to not know much about the other, and it did. They both of them built walls against each other and intentionally did not grow closer (even though they couldn’t stay apart either). Why? Because there was interest, because they wanted to become closer. It makes no sense, right? But so was putting up those walls and hanging out anyway, and also Nam Woohyun giving birth. Nothing about them made much sense. And this was why Woohyun was so confused back then.

It all started during a meeting that the whole company had to attend and which was a fumbling mess. No one else seemed to mind it, well, no one else besides Sunggyu, who was growing noticeably frustrated by how this useless meeting was eating into his day. Woohyun caught his eye and made a face of disgust. Sunggyu returned it, and they both sniggered afterwards. After that meeting, it became a tradition for them to talk through expressions during those meetings. In fact, this is how they mostly ‘talked.’ In the beginning Woohyun tried to approach him afterwards to make some small talk, but Sunggyu was always ‘busy’ and rushed out. Woohyun didn’t care to find out if Sunggyu was truly busy or not. He just accepted it and went on with his day.

The two would actually talk, very briefly, mostly passing remarks. They talked more while drinking, unless they went to noraebang. Then they would sing more than they’d talk. But their conversation rarely strayed away from ‘shallow’ topics: work, office gossip, the weather, sports, basically anything that wasn’t personal. However, when they got personal, they got deeply personal. Woohyun could remember the one night he went off about his parent’s divorce and the time when Sunggyu cried about his ex. Those were always the nights that they were alone together and drunker than usual, letting the walls drop for a brief moment.

There were more nights that we were with other people than they were alone (‘other people’ was mostly just Sungyeol). So they’d mostly talk with those people (Sungyeol) rather than each other. But as Sungyeol said earlier, “Are we even sure that Sunggyu is straight? There were times when the three of us went for a second round and things would…” …get flirtatious. Woohyun and Sunggyu wouldn’t exchange words often, but they’d exchange glances very, very often. They were less restrained with alcohol introduced. Stares lingered. Someone might bite their lips. And then they’d both immediately hide behind their walls. Woohyun would grow sullen, and Sunggyu would feel like he did something he shouldn’t have.

Of course today Woohyun could say that Sunggyu was ‘interested’ in him. After all, they already slept together, and Sunggyu said that he loved him, as a woman. That didn’t change the fact that Sunggyu had never been with a man before and seemed set on never being with one. And so back then, back before the switch, Woohyun didn’t know what to make of all of this or what to think about Sunggyu. And it wasn’t like he was pining over the man the whole time. He was mostly just frustrated and confused by him.

But in their time apart, after the switch, Woohyun sometimes wondered what might’ve happened if the switch never took place to begin with. Would he ever reach the conclusion that Sunggyu was attracted to his personality (at least)? If he did, would Woohyun make a move then? How would Sunggyu react if he did?

And Woohyun often came to the same conclusion: Whether Sunggyu did like him or not, without the switch, he would’ve kept the walls up, maybe even fortify them. Sunggyu would find a girl to date, most likely before Woohyun could make his move. Sunggyu liked girls and liking girls was easier. Woohyun couldn’t blame him for that, especially since Sunggyu wanted to be a dad. Furthermore, Woohyun couldn’t say that he’d be better than any girl that Sunggyu could come across. Woohyun couldn’t even say that for men. However, if given the chance and the courage, Woohyun might've told Sunggyu that they should give it a try. But even if Woohyun could manage to get out those words and Sunggyu managed to put away his reservations, most likely their relationship wouldn’t last more than a few hook-ups. And that version of Woohyun might not have minded that because they at least tried.

But those were the ‘old times’ and the promise that those times had. The switched changed everything. And they opened themselves up to each other. They were envisioning a future together, planning it and wanting it. Kim Sunggyu actually fell in love with him and Woohyun fell too.

For that reason, Woohyun couldn’t ignore Sunggyu anymore. Even if he didn’t love him currently, Sunggyu was a man that he once loved. And he was reminded as to why when he saw Sunggyu through the window earlier that night, with an uneasy smile and wave. Sunggyu couldn’t ignore him any longer either. And that meant something, right?

Was he still in Sunggyu’s heart? That’s what Woohyun was wondering while he was staring at Sunggyu in the bar. But the elder would only raise his eyes from his lap to his glass.

“Forget it,” he grumbled and took a drunk.

Forget? Woohyun snorted at that and grinned. Nah, they couldn’t ever forget; that’s why they were like this. Sunggyu glanced up at him, confused as to what he found so funny. “Anyway…how’ve you been?” Woohyun asked to deflect the confusion.

And it worked. As always, the best way to distract Kim Sunggyu was to ask him about himself. Some things didn’t change. “About the same,” Sunggyu answered. “Work’s about the same, so am I. I just came back from China.”

“Really?” Woohyun tried to act like he hadn’t heard about his trip already. “Find any North Korean defectors?” Sunggyu froze and his jaw slackened at that question. Woohyun forced out a bitter laugh. “That was a bad joke.”

Sunggyu relaxed and laughed along, but genuinely. “It was. It really was,” he remarked as he wiped tears from his eyes. It wasn’t that funny, but the two of them had been so tense that when they finally loosened up, they really let loose. Woohyun was laughing hard now too until his sides hurt. “How about you? You’re looking good, Woohyun,” Sunggyu remarked when his laughter died down.

Looking good? That was unexpected. “Really? Tell me the truth,” Woohyun dared him (or gave him the opportunity to flatter him more).

An embarrassed smile flashed across Sunggyu’s face before he took in a sharp intake of air and said: “The blonde doesn’t suit you.” His fingers played at the yellowed bangs, but Woohyun slapped them away and pouted. Sunggyu snickered cheekily. He rest his hand on the back of Woohyun’s chair as he turned to face him and leaned in. “But seriously you look in better shape than I thought you’d be. Not many people have been through what you’ve been through. Well, not many men,” Sunggyu added the last part as a slight afterthought and laughed at it.

“True,” Woohyun agreed. He then leaned back into his seat and felt Sunggyu’s arm as he did so. And Sunggyu didn’t move it. It was comforting, which was why he felt like finally opening up to this: “Is…it weird that I feel like I’m in mourning, hyung? I feel like I lost a child.” Even though Yunhee was alive, even though Yunhee might remember him, Woohyun himself was childless, even though he carried her and gave birth. His ‘Baby Blues’ weren’t going away, and he now had to face the fact that he might’ve been grieving all along.

“You did though,” Sunggyu confirmed his fears. But what he said next was comforting again: “I’m the same too. I had the least amount of claim on the baby, but I’m still mourning as if she’s really gone.”

Woohyun let out a shaky breath. “Good, it’s not just me,” he muttered and then gulped his drink. Sunggyu’s hand went from the chair to Woohyun’s back. Woohyun put down his drink and put his face in his hands as he faced the other. “I just…I just really wanted her. I wanted to love her.” Sunggyu was nodding along and muttering ‘me too’ which encouraged Woohyun to keep going, “I got to the point that I can see Yunhee again. But it still hurts. It hurts so much.” A little sob came out with his last word. Woohyun didn’t want to cry. He wasn’t going to cry. Instead he was going to sit in his seat for a few moments with his face scrunched up and hidden behind his hands. Meanwhile, he heard Sunggyu order him another drink and felt the hand on his back moving around in circles. Was it because Sunggyu had something to drink? Is that why he was being so touchy? Woohyun shook that thought out of his mind as he put his hands down. He just needed to accept the comfort and the new drink that the bartender was handing him. Sadly, he nearly polished off that drink as soon as it entered his hands, which was probably why he confessed this when he finally put the glass down: “She remembers me, hyung.”

“What?”

“She remembers me. I know it!” Woohyun raised his voice. Sunggyu still shot him a skeptical look as he finished his own drink. Woohyun got closer to him and placed a hand on the other’s knee, getting his full attention. “Look, Heeyeon brought her in, and I held her.” Woohyun took his hand away to pantomime him holding the child. “When I called her Bo-bobae, she responded to it and she even tried to suckle on me.” That drew more of a laugh from Sunggyu than conviction. And Woohyun was irritated. This wasn’t a laughing matter to him. “She did!”

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” Sunggyu wheezed out as he tried to calm himself down. “It’s just…it’s nothing,” he refrained from saying any more and bit back more words from spilling out.

“It’s not ‘nothing,’ hyung. Not to me,” Woohyun grumbled. “It’s the only reason why I can endure seeing Yunhee now.”

Sunggyu puffed up his cheeks and deflated them, successfully calming down. “She really responded to Bo…Bobae?” he seriously asked (and Woohyun was seriously glad that Sunggyu was having a difficult time saying her name too). Woohyun nodded, which made Sunggyu shake his head in disbelief. “Woah,” he muttered under his breath. He then broke out into a short and very bitter laugh. “I’m…I’m jealous. So jealous. I’ve been to see Yunhee, and she doesn’t seem to care about me at all. It does hurt.” Sunggyu went to take another sip from his drink, forgetting that he already finished it. He let out a heavy sigh, looking sadly at the empty glass. “Then again, what am I to her?”

“You go to see her?” Woohyun asked him. Sunggyu nodded. “How often?”

“Not very, honestly. Just the once,” Sunggyu answered. He then ordered himself another drink. Woohyun did too. Afterwards Woohyun put his arm around the other’s shoulders. Sunggyu just seemed to small and sad, right now. He looked like he needed the comfort. And Sunggyu did. He gave the younger a small smile and tried to say more but it was difficult for him to get started: “I…I didn’t carry her like you, o-or anything like that, but…when I look at all of the stuff for her in the apartment, I can’t help but to think about her, you know?” Woohyun’s hand slipped a little down his back. Sunggyu sighed again. “It’s hard.”

“You still have that stuff?” Woohyun asked. Sunggyu nodded. Woohyun’s hand fell away from the older, and Sunggyu watched it leave him. “Why?”

“It’s not mine. It’s yours, remember?” Sunggyu reminded him. Thankfully the new drinks came then because Woohyun getting overwhelmed just at the thought of the crib, the changing table, the small, cute shoes…He took a large gulp

“Sell it. Donate it. Burn it. I don’t care. I’m not using it,” Woohyun ranted.

Sunggyu scoffed into his glass and then took a long sip from it. After wincing at the burn the followed, he asked to other. “You really don’t care what I do with it?” Woohyun shook his head emphatically, with his lips still clinging to the glass. Sunggyu reached over and grabbed the other’s glass, taking it away from him. Woohyun could only get out a whimper before Sunggyu interjected, “Woohyun, aside from Yunhee, do you not care about any of it? Anything that happened?”

Woohyun averted his eyes and folded his hands together. “I don’t want to talk about it. It was another life,” he grumbled.

“Is that why you hadn’t reached out to me?”

Woohyun faced him. “You hadn’t either, hyung,” he brought up. And that comment stunned Sunggyu enough that Woohyun could reach over and take his drink back. He took Sunggyu’s too for good measure, placing it on the other side of him.

Then Sunggyu finally came to again. “You said that you needed time! You should’ve come to me first!” he argued, loudly. His voice was ringing in Woohyun’s tipsy head. He must’ve made a face, or Sunggyu realized how his voice carried, because he leaned in closer and hissed, “I always told you to talk to me about things, but you _never_ do.”

“_You_ could’ve come to me first,” Woohyun mentioned again, leaning in and hissing along with the other. “If you want me to talk to you, then talk to _me_!”

“I didn’t know that you wanted me to talk to you. How am I supposed to, if you don’t make yourself available? You’ve been shutting everyone out!” Sunggyu was spitting now as he hissed. He was huffing too. All of this whisper fighting was taking more energy than he had. So he paused to catch his breath. It was obvious by his nasty glare that he had something more to say, so Woohyun waited and gave back an equally intimidating glare, which made Sunggyu sigh and shake his head. “I don’t feel like you trust me, Woohyun. You said that you trusted me…or was that only in your other life too?”  
“I want trust you now, but…forget it,” the alcohol made a lot of Woohyun’s thoughts fall from his mind onto his tongue, but Woohyun managed to catch this one before it landed. This wasn’t the time to get into that.

“But I can’t,” this time Sunggyu whispered softly. “I can’t forget any of it, Woohyun. However…” he paused to let out yet another heavy sigh and he looked over at the other, just as softly as his voice had been. “I think we need to start where we left off in this life.”

Woohyun flinched at that. Return back to ‘old times’? No, that was the last thing he wanted. And he felt himself shaking his head before he knew that he was doing it. “What? With us not talking and just drinking occasionally?” he shot back.

“Eung. With us drinking _and_ talking,” Sunggyu clarified. He then grinned slyly. “Can you not do it? What? Are you pregnant again?”

Woohyun scoffed. That was such a terrible joke, but a good point. The two of the needed to start at the next step that their old lives would have taken: being friends. “Okay, let’s do it,” he replied.

“We already are,” Sunggyu retorted. He then put out his hand. “Now give me back my drink.”

“Ah, I thought you wouldn’t notice, hyung,” Woohyun spoke with a laugh as he slid the other’s drink back to him. “So when do you think Sungyeol will finally ask her out? He’s been over there forever.”

“I don’t know,” Sunggyu commented, and the two resumed watching the trio at the table nearby. “He probably won’t ask with the friend there. That’d be awkward. I think he’s waiting for her to leave.”

“True but Sungyeol isn’t known for his tact,” Woohyun retorted and Sunggyu readily agreed to that. “Speaking of which, we need to be careful because I told Sungyeol everything.”

“What?!” Sunggyu exclaimed as he was choking on his drink.

“He’s a friend, and he was getting suspicious,” Woohyun defended himself. “He knew something was up!”

Sunggyu nodded with his lips tucked into his mouth. When he let them go, he responded, “I guess I should confess too. Bora wondered why she never heard about our baby, and so I told her.”

“WHY?!” Woohyun whined as he slumped over the table. And Sunggyu put his arm around him and nearly slumped over along with him, muttering apologies and his own defense about Bora calling him non-stop and needling him and refusing to believe in magic. That soon turned into them talking about everything that went happened to them since the switch back, like Woohyun’s new job and Sunggyu’s new widower-status. But mostly, they talked about how much they mourning the life that they left, along with their child, and christening a new one with far too much booze. Sungyeol was surprised to see how far-gone they were when he finally came back to the table. He decided that they should call it a night and that they should all go home.

But that was easier said than done.

“Are you two done yet?”

As the night worn on and the drinks went down and tears flowed, Sunggyu and Woohyun kept their arms around each other, seeking comfort from each other. When it came to saying goodbye, one of them turned it into a full-on hug. And it was tight and warm. “It’s good seeing you again, Woohyunnie,” Sunggyu slurred. He was leaning so much into the hug, that he was basically was relying on Woohyun for support, which he was too drunk to give. They both would’ve been on the ground if Sungyeol wasn’t holding the two of them up.

“You too, hyung,” Woohyun spoke happily. “I missed this….No!” he whined when Sungyeol successfully pulled the both of them apart.

“He’s got to go home, Woohyun. The taxi’s here,” Sungyeol grumbled as he guided Sunggyu towards the car.

“But I don’t want to go home,” Sunggyu whined but still let Sungyeol shove him into the cab.

“I don’t care. The meter’s running!” Sungyeol replied.

Woohyun waved at the other from where he stood swaying. “Bye!” he yelled.

Sunggyu poked his head out of the car and nearly stepped out. “Don’t…Don’t be alone again, okay?” he shouted back.

“Okay! Bye bye!” Woohyun replied, waving at him now with his arms, which made him stumble a bit. So he didn’t see Sungyeol shove Sunggyu back into the car and slam the door. But he did notice the very aggravated expression on his friend’s face when he regained his balance. “What?”

“Nothing,” Sungyeol muttered. He then came up to Woohyun and put his arm around him. “Come on, buddy. It’s your turn to go home now.”

“It’s over there,” Woohyun announced happily, pointing down the street.

“I’m surprised you can remember that,” Sungyeol grumbled and he began leading his friend down the street. It took them far too long to walk down a block. It wasn’t just because Woohyun could not stand on his own, but he also had to say ‘hi’ to everyone that passed him by.

He wasn’t going to shut everyone out anymore. And by doing so, and with every drunk step, he was getting closer and closer to his new normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that this chapter was entertaining enough. Like I said, I didn't intend to split the end into two parts. Sadly this was the only natural break in the story. But that means that the next update will be extra exciting!!! The rough draft is already at 5k so the last chapter will be pretty long and fun!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that I need to split this up AGAIN! and my original ending was really only a few pages long. Now look at it! This has gotten out of hand!
> 
> (But for the most part, everything in this chapter was planned from the start. Instead of explaining things in one sentence like I did before, they turned into full scenes)

Kim Sunggyu had no clue what he was doing. Well, he knew that he was hanging out with Woohyun. They started right where they left off with the drinking and talking, lots and lots of talking, but they soon progressed out of the bar and into theater. They saw several movies together and got ‘shushed’ at several movies together. So they started to attend baseball and soccer games, where they could be as loud as they wanted to be. But they were the loudest at the one concert that they went to together. Neither of them could really talk the next day, but it didn’t stop them from still trying to carry a conversation over a meal. Sunggyu couldn’t help it. Woohyun was one of his favorite people to talk with, and for that reason, Woohyun also became one of his favorite people to eat with. They ate dinner together more often than not throughout the week.

But those dinners and outings weren’t dates. No, they weren’t dating. Woohyun was just a friend, just a very, _very_ good friend. And just because they might say ‘goodbye’ with a hug and they might be touchy with each other did not mean anything. Sunggyu often shared skinship with his closest friends. Go ask them! They would tell you that Sunggyu had put his arm around their shoulders many, many times and pretended to ‘hit’ them even more times than that. When Sunggyu was close to people, he also liked to be physically close. Any very _very_ good friend he had would tell you that.

Of course, he only slept with one very, _very_ good friend. But Woohyun was also the only one of his friends to transform into a woman. So there was that.

Would he sleep with any of his other friends if they transformed into a woman too?

No, no Sunggyu didn’t want to think about that. He liked not having a clue about where this was going. He didn’t want to think too much about what hanging out like this with Woohyun meant, given their history. Sunggyu just wanted to enjoy the present moment, enjoying hanging out.

However, as much as he didn’t try to think about it, there was a small but heavy dread tucked away into the corner of Sunggyu’s mind, occasionally weighing him down: was all of this hanging out, leaving Woohyun hanging? Or was he just enjoying the moment too?

* * *

Eventually the past catches up with the present, and it did for Sunggyu one Saturday night when Heeyeon invited him and Woohyun over for dinner. Kiheung was gone on assignment for a few days, and Heeyeon had enough of the single parent life. Originally, she’d asked Woohyun to come over, but Woohyun had been with Sunggyu when she called. Not wanting to look like she was intentionally excluding him, Heeyeon extended the invitation to Sunggyu too. “Don’t worry about it. The more the merrier, right? I don’t get out much nowadays. The only faces I see are Yunhee’s, Kiheung’s, and my own! I’m downright sick of them. So please come, Sunggyu-ssi, I can’t even remember the last time you visited.”

Sunggyu could, and it wasn’t a particularly fond memory of his. But since then he’d patched things over with Woohyun, the real Woohyun. To Sunggyu, Heeyeon was now nothing more than his friend’s friend. Yuhee, on the other hand, still meant more to him than he’d like, especially since Yunhee cared about him even less than before. Given all of that, going this time he’d probably make better memories than last, but that wasn’t saying much. Then he left heart-broken. Would he be able to leave in one piece this time?

No, not one piece. He’d fall to pieces again but for very different reasons. And it started while Heeyeon was cooking dinner in the kitchen. The two men were playing with the baby in the living room. And they were really playing _with_ her. Woohyun was bouncing her in his lap, and Sunggyu was playing with her tiny, little feet, knocking them together. He was amazed at how much bigger they were than last time and also at how tolerant Yunhee was when she had a pacifier in her mouth. She didn’t care how much Sunggyu was moving her like a puppet. She just stayed there and took it.

But that wasn’t what made Sunggyu fall apart. It was a tiny, silver glimmer, shining from Woohyun’s wrist. The bracelet. It was the bracelet that Sunggyu gave him after this little girl was born. At the sight of it, Sunggyu truly felt like a crack had started from the crown of his head and ripped through his entire body, including his mind and heart. All of him was split into two. He really didn’t know what to make of this.

And Woohyun didn’t know that Sunggyu had meant to propose with the bracelet that day at the hospital. It was the closest thing to couple rings that Sunggyu could find in the dumb, little gift shop. So there was a matching bracelet stashed away in some drawer of his, which Sunggyu hadn’t looked at since that day because, well, just looking at the one on Woohyun’s wrist sent him reeling back in time, thinking of how he watched Woohyun’s body collapse onto the floor and how there was blood on the floor when the body was taken away. It was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Sunggyu had no idea back then what was happening or what would happen. Would the body wake up? And if it did, who would it be? What should he do? Sunggyu didn’t know, but he did what he could. He sat by the body, waited, and prayed. And honestly, he wasn’t praying for anything specific, just for everything to turn out okay.

Then the body woke-up. It was Woohyun, and he was angry, really angry. Sunggyu still didn’t know what to do or how to calm him down. How could he? He was a mess himself! And it only got worse. Sunggyu had hoped that the both of them could come to terms with everything together. When completely loss in a situation like this, Sunggyu liked to talk his way through it with someone else, but Woohyun wouldn’t say much to him and then just left completely, for two months. For months, Sunggyu was lost, wanting to talk to someone but had no one.

And now he had Woohyun again, who was wearing the bracelet, oblivious to what it really meant.

“What is it?” Woohyun asked when he noticed Sunggyu had stilled. “Do you smell something? Did she poop?” He sniffed around in the air and picked up Yunhee to smell her better.

“No,” Sunggyu muttered as he snapped out of his reverie, but his eyes still didn’t leave the bracelet. “I’ve never seen you wear that thing,” he brought up, pointing at it. “Honestly, I thought you’d thrown it away,”

Woohyun shook his head as he brought Yunhee back down onto his lap, holding her in close. “I wouldn’t do that. It was a gift,” he mumbled and quickly added, “And I’ve worn it the last time we hung out. You just haven’t noticed.”

“What?” Sunggyu sat up straight. Woohyun had worn it just the other day? How did Sunggyu not notice? Was he just so caught up in whatever they were doing? Probably. Things often escaped Sunggyu when they hung out: the bracelet (apparently), a sense of propriety, time…

Woohyun grinned proudly and looked down at it. “Yeah, It reminds me that I’m the only man in Korea to ever give birth,” he bragged. “It’s my badge of honor!”

Another crack split through Sunggyu, dividing himself even more. Of course that’s what the bracelet meant to Woohyun. That’s how Sunggyu presented it to him as. But Sunggyu lied. He lied, right? Was it wrong to tell him that? Maybe but at the time Woohyun was so angry and Sunggyu was so…his skin was red hot, and the heat was threatening to break him down even further.

“Hyung? What’s wrong?”

Sunggyu got caught. So he quickly changed the topic: “Do you think that she still remembers you?” The men both looked at the baby. Sunggyu tickled at her sides as he got closer to her. He then dare to whisper the name, “Bobae?” After he did, the two men eagerly waited for her response. She laughed, but only because Sunggyu was tickling her. There was not one ounce of recognition in her face. The name meant nothing to her.

And it still meant nothing when Woohyun said it, “Bobae?” But the men still waited for her to do something. Yet Yunhee still did nothing. Woohyun let out a sigh. He had given up, “No, not anymore.” However, he didn’t seem to be broken up about it, or at least he was still smiling. Why? Wasn’t he disappointed like Sunggyu was? Why did he sound so fond when he said: “I’m probably just a random ahjussi to her now.”

“Well, that didn’t last for very long, did it?” Sunggyu voiced his own frustrations, even if Woohyun wouldn’t. He then focused on Yunhee again, messing with her limbs. “But I guess she is learning a lot right now. Like how to lift her head…and how to use her hands,” he reasoned. And the child had gotten quite good with her hands. She realized that they belonged to her and that she could move them, and grab with them. Like she could grab onto Sunggyu’s nose. “Yunhee, stop that. It hurts uncle. A-ah!” He pulled his face away right after Yunhee kept pawing at his nose. Her small fingernails were surprisingly sharp and painful.

“Oh, she left a scratch, right here.” Woohyun muttered lowly. He then reached over and touched the spot on Sunggyu’s nose, lightly, as soft as a breath. And Sunggyu went cross-eyed, looking at the bracelet around the wrist of the hand touching him. Now that hand was wiping his nose. Sunggyu had to pull away from it, like he pulled away earlier. It was too much, so much that it made him sneeze, several times.

While Sunggyu was having his sneezing fit, Heeyeon had come out of the kitchen. She’d heard everything and came rushing out with an apology, “Sorry, I hadn’t found the time to trim her fingernails. And…Oh my goodness, she got you good, didn’t she? Do you want something for that?”

Sunggyu touched his nose, feeling the raised line. He then looked over at Yunhee who was being scooped up into her mother’s arms, and Heeyeon was examining her little fingers with an ashamed expression. Such a fuss over a small scratch. “It’s fine,” Sunggyu insisted.

“Well, in that case, dinner’s ready,” Heeyeon brought up with an embarrassed laugh. “I haven’t made this in ages, so I hope it’s okay. Woohyun, can you…”

While she was asking something from Woohyun, Sunggyu just watched to other get up from the couch, seeing the bracelet shine as he moved. What was it about that little thing that affected him so much?

It was because Sunggyu could no longer just enjoy the present. Woohyun had already gotten to the point where he could embrace the past. Why couldn’t Sunggyu do the same? Well he could, but why wouldn’t he?

Sunggyu followed them into the kitchen and watched the other two as they prepared the table and settled Yunhee into her highchair. Well, he didn’t exactly watch the both of them. His eyes were one fixed on one: the man who was preparing a bottle for the girl that he’d given birth to.

This was it. This was the future that the both of them were dreaming about all of those months ago. Sure it was a bit different, but this was essentially it.

It was that realization that really made him fall into a thousand pieces, and for the rest of the night, Sunggyu was withdrawn, giving short responses to questions and short remarks to other people’s comments. It must’ve been noticeable because after awhile, Woohyun was acting weird too. Sunggyu was being distant, and so Woohyun began putting a physical distance between them, even after they left Heeyeon’s and decided to go to a noraebang. Noraebang, the place where they always went when they wanted to be together but they didn’t want to talk.

It was ridiculous. Sunggyu thought how they were acting was ridiculous and he thought it even more so the more that he drank. His mind might’ve been fractured into a million little pieces earlier but now they all collided into one thought: Let’s just do this. We want it, so we should do it.

“Why? Why do you still have this? Do you want it?” Sunggyu slurred as he hooked his finger under the chain on Woohyun’s wrist.

Woohyun was still a bit out of breath from trying to do a rap song at lighting speed earlier. He could barely say “Stop it” as he shook the other from off his wrist.

But he couldn’t shake off Sunggyu entirely. Sunggyu moved his hand from the wrist to the hand, intertwining their fingers. “We can touch, you know? There’s nothing wrong with that,” he muttered and he held the other’s hand tightly. He then patted their hands with his other. “See. Nothing wrong.”

“Hm? Really?” Woohyun seemed to want to take up the challenge. This time he didn’t shake off the other, but instead he raised his free hand to Sunggyu’s face, tracing the thin scratch on his nose and then brushing his long bangs to the side. That, Sunggyu’s mind was flooded with the many, many times Woohyun used to play with his hair when they lived together. It was so familiar. It was so comforting. “There’s nothing wrong with this?” Woohyun asked when he moved his fingers from Sunggyu’s forehead down his cheeks.

Sunggyu didn’t want to move. He didn’t want it to stop. So he said: “No.”

That must’ve been the right move because Woohyun took it a step further. Even though he let go of Sunggyu’s hand, it was only to hold the older’s cheeks in his hands. His facing was drifting closer, and his lips too, they whispered, “Are you sure?”

“Woohyun, just do it.”

Woohyun did it. He brought his hands together and squished Sunggyu’s cheeks together until he couldn’t see. And that’s when Woohyun pulled his cheeks apart, only to squeeze them back together again, laughing maniacally the entire time.

“A-a-ah!” Sunggyu whimpered and yanked the other off from him. He stood up and yelled. “Ow! Jerk! Why did you do that?”

Woohyun was still smiling as he shook his head. “Not tonight, hyung. Not like this,” was the only answer he’d give. “I think we’re done for the night. Let’s head back home.”

Done? Sunggyu stood there for a moment, stunned. He really hoped that they weren’t. He didn’t want to end things here.

But Woohyun was already out of the door.

* * *

Woohyun spent the night at Sunggyu’s place. The older had passed out almost as soon at they arrived there, not even bothering to change out of his clothes. So Sunggyu had no idea that Woohyun stayed the night, and it was evident when Woohyun was woken up the next morning by a sharp yelp. Sunggyu had come out of the bedroom and found someone on his couch, apparently not recognizing the Woohyun-sized lump on it. When he finally did, Sunggyu suggested that they go out for hang-over soup. “We could both really use it,” he said before scurrying off into the bathroom.

Really? The both of them? Woohyun could recall last night pretty well because he didn’t drink nearly as much as Sunggyu did. He didn’t even have a headache today. Well, he didn’t have a headache from the alcohol, but he had one from trying to make sense of Kim Sunggyu.

During dinner last night, the older suddenly grew cold and distant. Was he really that upset because Yunhee didn’t know him? Or was there another reason? Woohyun began suspecting that it could be something else when Sunggyu wouldn’t look him in the eye when they talked. But he didn’t look at Heeyeon either (and Woohyun had been very nervous to see Sunggyu and Heeyeon together because he hadn’t seen them in the same room together since the switch back). What did that mean?

And what did it mean when Sunggyu began flirting with him a few drinks in, even before the “We can touch” comment? Woohyun had suggested that they go to the noraebang based on how weirdly Sunggyu was acting, but once they were inside, Sunggyu only got weirder. Now he was making eye contact, too much of it. He praised Woohyun a little too much when he sang. And when Sunggyu sang, his song choices were weird. Or was Woohyun just trying to read too much into everything? Was he searching for signs that Sunggyu still had feelings for him? Because Woohyun did for sure.

Reuniting with Sunggyu was something that Woohyun had dreaded doing, but once they had, he was ecstatic that they did. He knew that he enjoyed talking to Sunggyu and hanging out with him, but he’d forgotten just how much and how good it felt. And while it was still good, it was also different. How was it that Sunggyu touched him more now than he did back then? Of course they weren’t hugs or soft touches. More often than not, Sunggyu was play-hitting him. But it was a significant change, and Woohyun didn’t know what to make of it, especially after last night. “We can touch”? Okay, Woohyun would do just that, when they were both sober and in public.

They were in the restaurant and soup was dribbling down Sunggyu’s chin, who was too tired to care. So Woohyun cared for him, grabbing a napkin and dabbing off the other’s chin. Sunggyu automatically recoiled at it.

Woohyun froze for a moment, with his arm still in the air. That reaction was far bigger than he expected it to be. Soon he lowered his arm and sighed. “What’s wrong? I thought we could touch,” Woohyun grumbled.

Sunggyu was now wiping off his own face viciously. “We can, but…”

“I know,” Woohyun interjected. ‘We can, but not in front of people.’ ‘We can, but not like this.’ Woohyun knew it would end up like this. This is why he wouldn’t kiss Sunggyu last night.

But Woohyun was wrong. He didn’t think Sunggyu was going to end the statement the way that he did: “…don’t treat me like a child.” Since he didn’t expect that, Woohyun didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t. He sat there quietly, waiting for Sunggyu to say something else. And when given room to talk, Sunggyu often did, “I’ve been thinking.”

Woohyun prodded him because Sunggyu paused for a little too long, “About what?”

Sunggyu was quiet again, for an uncomfortably long time. He chewed on his lips as he looked down at Woohyun’s hand on the table. But then he finally spoke, “I want to see what it’s like.” And he laid his hand on top of Woohyun’s.

“What it’s like to be with a man?” Woohyun guessed.

“SH!” Sunggyu hissed loudly. His eyes darted everywhere, hoping that no one had heard that. Just like before, the reaction worried Woohyun, until he noticed that Sunggyu’s hand was still on his, holding onto it more tightly. Sunggyu leaned over the table and lowered his voice. “With you. I want to see what it’s like with _you_.” The words then began spilling out of his mouth, “We get along still. We have fun. I…just need to see what it’s like or I won’t be able to move on.”

“Ah, I see,” Woohyun mumbled. He didn’t like the way that sounded. Something about it didn’t sit well with him. “Move on,” that was it. That was the part he didn’t like.

And Sunggyu could tell. “Woohyun,” he whined. His eyes were once again, darting all over the place, but everyone else at the restaurant were too busy nursing their hang-overs like they were. No one cared, so Sunggyu decided to get into it, hissing loudly until he was out of breath: “Don’t act like this isn’t what dating is! Dating is trying out whether you want to be with a person or not. That’s exactly what this is! I’m not here to explore my sexuality with you…well, I mean, inherently I am, but I just want to date.” He then pulled back, slinking down into his seat. He also retracted his hand from the other and crossed his arms over his chest. Sunggyu was irritated at Woohyun. “It could work out, and it also couldn’t. We don’t know until we try. But if you don’t want to…” he wouldn’t finish that or look at Woohyun right now.

And Woohyun really wished he would because Woohyun was beaming right now. “Dating?” he repeated. A part of him thought this day would never come, when Sunggyu would finally break down this wall and let him in. And now Sunggyu was getting frustrated with him because the older thought Woohyun wasn’t into it. It was hilarious! Woohyun chuckling to himself because, if they both of them were honest: “Aren’t we already dating, hyung?”

“Eh?” Sunggyu gasped and then stammered. “Uh, well, yeah, sort of, I guess. If you wanted us to be.” Oh, he was nervous. Woohyun was making him nervous, like he had all of those months ago. Woohyun could have a lot of fun with this (like he did back then too).

“If I want us to be?” Woohyun was playing coy. “Then can this be a date?”

“No, this is breakfast,” Sunggyu was still frustrated and hung-over. And Woohyun still wasn’t giving him a straight answer.

Nope, instead he just asked: “What makes a date a date then?”

“Just eat,” Sunggyu tried to shut him up as he shoveled food into his own mouth.

But Woohyun had just one more thing to say before he resumed eating: “Can I take you out on a real date after this?”

Sunggyu nearly lost his spoon in his soup. “Huh? What do you mean _real_ date?”

* * *

A real date, what Woohyun meant by that was that they were going to do something so stereotypical of a couple that neither of them could mistake it as just ‘hanging out.’ Luckily, there was a flower festival being held in the next town over. It was going to be filled with couples. And some of those couples were going to be astute enough to figure out that Woohyun and Sunggyu were together. They’d be publicly recognized as being ‘together’ in all sense of the word.

They needed to do this. They needed to go and walk around together in a strange place with nothing else better to do than look at pretty flowers along with hundreds of strangers. Afterwards, they could go get coffee or ice cream because that is how you end a date.

Later, they could return to their normal style of ‘dating,’ but for today, they were going to be stereotypical as hell.

And it was kinda hellish at the start. Once they got there, Woohyun didn’t know what to do, and he felt overwhelmed by the crowds of people. He couldn’t even focus on the festival. His eyes kept flitting from person to person, from couple to couple. Woohyun could recall when he and Sunggyu were like them, holding hands in public, care-free, and talking with strangers about their relationships. Would they get to be like that again? Woohyun doubted it. People were already throwing a cautious glance his way. Why? What did he do? Why were they looking down at his…oh, that was why.

“Why did you grab onto my hand?” Woohyun asked as he slipped his hand quickly from the other’s grip.

Sunggyu stopped suddenly in his tracks, causing Woohyun to stop and turn around to face him. He looked seriously offended. “Me? You were the one who grabbed my hand,” he hissed back and pointed at the other.

Woohyun shook his head. “No I wasn’t,” he insisted.

Sunggyu shot him a glare before walking right past him. “Whatever,” he muttered under his breath and wiped his hand on the other when Woohyun got close enough again. Once again, Sunggyu was frustrated with him and was feeling petty, petty enough to want to ‘return’ Woohyun’s touch back to him.

Woohyun looked down as his feet when they kept walking. Was he being too cautious? Why didn’t Sunggyu feel as bothered by the looks as he did? Sunggyu was the one who earlier checked on everyone in the restaurant before whispering to Woohyun that he wanted to date. Why was it so different now?

Because when Kim Sunggyu settled on something, he really settles and doesn’t budge. Woohyun knew that. But he didn’t think it would apply to this situation. Relationships weren’t as simple as building a crib.

Since his head was down, Woohyun almost ran into someone. He quickly side-stepped, ran into Sunggyu, and grabbed his hand on instinct. At least this time Woohyun realized that he’d done it. But Sunggyu was going to make sure that he did. He raised both of their hands and showed it to the other. “Look, you did it again!”

Woohyun automatically let go, chuckling out of embarrassment. “Bad hand,” he joked as he slapped his own hand.

Sunggyu snickered. A smile almost broke out on his face, but he held it back. He wanted to act cool. “If you want to hold my hand so badly, just do it,” he offered and put his hand out for the other to take.

But Woohyun’s smile faltered and his eyes flitted around again. “People will stare,” he replied. And at that, Sunggyu sighed and walked away. But Woohyun wouldn’t let him get too frustrated this time. He quickly came up to the other’s side and hooked pinkies with him. It wasn’t quite holding hands, but it was a little step in that direction. But it soon went from subtle to completely obvious when Woohyun began swinging their hands. Or was that Sunggyu doing it? The both of them? In any case it was nice. The flowers were nice. The fresh air and sun did them much good. And it really felt like a date. It still felt like a date when they went to a nearby café and sat in a cozy corner, talking about what stereotypical date thing they should try next. But then Sunggyu got a phone call and had to run off before they could do anything else.

Their first real date ending with just barely hand holding. For their second real date, they moved onto real hand holding. It was easy since they were in a movie theater for most of it. But occasionally, whenever they stood close enough outside of the theater, their hands would just naturally reach for the other’s. Sadly, this date was also cut short. This time it was Woohyun’s fault. His mother’s shop got flooded with a few company dinners, and she needed his help. And so he left, giving the other a hug before he did so.

They only hugged and held hands, which probably why on their third real date, Sunggyu said this: “Woohyun, are you ever going to do it?”

“Do what?”

“You know,” Sunggyu grumbled.

And indeed, Woohyun did know what he was talking about. And he couldn’t help but to find it amusing. They weren’t even doing anything close to romantic right now. They weren’t even on the same side of the room. Sunggyu was sitting on his couch, and Woohyun was coming out of the kitchen after ordering their dinner and getting the both of them something to drink. Unless Sunggyu felt so grateful that Woohyun gave him a beer that he wanted to kiss him. But that was the thing! Sunggyu obviously wanted to, but he wouldn’t do it.

And that’s what was so amusing. It was amusing how willing Sunggyu was to follow Woohyun’s lead. Sunggyu, who liked to be in control so much and who had a managerial role at the company, was going to let Woohyun guide their relationship. He had waited for Woohyun to contact him first. He had waited for Woohyun to grab his hand. Even that drunken night at the noraebang, Sunggyu sat there and waited for Woohyun to take the lead.

“Hyung, if you want a kiss, come and take it,” Woohyun tried to push the other. He even plopped himself next to Sunggyu on the couch, very closely. Sunggyu only had to move a few inches to do it. Now even less because Woohyun turned to face him.

“Why me?”

“You’re the one who wants it!” Woohyun argued and nudged the other.

And Sunggyu fell stiffly back at that touch. Wide-eyed and stunned, he asked lowly, “You don’t?”

No, Woohyun did want to. He really did, but he was just as nervous as Sunggyu was, maybe even more so because Sunggyu was relying on him so much to carry this relationship. In addition to that, Woohyun still doubted how invested Sunggyu was in them, how much he really cared for him. And Woohyun was afraid that Sunggyu not initiating a kiss meant more than it did.

“Come on, hyung,” Woohyun tried urging him again and tugged on the other’s shirt. “It’s not like you haven’t kissed me before.” In an attempt to tempt the other, he puckered his lips for a second.

And it might’ve worked. Sunggyu came in closer, only an inch, not nearly close enough. His gaze drifted from the younger’s eyes to his lips. “You kissed me first last time. Right here,” he argued and tapped on his cheek. “_You_ did it first!” that whine came out so pathetically.

So pathetically that Woohyun gave in. He covered the last two inches and pressed his lips against Sunggyu’s cheek. “There.” And there was also that shiver again, traveling through Sunggyu. Woohyun felt him almost vibrating at his side. That was interesting. Did he really have that same effect on the other still? Woohyun couldn’t help, but to be stunned every time it happened. He wanted to see if he could do it again, and he kissed the other cheek. But nothing happened.

Nothing happened except Sunggyu grabbing the other’s face and lining up their lips together into one seamless kiss, which led to another and yet another. And Woohyun felt himself shiver as Sunggyu moved his hands from his face to his shoulder and neck, pulling him in closer. There was really no need to do that because they were already as close as they could get, and Woohyun’s own hands were wrapped around the other’s waist. But the pull did bring them both down, reclining on the couch. And as they slinked down further and further, their kisses also traveled, revisiting familiar places and discovering new ones. And each other was better than the last.

Then the doorbell rang, again.

Woohyun pulled away. “That must be the food,” he stated, looking towards the door.

Sunggyu groaned as he let his head fall back onto the couch. “Again?” he whined.

Woohyun snorted and got up, with difficulty since they were tangled up in each other and Sunggyu refused to be of any use. “I’ll get it,” he declared after standing up, and he went for the door.

After paying for and accepting the food, Woohyun just barely put down the bags on the coffee table when Sunggyu pulled him in for another kiss, a short one. It was more of a peck, really. And when it was over, Sunggyu seemed confused, really confused. His brows furrowed so deeply that it’d surely leave wrinkles if he kept it up. And that furrow only deepened after Sunggyu kissed him again, a bit longer this time but still lasting now more than a second.

“What?” Woohyun was almost afraid to ask that question, yet he needed to know the answer.

“You…you kiss the same,” Sunggyu struggled to put his jumbled thoughts into words. He stepped back from the other, as if that would make his thoughts any clearer. “I mean, it feels different but also the same.”

“Of course, I do. I’m still me,” Woohyun replied with an anxious chuckle.

That drew a short laugh from the other. “Yea, you kinda are.”

That ‘kinda’ kinda killed Woohyun.

But he felt alive in the very next second when Sunggyu kissed him again longer, harder, and finally without hesitation. Knocking the air out of Woohyun. And that’s how things were between them for a long while. Woohyun would think that their relationship was doomed in one second, but then in another he thought that it’d last, that nothing would be better.

And things did go better, in some ways, than last time. It didn’t take long for them to regain the sexual intimacy that they once had, and for Woohyun, it was far better being with Sunggyu in his own body. He had more control. He was confident. And he wasn’t later racked with guilt and doubt like he was before.

Woohyun didn’t know if he could say the same for Sunggyu. That man would quickly grow hesitant whenever the moment would grow hot enough to the point that they were about to burn down another wall in their relationship. It wouldn’t matter if Woohyun tried to assure him by saying “It’s nothing that I’ve never seen before, hyung,” because they were still things that Sunggyu hadn’t seen or done.

However, one line never seemed to fail: “It’s okay. I googled it.” Those words would always make Sunggyu ease up and smile. Woohyun didn’t know if it made him feel better because it was an inside joke or because it implied inexperience. Woohyun would feel bad if it was the latter. He wasn’t inexperienced, but Sunggyu had to know that, right? Or was that man just believing in whatever he wanted to again?

“What is Sunggyu thinking?” was a reoccurring question in Woohyun’s mind, and it was an aggravating one. Normally, Sunggyu was an open book. Woohyun would only have to glance at his honest face to be able to read him. But at times, Sunggyu’s face would be clouded by layers of inner turmoil. He’s was coming to terms with his sexuality and redefining who he was. Woohyun could read that much. But what terms were they? Only time would tell and hopefully Sunggyu would then tell him the words that Woohyun had been yearning to hear again.

But for now, Woohyun had to wait and be patient. And for now, he could treasure that Sunggyu genuinely liked him for him. Woohyun was sure of that, completely certain. Just like anyone else who had experienced it, Woohyun knew the difference between a casual relationship (and sex) and one with great promise, one that was nearing love (or that was already there).

It felt very nearly there, and even more so the more Woohyun infiltrated Sunggyu’s apartment. Well, technically, Woohyun had already lived there before, so he kept using the same set of towels and such as he did before. But this time, Woohyun brought his own clothes and wore them. He got a great pleasure in being able to wear a fresh set of his own clothes after spending the night at Sunggyu’s place. In spite of living there previously for three months, he never did that before. Yes, things were much different than before and hopefully better.

* * *

Another difference was that Sunggyu spent a few nights in Woohyun’s room. As close as they were, and for much they hung out, it wasn’t until they were actually dating, when Sunggyu came into Woohyun’s bedroom. And well, the major reason for that was because Woohyun was still living with his mother. It wasn’t really a place to take your date back to, unless his mother was out of town. Then Sunggyu would come over.

However, one night Sunggyu stayed over when his mother was still there. It couldn’t be helped though. They hadn’t seen each other all week because both of their schedules were packed. Sunggyu managed to get out of work with just enough time for them to have a few drinks at the bar a few blocks away. Being slightly drunk and wanting to prolong his time with the other, Woohyun told Sunggyu to just stay the night. After all, Sunggyu had to wake up early to get to work anyway. Most likely he’d be out before Woohyun’s mother could wake up.

But ‘most likely’ still left enough room for the ‘unlikely’ to happen. It didn’t matter how quite they thought they entered the house. It didn’t matter that they didn’t do anything else but wash up and sleep. Somehow, Woohyun’s mother knew there was a guest in her house. And she was up, early in the morning and making breakfast for the three of them. It must’ve been her motherly instincts or Sunggyu’s coat and shoes by the door that tipped her off. But Woohyun’s mother had also known that her son was dating someone. After all, Woohyun spent several night out ‘at a friend’s place.’ She even outright asked if Woohyun was dating anyone. Woohyun did admit that he was, but he wouldn’t say who. So maybe she was on the look-out, waiting for her son to slip-up like this so that she could finally discover his relationship.

And Woohyun was asleep when it happened. Sunggyu had tried to sneak out, not even disturbing Woohyun as he did, but he was trapped by Woohyun’s mother in the kitchen. And her son was soon woken up by her alarming shout: “Woohyun-ah! Come down to have breakfast with me and Sunggyu!”

At that Woohyun rushed out of bed and down the stairs with only his boxers on, only to see Sunggyu, dressed in a shirt and tie, sitting down at his kitchen table across from his mother, who was also fully dressed and immensely proud of herself. It was awkward to be the most undressed at his own kitchen table and to have this be the first real meeting between Sunggyu and his mother. But maybe she didn’t know that it was, Woohyun hoped. Maybe she thought Sunggyu was just a friend. The both of them tried to play it off like Sunggyu was, like he was just a friend crashing for the night. And Woohyun thought they did a good job in acting casual. He even didn’t walk Sunggyu to the door or give him a proper goodbye. They just waved at each other, and Sunggyu left.

And when he was gone, his mother remarked, “I remember him. You guys used to hang out a lot before.”

Woohyun nodded and kept eating as he answered, “Yeah, I used to work with him.”

“And now?” Woohyun perked up when she said that. And when he raised his eyes to her face, he could tell. She knew everything. Well, not everything but the truth about his and Sunggyu’s relationship. “Just be careful. I don’t want you to end up heartbroken again.”

Heartbroken? Is that what she thought Woohyun was going through a few months back? “Wait, it’s not like that,” he began. Sunggyu hadn’t broken his heart (yet).

“It isn’t?” she jumped in, afraid that she assumed too much.

“I mean, it is, but…” Woohyun paused and took in a deep breath, taking in all of the courage that he could. “Mom, there’s something that I’ve been wanting to tell you.” It was time that she truly knew everything. Woohyun explained it all from the very beginning and showed her the videos on his phone to support his story. It was easier to convince her of the truth than he thought it would be, but he failed to account for the fact that he was her son. She loved him and trusted him.

And the two had a long conversation, that spanned over the week, about love, relationships, and family. Their bond grew deeper, and Sunggyu received permission to enter their house whenever he pleased.

And maybe it was his mother’s stamp of approval that Woohyun had lulled himself into a false since of security. He hadn’t felt that sense of impending doom in weeks. But he really should have because if he’d been paying attention, he would’ve realized that Sunggyu was more veiled than before, that he talked less about work, and that he talked about the future with more uncertainty than before. If Woohyun had realized all of that, he would’ve seen this coming:

“Are you sure it’s okay, if I see her?”

A small part of Woohyun knew this day was inevitable. A small part of him knew that Sunggyu would eventually go back to dating women. In the beginning of their relationship, it was a large part of him, but over time, it grew smaller. With more time, it eventually would’ve disappeared, but there was no time left now. It was over. Sunggyu wanted to date the receptionist at the company (Heo Soobin). The woman had harbored a crush on the man which only blossomed when he became a ‘widower’ and became a pitiful man that needed to be looked after, needed to feel a woman’s touch again. Woohyun wondered what would happen if she knew the truth about the so-called widower and whose touch caressed his body at night. However, it wasn’t Woohyun’s truth to tell. And it was probably a truth that would never be told.

Woohyun should’ve noticed that something was up when Sunggyu suggested that they go have dinner at a ritzy hotel. They never ate at such nice places, and now they were breaking up in one.

But Woohyun tried his best to remain calm and to not cry. “If she’s what you really want, then we can break…”

“No! That’s not what I meant!” Sunggyu’s voice echoed throughout the quiet dining room. Several heads turned towards them. Sunggyu sent them an apologetic smile before whispering to the other, “I don’t want to break-up with you.”

Woohyun took a sip of his wine, swishing it about in his mouth, as he stared at the other incredulously. What the hell did Sunggyu want? He’d just asked Woohyun if he could date Soobin (which was a weird way to break-up but okay), and Woohyun just mumbled “alright” out of shock. But it wasn’t over? Sunggyu still wanted to date him?

Oh! Woohyun hit himself in the head for how long it took him to arrive at this: “You want to see the both of us at the same time.”

Woohyun knew Sunggyu was old-fashioned. He looked old-fashioned, drank old fashions, and acted like a grandfather. It was the reason why Woohyun knew Sunggyu would have a difficult time accepting his sexuality. Sunggyu wanted a traditional family with traditional values, and Woohyun could no longer provide that after the switch. But he had no idea that Sunggyu was going to be _this_ old-fashioned. Sunggyu was really going to try to be like one of those old gay grandfathers, generations back, who had a wife and a lover. He was going to relegate Woohyun to the ‘best friend’ which people would joke about, saying how Sunggyu would’ve married him if only he’d been a woman. They didn’t know how true that was.

Luckily for Woohyun, they lived in the 21stcentury, and he didn’t have to accept a relationship like that anymore.

“Only if it’s okay with you,” Sunggyu told him. “I like…being with you. I really do. But…”

“I get it,” Woohyun interrupted that stuttering mess and quickly added, “I’ll see other people too.”

Sunggyu had just taken a drink when Woohyun said that, and now he was choking on it. After coughing for a while, Sunggyu took a drink of water and responded. “That’s only fair.” However, Woohyun knew that Sunggyu couldn’t leave it at just that. The man tried to act cool and resume eating, but he soon put down his utensils again to ask, “Will you tell me? When you’re seeing them? Tell me who they are?”

Woohyun smirked. “If you really want to know, I will,” he spoke with much more calm than he was feeling right now. His heart was still beating hard in his chest, but he kept a serene smile on his face and challenged the other, “Do you?”

“I don’t know,” Sunggyu responded with a groan. “Maybe this is a bad idea.”

“No, it’s a good idea,” Woohyun wasn’t going to back down. “We both have options, hyung. We should explore them.”

Sunggyu slunk down into his chair and played with the stem of his wine glass nervously as he raised an eyebrow at the other. “Why does it sound like you’re breaking up with me?”

“I’m not,” Woohyun replied with a shake of his head. “We’re just opening the relationship.”

“Let’s not do it. You don’t like the idea,” Sunggyu tried to do away with the whole matter. “Forget that I said anything.”

“No,” Woohyun refused. He refused to just forget that Sunggyu suggested this. This was something that Sunggyu needed to do. He needed to figure out what he really wanted in life. But Woohyun wasn’t just going to sit there and wait to see how it’d unfold. He too needed to figure out if Sunggyu was the person he wanted to be with too. “No, the more I think about it. The more I like it,” Woohyun declared. He added this when Sunggyu’s eyebrow refused to go down: “Seriously.”

Then it fell, and Sunggyu went back to eating after he said, “If you say so.”

“I do,” Woohyun insisted. “We can do this, but just be honest with me, about everything,” he laid down some rules. “If we’re going to be open, we have to communicate openly too.”

“I will,” Sunggyu readily agreed, but then he pointed at the other with his utensil. “You have to do it too. No hiding things from me,” he warned Woohyun, who frowned at that.

“I don’t hide things from you,” Woohyun argued.

“_Sure_, you don’t,” Sunggyu teased. He then leaned over the table. “How was that visit to the doctor the other day? I heard about it from Heeyeon,” he revealed.

Woohyun scoffed. He suspected for a while that Sunggyu mainly talked to Heeyeon to get gossip about the channel and information on him. “It was the dentist, and it was for teeth whitening,” Woohyun defended himself.

“Still hid it from me,” Sunggyu pointed out, but judging by his tone and expression, Sunggyu knew that a teeth whitening appointment wasn’t something worth either hiding or telling.

Woohyun rolled his eyes but smiled. “I’ll be sure to keep you posted about my dental health from now on,” he jokingly promised. He then began eating again, and after a few bites he asked, “So you really couldn’t tell I got it done?”

“Show me,” the older commanded. And after swallowing his bite, Woohyun bared his teeth at the other, in the middle of one of the fanciest places in Seoul. But this kind of behavior was normal for them, no matter where they went. Sunggyu just studied his teeth and nodded in appreciation. “Looks good.”

“Thank you,” Woohyun always did enjoy receiving praise.

“Should I get it done too?” Sunggyu asked and bared his own teeth at the other.

“Yeah, they don’t look as good as mine.”

“Be quiet. I just haven’t had time to do to my dentist in a while, okay?”

Dying and being brought to life yet again. How was it that Woohyun was able to act normally after that? How was he actually able to enjoy the date? Was he _that_complacent? No, he knew that it had to be done. He went home. He didn’t cry, although he felt one lodged inside of his chest, weighing him down.

Days later, when Sunggyu told him when he scheduled the first date with the secretary, Woohyun already had a date of his own. He hadn’t intentionally meant to do it before Sunggyu, but it just naturally happened. There was a man pitching his unique flower arrangements on one of their shows and he also pitched a date to Woohyun. They’d already known each other for a few weeks at this point when they were planning his appearance. He was handsome and nice enough, so Woohyun accepted.

And when Woohyun asked if Sunggyu wanted to know who it was, he replied “no.” “No” was always his answer to that question, although it would come more quickly sometimes than others. It was strange. For someone who wanted to know every detail of Woohyun’s life, it was incredibly odd that Sunggyu didn’t want to know who Woohyun was seeing. All he wanted to know was where and when, just in case something went awry on one of his dates.

And yes, Woohyun dated several people. A girl even slipped into the mix, but that was in a moment of weakness on his behalf. He knew he wasn’t interested in girls, but he wondered for half-a-moment if Sunggyu was onto something, if those old gay grandpas did it right. Nope. It was a lie. Being with her was a lie. And every guy that Woohyun met with felt like a placeholder until he met with Sunggyu, which he did. They still met very often, more than they saw other people. And when they were together it was almost unbearably good, but they could only focus on the now and never the future. And all Woohyun wanted to know was the future of them. It all still seemed very doubtful.

Oddly enough, Woohyun was never in doubt of how much Sunggyu liked him, even though he’d been consistently dating Soobin for around two months now. It wasn’t like Woohyun would let Sunggyu forget about him. No, he kept burrowing deeper and deeper into his heart. He’d act more sweetly than usual, doting, hot. Woohyun knew exactly how to work him. And in return, Sunggyu was always there when Woohyun needed him. He was always just a phone call away, except when he was with Soobin. But then Woohyun could just text him, and he’d probably respond. Woohyun could, but he never did. He always tried to be respectful of Soobin. She appeared to be a nice woman, and Sunggyu appeared to be fond of her. Occasionally Woohyun caught himself wishing that appearances were deceiving, and Sunggyu would let go of this plot.

But it had been two months, and nothing seemed like it was going to change. Not Woohyun’s feelings for Sunggyu. Not Sunggyu’s feelings for him. And not Soobin.

In this situation, Woohyun was one of two things: hopeful or hopeless. Only time would tell which one he was.

* * *

It was one of those days when Woohyun was feeling a bit more hopeful than usual. Sunggyu was going to meet him for lunch, even though the company’s cafeteria always provided them with the meal. Sunggyu said that he was in the mood to have dakbokkeumtang, but Woohyun wondered if the older was more in the mood to see him.

They’d planned on meeting outside of Sunggyu’s building, and Woohyun was walking up to it when he came across a familiar face, sitting at a bus stop. Woohyun could easily recognize it even though it had been nearly a year since he’d seen it. But her body, on the other hand, underwent many changes.

“Oh, Bora-ssi, you’re expecting? Congrats!” Woohyun congratulated her after coming up to her.

And in his excitement, he’d forgotten that the doctor would have no frigging clue who he was. She scanned him up and down with great suspicion but still forced a smile onto her face. “Thank you…I’m sorry I can’t quite remember you. I’m more familiar with the wives. Who are you again?” she asked.

“Nam Woohyun,” he answered with a nervous smile. Would that name even mean anything to her?

It didn’t seem to. “Nam Woohyun?”

But didn’t Sunggyu tell her? He said that he did. So Woohyun tried to prod her memory. “Yes, we’ve met before, but I looked _very_ different then,” he hinted. “We have a friend in common: Kim Sunggyu.”

“Ah! You’re _that_ Nam Woohyun,” so his name did mean _something_ to her. Bora’s face lit up, and she turned (as best she could) in her seat towards him. “So how is Sunggyu doing with that woman?”

Woohyun flinched. “He’s told you about Heo Soobin-ssi?”

Bora frowned. Something about that didn’t seem right to her. “Is she the one from the home-shopping channel?” she asked.

“No.”

“Good. He’s moved on from her,” Bora was relieved to hear that. She then shook her head and clicked her tongue. “I can’t believe they made me believe she was defector. Did he tell you that? Wait, don’t tell me that it was it _your_ idea!”

“What?” Woohyun was struggling to put the last few seconds together. What exactly did Sunggyu tell her? It seemed like she knew something but nothing at all at the same time. “I thought hyung told you the truth.”

Bora shook her head again. “He wouldn’t admit to it,” she explained. “He just lied and said that…” Bora had to stop because she broke out into a roaring laugh. Tears were spilling from her eyes as she tried to talk through her laughter: “It’s so funny. He said that you switched bodies with her. Isn’t that ridiculous? He’d really rather make up shit than confess that he had an affair!” After a few more chuckles, Bora let out a great exhale and calmed down. Her smile was now weighed down into a straight line. “And he almost had me then too,” she admitted quietly, soon followed by a loud groan. “Ugh, I’m so upset that I believed him for a second! So I even asked him about your relationship and he…” Woohyun’s ears perked up. And his mind was racing, thinking about all of the things that Sunggyu would’ve said back then. But, in reality, Sunggyu hadn’t said anything” “He hung up on me. I haven’t talked to him since then.”

Woohyun let out a deep breath. That was a lot to take in at once, to hear Bora shout to the world about the body switch and to know that Sunggyu would rather hang up a phone on an old friend than answer a question about their relationship. Well, Woohyun guessed that they didn’t have a relationship back then, so that would make it okay, right? Woohyun didn’t know what to say in response to all of that. He just slid into the spot next to her and muttered, “That was nearly a year ago.”

“Well, I’ve been busy,” Bora excused herself. And since Woohyun was sitting next to her, she decided to take advantage of it and whispered, “Tell me. Was the baby even his?”

“It wasn’t,” it was the truth, and Woohyun answered it without much thought.

“I knew it!” Bora exclaimed. “He must’ve found out before she delivered it, and…”

“Do you really not believe it?” Woohyun interrupted her.

“Believe what?” Bora was truly and blissfully stubborn.

And it was starting to irritate Woohyun because: “You’d rather believe that Sunggyu knocked up a woman during a business trip or slept with a married woman than believe that we’ve met before when I was Ran Woong?”

Her smile completely fell. And her eyes grew wide. “You can’t be Ran Woong,” she whispered.

“Why not?” Woohyun dared her to say it.

And she did: “Magic isn’t real, and Sunggyu wouldn’t…” Well, she almost did. She stopped herself from completing the second thought.

“He wouldn’t what?” Woohyun challenged. “Be wrapped around my finger?”

She narrowed her eyes on him. “How did you…”

“Woohyun-ah! There you are!” Bora was interrupted by such a pathetic whine coming from the one and only Kim Sunggyu. Woohyun craned his neck back to see him and Sunggyu even looked pathetic (and a bit relieved to see Woohyun). Sunggyu had picked up his pace to get to the other, but he suddenly stopped, scared stiff. Bora must’ve popped her head out from behind Woohyun. “Bora!” Sunggyu exclaimed. A second later, he recovered from that shock and walked up to them with a wary smile. “Woah! You’re pregnant,” he noticed and let out a small chuckle. But the other two just stared up at him, making him even more nervous. “What are you two talking about?”

“It’s okay, hyung,” Woohyun told him. He reached his hand out for the other, and Sunggyu reflexively grabbed it, as he usually did. Woohyun squeezed it. “She already knows, remember?”

“Right,” was all Sunggyu said. He didn’t know what else to do.

And Bora was having a hard time looking away from their joined hands. Even when she stood up, she was still looking at them. “I think the three of us have some catching up to do,” she suggested. “Lunch?”

* * *

Sunggyu got his dakbokkeumtang. Bora got the truth, no matter how crazy or magical it was. And Woohyun later got the reason why Sunggyu suddenly asked him out for lunch.

After eating their meals and talking about about everything that happened and what happened afterwards, Woohyun had to excuse himself: “While this is nice, I really have to get going. We’re filming soon.”

“Oh, okay. It was nice re-meeting you, Woohyun-ssi,” Bora sent him off. She was friendly with Woohyun once again, after finally reconciling him with Ran Woong.

And Woohyun wasn’t irritated with her anymore, not in the slightest. “You too!” he chirped and got up from the table.

The other person, however, wouldn’t say goodbye to him, at least not at the table. “Hold on, I’ll be back in a bit,” Sunggyu told Bora, and then he slipped out from the table himself and followed Woohyun, who was slowly making his way to the door. Woohyun had a feeling that Sunggyu was going to corner him like this. That’s why he got up from the table with ten minutes to spare. But Sunggyu felt like he had to call out for the other, even though the younger had already slowed down his step, “Woohyunnie, wait!” There it was again, that pathetic voice. And Sunggyu even felt pathetic when he hugged the other tightly. His head nestled into the crook of the younger’s neck and his fingers gripped at his sweater on his back. Woohyun felt bad to pull out of the other’s embrace so soon, but he knew what would really lift the other’s spirits. He planted a long peck on the other’s lips, long enough for Sunggyu to reciprocate it before breaking it. Luckily, there wasn’t anyone else in this shop because they were eating lunch at such an odd hour, and so they could afford to be affectionate like this, wedged in a dark corner by the door.

“Why?” Sunggyu simply asked when the kiss ended.

“You had a bad day at work, didn’t you?” Woohyun guessed, correctly because Sunggyu replied with a short nod. “What happened?”

“They’re sending me back to China again. For a month this time,” Sunggyu spoke, barely moving his lips. He didn’t want to accept that it was his reality.

And neither did Woohyun. “Why so long?”

“They’re in between managers, and I’m the one who’s qualified enough to fill-in and knows their team best,” Sunggyu was still mumbling and looking down at the ground. He then let out a low groan as his lips pouted more. “They say it could be a month. It could also be longer.”

“Shit,” Woohyun tried the best he could to hide his disappointment but he couldn’t any longer. Sunggyu had just gotten back from a business trip there last month, and Woohyun assumed that would be enough of traveling for a good while. But now Woohyun felt like he had to put ‘China’ on the list of people dividing up Sunggyu’s time. And China being China was a higher up the list than Woohyun was. They always got what they wanted.

“I know. I really don’t want to go,” Sunggyu grumbled. His fingers were gripping, once again, at Woohyun’s sweater. “I want to stay here.”

In spite of the situation, Woohyun felt cheered up by that. Sunggyu wanted to stay here, with him. A small grin tore across his face as he asked, “When are you leaving?”

Sunggyu’s eyes flitted up to Woohyun’s for a moment before they fell back down, and with his gaze, Woohyun’s heart dropped along with it. “The current manager’s last day is next week, so I need to be there a bit before to learn the ropes,” Sunggyu revealed. “I have to be there Wednesday. My flight’s on Tuesday.”

Woohyun let out a deep breath and took a step back, putting his hands on his hips. “But it’s Friday!” he complained. This was all too fast. Sunggyu threw a quick glance up at the other muttering ‘I know,’ and then he resumed to hanging his head like a sinner. But he did nothing wrong (this time). Woohyun was mad at the company and not the other, but it probably didn’t sound like it when Woohyun raised his voice. So Woohyun forced himself to calm down. This was their reality, and they had to deal with it. “So will we see each other again before then?” his voice was lower this time, softer.

This time when Sunggyu raised his head, there was a cheeky look on his face. “About that, I was wondering if you’d want to stay at my place this weekend,” he suggested.

Woohyun raised an eyebrow at that. A whole weekend, uninterrupted, with just the two of them? “Yeah, I can do that,” he replied, beaming. “So I’ll come by later tonight?”

Sunggyu nodded. “Text me when you get there, so I can let you in,” he told the younger, smiling just as broadly.

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” Woohyun spoke in a hushed voice as he leaned in closer. He gave Sunggyu another kiss. And Sunggyu made a very frustrated noise when it ended and Woohyun had to leave.

Maybe, just maybe Woohyun was higher up on Sunggyu’s list than he thought.

* * *

Sunggyu waited until Woohyun was out of sight before returning back to the table. He truly and really did not want to make this trip, and it was very likely that it’d last over a month. It was already hard enough, being away from home for a week, especially when he’d been so used to certain company. But this was too much. And Sunggyu found himself muttering that he’d wanted to quit his job under his breath throughout the day. And he just did it again when he watched Woohyun leave.

Today sucked, and it got even worse when he turned around and saw Bora, turned around in her seat while eating, staring right back at him. She shot him a coy smile before turning back around. Shit, she just saw everything. And now she’d probably tease him for it. For a half a second, Sunggyu contemplated running out of the shop in order to avoid her sass, but that wouldn’t solve anything. Bora would find a way to tease him. And now that Bora and Woohyun became friends again, Sunggyu doubted that he could avoid her for another year like he just had. So he came back to the table at sat down with his ex-girlfriend to talk about his male lover. How did his life come to this?

“I can’t believe it,” Bora remarked as soon as Sunggyu sat down. “Woohyun’s really Ran Woong.”

Sunggyu only replied, “Yeah, he is.”

Bora’s cheeky grin widened. Her mind was searching for something to tease the man with, but instead what she found made her smile fall and draw out a curse, “Oh, fuck!” Her hands covered her stomach as that word slipped from her mouth, as if that’d make her child not hear it. She continued, “I just remembered that one time when I asked you if you’d still love Woong if she were a man, and you answered it _so_ seriously. I thought you were being dramatic. I would never have thought…oh fuck!”

“I had to take it seriously,” Sunggyu justified. “I felt like I was leading him on.”

Bora made a disgruntled noise and shook her head. “But you didn’t,” she argued. “Just look at you two now!” she exclaimed, not knowing how her voice carried throughout the shop (or the real and really complicated nature of his relationship with Woohyun). Her sly grin returned and she bragged, “I told you that character and connection were important for a lasting relationship. I was right, once again.”

Sunggyu sighed and gave a slight shake of his head. “You said they were important for a marriage,” he reminded her.

“Same difference.”

“No, you need a little bit more than those two things for marriage to work,” Sunggyu argued. He then turned his attention back down at his empty bowl and searched fruitlessly for a last bite. Of course, there was nothing. He was looking for something in all the wrong places. “You need more than that to build a family.”

“Hm? Are you guys not planning on marrying?”

Sunggyu raised his head and dropped the spoon. “We can’t,” he replied.

“Well, yeah now you can’t, but who knows about the future? It could change a few years from now,” Bora combatted. “Don’t give up hope!” she exclaimed when Sunggyu began shaking his head again. But Bora really didn’t get what he meant, so he tried again.

“I can’t even say where I’ll be in a month, let alone a few years from now. I don’t know who I’ll be with then,” Sunggyu rephrased.

Bora fell silent for a few seconds as she studied her friend with great suspect. “Does this have anything to do with this Soobin woman?” she finally asked.

Sunggyu gasped at hearing that name come out of her mouth. “How do you know about her?” he blubbered.  
“Never mind that, just answer the question,” Bora brushed him off (Although hours after the conversation Sunggyu realized that it could only be Woohyun that told her, which made him feel very uncomfortable. Woohyun rarely mentioned Soobin. What did he say about her to Bora?).

“Not just her but any woman,” Sunggyu finally came out with it. “I like being with Woohyun. I really do, but there are some drawbacks. And thinking of things in the long-term…I don’t know,” he put his dilemma into words the best he could, but it was hard when he didn’t quite understand his feelings himself. He really and truly cared for Woohyun, and he wanted to be with him for a long time. But for just how long? Would Sunggyu later come to regret spending all this time with him? What about family? How would that all work out? And women, Sunggyu still really liked women. His relationship with Soobin was still fresh enough that he was still figuring her out and his feelings for her. He liked her, and he enjoyed spending time with her but… ‘But’ there was always a ‘but’ now in every thought Sunggyu had. He couldn’t settle on anything, and it was irritating, for everyone involved.

He had to settle on something soon, though. He could sense it. He needed to close the door on this open relationship in one way or another.

“I can see where you’re coming from,” Bora understood. Her hands were at her belly once again, patting it softly, as to emphasize that fact. Sunggyu (mostly likely) would not have his own biological child if he stayed with Woohyun. And Sunggyu didn’t realize how much he’d wanted one, until he was confronted with the possibility of never having one. It’d take another great feat of magic for Sunggyu to get everything he wanted.

And while Sunggyu was thinking about magic, Bora talked about the last time it’d encountered his life: “But, Sunggyu, you like him both as a woman _and_ a man. What more of a connection are you looking for?”

“I don’t know, and who even knows what Woohyun wants? It’s not just about me,” Sunggyu retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. He huffed. Woohyun was seeing other people too. He insisted on carrying out this open relationship when Sunggyu tried to abandon it. What did that mean? What was Woohyun looking for that he didn’t get from Sunggyu?

Bora began to open her mouth to say something else, but Sunggyu interrupted her, “This is an incredibly awkward conversation to have with an ex. Can we talk about something else?”

“No,” Bora replied with a broad smile. “Because I have to go.” She got up from the table, with a bit of a struggle, and began to walk backwards towards the door, while waving at her friend. “Next time, call me before another year passes!”

“The phone works both ways, Bora!” Sunggyu shouted.  
“I’m busy!” she yelled back and turned her back towards him. “Thanks for lunch!” And Bora was out the door.

Sunggyu’s face fell (if it could descend any lower). That was right. Both Woohyun and Bora left, sticking him with the bill. Sunggyu grumbled as he got up from the table and pulled out his wallet. “Today _really_ sucks.”

He wanted to quit life too along with his job.

* * *

Woohyun didn’t quite know how to pack for this weekend. What were they going to do? Would they even leave the apartment? Probably not. So he threw the bare necessities into a duffle bag. If he needed something, he could borrow it from Sunggyu or comeback here and pick it up.

Now that he was all packed up, there was one thing left for him to do: “I’m going out this weekend, mom. If you need me, call me. I’ll rush right over.” He then gave his mother a tight hug before picking up his duffle bag.

But his mother wouldn’t let him leave that easily. “Staying at Sunggyu’s?” she guessed.

This was awkward. “He’s going to China for a month, so we’re hanging out up until he leaves,” Woohyun explained, anxious to what she’d say next.

But he wouldn’t ever expected that she’d say this: “You know, if you want to move out of here, that’s fine. You don’t need to stay here for me. Your mother can take care of herself.”

Woohyun perked up and a grin broke out onto his face. “You wouldn’t mind if I lived with Sunggyu?” he asked.

His mother shook her head. “It’d give me some peace of mind to see you settled,” she explained.

Woohyun was so overwhelmed by her acceptance of both him and Sunggyu (and them together) that he gave her another tight, long hug. “I love you, mommy,” he told her.

“I love you too,” she replied and squeezed her son just as tightly. And when they let each other go, she waved him off, saying, “Tell Sunggyu that I said ‘hello’!”

“Will do!”

* * *

Living with Sunggyu, it would be a lie to say that Woohyun never thought about it. How could he not when he’d already done it? When they got close through living together? But Woohyun didn’t think they were quite at that point to live together again, until his mother mentioned it, until he had a taste of it by spending nearly three days at Sunggyu’s place, which almost felt like his own now. Why couldn’t they live together?

Oh, right, there was still Soobin, wasn’t there?

But Soobin wasn’t spoken of during those days. There didn’t seem to be any communication between her at Sunggyu at all. And she didn’t really appear to be on his mind, especially when he kept asking Woohyun: “Do you want to come with me?” “You can take a break, right? Fly out for a long weekend?” “A month! If I stay longer than a month, then you _have_ to come, okay? You’ll miss me by then, right?”

“Yes, of course, I’ll miss you,” Woohyun answered, but he wouldn’t make any promises about visiting. It was too short of a notice to plan a trip, but if Sunggyu was there for more than a month, then maybe he’d have enough time to arrange things. He wouldn’t tell Sunggyu that though. It was too much fun watching Sunggyu bargain with him. A part of him wanted to wait and see how much Sunggyu was willing to ‘repay’ him for visiting. But what Woohyun ended up getting was much better than anything he thought of.

And when he first saw it in Sunggyu’s drawers, hidden underneath layers of socks, Woohyun thought it was his. But it couldn’t have been. Woohyun was still wearing his.

“How long does it take you to find a pair of socks? Do you really need them? We’re just going over to the store for a hot second,” Sunggyu nagged as he came into his bedroom to check up on the other.

“What’s this?” Woohyun asked. He turned around and showed the other the simple chain bracelet in his hand. “Did you buy me an extra one? Or was this one for Heeyeon?”

Sunggyu stopped mid-step. His eyes darted back and forth between the bracelet in Woohyun’s hand on the one on his wrist. “Ah,” fell out of his open mouth. He then clamped his mouth shut and came to Woohyun’s side, closing the drawer. “No, it’s mine,” he confessed.

“But you didn’t give birth!”

That drew a snort from Sunggyu, and his apprehension fell away. “It wasn’t supposed to be a reward for…” he caught himself, when his gaze met with Woohyun’s. And the apprehension seized him again.

“Then what is it?” Woohyun urged him.

Sunggyu chewed on his lip for a bit before letting it go and saying, “It was a couples item, but I didn’t think it was the right time to, um, get into that stuff back then…for reasons.” Sunggyu didn’t need to say more than that. Woohyun knew what those reasons were, but Sunggyu still tried, “You know. You needed to be alone. And I…I…”

“I get it. I get it,” Woohyun cut him off. He really didn’t want to revisit all of that, especially when they were having such a pleasant weekend with each other. There was just one thing he wanted to know: “But still you didn’t get rid of it.” Why keep it when neither of them were ready to be a couple? Did Sunggyu have faith that they would be eventually?

Sunggyu would only admit to this: “I don’t get rid of anything. You know that.”

“Nope, you don’t,” Woohyun had to agree with the because, “You haven’t gotten rid of me either.”

Sunggyu frowned. “I’m not _trying_ to get rid of you,” he grumbled through pouting lips. “I don’t want to.”

“In that case, give it to me,” Woohyun commanded and opened his palm up for the other. Sunggyu looked up at him confused. “Give me your wrist,” Woohyun cleared up.

“Hm?” Sunggyu hummed as he put his wrist into the other’s palm. “Is this okay?” he asked when Woohyun was draping the bracelet around his wrist.

But that question made the younger stop, along with his heart. “Why wouldn’t it be?” he asked in return, throwing up a cautious glance at the other.

“Because…” It was because of Soobin, Woohyun guessed. It had to be because of her. Sunggyu must really cared for her maybe more than…“Because I lied back then about this.”

Oh? That was it? Woohyun chuckled and hooked the clasp on the bracelet. That was nothing to worry about. After all, “It’s alright. I didn’t want to be a couple with you back then either,” Woohyun confessed himself and then walked out of the room after grabbing a pair of socks.  
“You didn’t? Are you serious? Y-yah!”

Having a couples’ item meant they were official, right? That was the whole point of couples’ items, after all, to show off your relationship and commitment publicly. Did they finally close the door on their open relationship when Woohyun closed the clasp? Did Woohyun only have to worry about competing with China for Sunggyu’s time?

It really did seem like that, especially as the night wore on. It was honestly the best night, both out of and under the sheets. Woohyun had never felt so loved and appreciated. And he really hoped that Sunggyu felt the same way because Woohyun loved him, with his whole heart. And he wasn’t anxious about loving him anymore. Woohyun planned to confess to it, the next day, their last day together before Sunggyu had to leave. He would do it when the next opportunity arose, which should any time now. Sunggyu was lavishing him with sickly sweet words recently, saying anything to get Woohyun to come visit him (well, anything except those three words). Woohyun could slip in an ‘I love you’ all too easily (and in fact, it’d almost slipped out several times the night before).

But Woohyun wanted to do it today or tonight, since it was their last one together for a while. He was going to end their weekend together on the highest of notes. Or should he say it when he dropped Sunggyu off at the airport? That was also an option. Woohyun chuckled to himself, already imagining the bittersweet and frustrated look on Sunggyu’s face. Maybe tomorrow would be better then, Woohyun thought as he was cooking them breakfast. He’d get a bigger reaction from Sunggyu tomorrow.

And speaking of the sleepy devil now, Sunggyu had just woken up and shuffled out of the bedroom, refusing to move more than he needed to. He also refused to support himself any longer and clung onto Woohyun’s back. He then ‘repaid’ the younger by peppering kisses on his shoulder and neck, but maybe Sunggyu did that so he could casually rest his head on Woohyun’s shoulder. Whatever the case was, it still felt good and it tickled when Sunggyu murmured ‘good morning’ onto his skin.

“Good morning, hyung,” Woohyun said back. He did his best to continue making breakfast, but it was also hard to move with Sunggyu weighing him down like this. “How are you feeling? Sore?”

He felt the older’s hair brush against his cheek while he nodded. “I think I pulled a muscle last night, and my head hurts,” Sunggyu mumbled. He raised his head to look about the room. “It’s too bright in here.”

“Tell that to the sun,” Woohyun joked, gesturing to the window in the kitchen.  
“Stupid sun. Go away,” Sunggyu snarled and laid his head back down, or at least tried to. Woohyun quickly raised his shoulder in response.

“Hyung, you’re going to have to get off of me eventually. I can’t reach,” Woohyun complained and showed the other how he couldn’t even reach the cabinet above him.

“Fine,” Sunggyu gave in and let go. He then opened up the cabinet for the other before going over to the table and slumping himself over that. Woohyun laughed, both at Sunggyu’s lazy version of ‘helping’ and at how the man could barely keep his eyes open. Why was he even awake? He could’ve slept in. The company gave him the day off to prepare for his trip, and Woohyun took the day off to in order to help. They could afford to have an extremely lazy Monday morning.

In fact, Woohyun was going to suggest that they should, “Today, I was thinking that we should…” But he was interrupted by Sunggyu’s phone buzzing. And Sunggyu went from exhausted to wide-eyed and attentive. He was quickly messaging back whoever texted him. And the phone buzzed again and again. Every time it did, Woohyun’s heart sank lower and lower until it was at the soles of his feet. And yet he could look away. He just stood there watching Sunggyu furiously text.

“Who is it?” Woohyun finally dared to ask. Please let it be his mom, Woohyun prayed to any divinity listening. Please!

“Soobin,” and Sunggyu made Woohyun’s heart drop from his feet and hit the floor. Sunggyu put down his phone and looked at the other, with a soft smile. “I told her that I would spend some time with her today.”

“Oh,” Woohyun muttered and hung his head. He really couldn’t look at the other right now. He turned towards the range again and picked up the spatula. He moved the food around in the pan without much thought because his mind was too preoccupied with one thought: Soobin. “When are you two going to meet up?”

“At 1 this afternoon for lunch, she wanted to meet earlier for breakfast, but I wanted to see you off this morning,” Sunggyu answered. There was a screeching noise followed by a grunt. Sunggyu must’ve gotten up from the table, and judging by the pattering of feet, he was coming up to Woohyun’s side again.

But Woohyun still refused to look at him. Actually he wasn’t actually looking at anything in particular because his tired mind was struggling to piece everything together. And this is what he came up with: Sunggyu didn’t know that Woohyun took the day off today. He’d woke up so early because he thought Woohyun was going off to work. And the night before was their last night together, their goodbye. That was why Sunggyu had been so sweet and attentive. And Woohyun had no idea.

But Woohyun tried his best to recover his plans. Okay, so they didn’t have today, but could they have tomorrow? Woohyun finally raised his gaze up to the other’s face, giving him a weak smile. “Do you need a ride to the airport tomorrow?”  
“Soobin is taking me,” Sunggyu replied. “You’re working, so it works out.”

“I could’ve taken time off,” Woohyun grumbled and dropped his eyes back to the pan. What was he even making again? Woohyun didn’t give a crap. “Is she going to pick you up too?”

“We haven’t talked about it yet,” Sunggyu’s voice shook a bit. He was anxious. His touch even fluttered with nerves when he moved his fingertips up and down Woohyun’s back.

“She’ll probably want to,” Woohyun spat back and moved away from the other’s touch.

Sunggyu sighed. “She might be busy,” he predicted.

“_I’ll_ probably be busy,” Woohyun was being stubborn and feeling vindictive. “I have work, you know.”

“Yeah, you’re busier than she is, I guess,” Sunggyu yielded and sounded pretty disappointed. Woohyun looked up at him again, and indeed Sunggyu was disappointed but also resigned. Was he going to give up? Sunggyu’s face was getting cloudier and cloudier, almost impossible to read. And that was probably because of the smoke billowing out of the frying pan.

“Shitting fuck!” Woohyun cursed like never before as he lifted the pan from the burner and set it aside. Sunggyu had opened up the window in the meantime and the two of them were fanning out the smoke. But it was too late. The smoke alarm was blaring, adding to Woohyun’s embarrassment.

When the smoke cleared, Woohyun looked down at the pain and hardly anything seemed edible. “I burned it.”

“It’s okay,” Sunggyu replied and pressed a kiss to his temple. “I’m used to it. It’ll be fine. Let’s just eat. You need to get going.”

Woohyun did end up going to work that day, and it ended up being good that he did. They really needed him that day, unlike Sunggyu who had Soobin help him buy last minute items for his trip. And that really made Woohyun question were exactly he was on Sunggyu’s priority list.

Also was Sunggyu losing ranks on his own list? Woohyun didn’t know it was because of the burnt breakfast that they at, but in comparison to the sweet kisses shared earlier, when Sunggyu kissed him goodbye that morning, it tasted like ashes on his tongue.

Was their relationship up in smoke too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many of you are very irritated with Sunggyu? Everyone? I'm SORRY! But you know me! Things get better *winky face*


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS REALLY THE LAST ONE!!

“You look nervous.”

“I don’t like flying.”

“Really? I would’ve never guessed,” Soobin remarked, brushing her shoulder against his as the two walked over to the security line of the airport. It was as affectionate as they could be, Sunggyu supposed, given that his hands were on his bag and hers were, well, just stuffed into her coat. Her smile at him, though, was warm and soft, and it grew bigger the longer that they looked at each other.

She liked him. Why did that still seem so surprising? They’d been together for nearly three months. And after three months, Sunggyu generally could get a feel of how it would go. Three months passed with Ran Woong, and Sunggyu wanted to marry her. Then three months passed with Woohyun, and Sunggyu was starting to feel similarly. It terrified him. Was that what he really wanted? Sunggyu couldn’t say with complete certainty. His doubts took ahold of him, and the next thing he knew, Sunggyu was suggesting to Woohyun that they should have an open relationship. And here he was, nearly three months after that, with Heo Soobin by his side.

Sunggyu had no idea where their relationship was going. All he knew what that he was going to China, right now. He was a few steps away from the security line, a few steps from not seeing her in weeks.

A part of him felt relieved.

He wasn’t relieved just to get away from Soobin for awhile but from Woohyun too. This whole open relationship wasn’t doing any three of them any good. Sunggyu needed to take a step back and re-evaluate things. As thing would turn out, this extended trip to China wasn’t ruining his life. It was going to save it, hopefully.

Soobin’s shoulder brushed against his again, but it didn’t seem intentional this time. It just happened because they were walking so closely together. “I thought you would be more nervous about managing a new team in, um, China,” she spoke the last word softly, as if it were forbidden.

Catching that Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “Ah, no, that’ll be fine. I’m not worried about that. I know the team pretty well already,” he explained. “I’ve been over there so many fu….I’ve been over there a lot.” He nearly let a curse slip out in front of her, which he somehow had refrained from doing for three months.

But Soobin still caught it and laughed. “I like your confidence,” she remarked, hiding her great grin behind her fist. They were at the line when her laughter abated, and they faced each other. Soobin just might’ve looked regretful as she pulled a hand out of her pocket and patted his upper arm. “There’s nothing to worry about with flying. The pilots have flown dozens of times before.”

“I know,” Sunggyu replied, grimacing. But as soon as he felt the corners of his mouth dip, he picked them back up again. He put on a pleasant tone too, “So I guess this is goodbye.” He let go of his bag for a moment to give her a hug, and Soobin squeezed him back.

“Goodbye, Sunggyu-ssi,” she whispered to him. “I’d give you a kiss, but…” Soobin pulled away and nodded to the old ladies behind Sunggyu, entering into the security line. They were watching the young couple, unashamedly, until they realized that the couple wasn’t going to do anything more than just hug. Sunggyu was just as let down as they were.

“Oh, okay,” he muttered and clutched onto his bag again. Taking a step backwards, Sunggyu waved back to Soobin. “Thank you for the ride, and I guess I’ll see you in a month.”

“It’s going to be a long month,” Soobin raised her voice the further he stepped back. “Take care. Tell me when you get in, hm?”

Sunggyu nodded, still waving, and turned around. That was their goodbye.

But Sunggyu still had someone else to say goodbye to, but he did it from the departure gate, minutes before he was to get on the plane.

**Sunggyu**: I’m about to board the plane. Do you want me to call you when I get in?

**Woohyun**: If you want to.

Sunggyu chuckled at that. Woohyun was playing at being coy, but then again, he answered the message before Sunggyu got onto the jet bridge. And when Sunggyu stepped onto the plane, Woohyun’s coy mask slipped even lower. It made Sunggyu stop in the middle of the aisle and throw his head back with a loud laugh.

**Woohyun**: Where are you sitting on the plane?

**Sunggyu**: They got me a window seat.

**Woohyun**: Maybe your neighbor will switch with you.

The terrifying thing about flying is that you’re not on the ground. Humans are made to be on the ground and not in the sky. Having a seat by the window was just a constant reminder to Sunggyu just how far from the ground he was, and it made him sick with anxiety. Somehow sitting in the aisle made him feel more secure, more ‘grounded.’ Maybe it was because he was farther from the window or because he was surrounded by people at either side or because he could easily run down the aisle when the plane eventually plummets to the ground. In any case, it was Sunggyu’s preferred spot on the airplane. Woohyun knew that. Whoever made his flights didn’t know. Neither did Soobin.

**Sunggyu**: I’ll call you later.

With that message sent, he put his phone back into his pocket and greeted his neighbor who happened to be one of the old women from earlier. “Hello, can I ask you for a favor? Do you mind if we switch seats?”

* * *

Already in his first steps away from everything, Sunggyu already realized this: Soobin didn’t care to ask why he was nervous about flying. She only guessed at why he was nervous. Something about that rubbed him the wrong way, but he couldn’t figure out why. Sunggyu could understand if she was too shy to kiss him ‘goodbye,’ but he couldn’t understand why something seemingly so small made him feel uncomfortable. What did it mean? It had to mean something, right? Sunggyu knew that it meant something when Woohyun’s messages gave him more comfort than Soobin’s soothing touches. It meant that he liked Woohyun more than her. But it wasn’t like Sunggyu was well aware of that already.

But there is a significant difference between being in love with someone and wanting to them to be a family. The typical person falls in love more than they settle down. Sunggyu would like to think that he was the typical person, but here he was, dating a man and a woman at the same time.

How did his life end up like this? Would he still be like this if he hadn’t gone to the restaurant that one fateful night?

Maybe?

Sunggyu sighed and shifted in his seat. When he did, his eyes fell onto the two old women. Before they had exchanged seats, the old women were sitting across the aisle from each other. Now they were side by side, both looking out the window and chatting excitedly. One of them was a little too excited and a ‘darling’ fell from her lips as she pointed to something out the window. Hm? Sunggyu narrowed his eyes and shifted again in his seat. The women were holding hands too. And was that a ring? Sunggyu grinned as he closed his eyes and moved his head to the other side.

It was comforting to see that it could all work out for some couples.

* * *

But would it work out for him? It seemed dubious now (especially since Sunggyu wasn’t quite sure about how he wanted things to pan out). After checking into his hotel room, he called Woohyun first, but the younger didn’t answer. Sunggyu left a voicemail, asking Woohyun to call him back if he was free. And Woohyun did respond later, but it was just a text message that rolled in when Sunggyu was on the phone with Soobin.

**Woohyun**: I’m tired.

Sunggyu stared at the message as he fell back onto his bed. Woohyun was avoiding talking to him. Wait. Sunggyu bolted upright. Was it possible that Woohyun was with someone else right now? He could be! That’s what they both agreed to months ago. Sunggyu rolled his phone in his hands as he contemplated whether or not he should ask. No, Sunggyu didn’t want to know. He didn’t like thinking about Woohyun being with another guy, a guy who apparently ‘tired’ Woohyun out.

With that thought in his head, Sunggyu got up from his bed and went out onto his room’s balcony, letting the cold air cool off his hot head.

A few more steps away, Sunggyu realized this: Woohyun was mad at him, and Sunggyu couldn’t blame him for him. From the moment he suggested dating Soobin, Sunggyu immediately regretted it. The hurt look on Woohyun’s face tore at him, and it still did whenever he could recall it. That was why Sunggyu tried to recant the suggestion altogether. But then Woohyun was adamant about going through with it, about opening the relationship. He also got a date before Sunggyu did. It really sent Sunggyu further down the spiral of questioning and doubt. Did that suggestion cause an irreparable rift in their relationship? Did Woohyun think that Sunggyu was no longer enough for him?

“We both have options, hyung. We should explore them.”

Did that mean Woohyun also had his doubts about their relationship?

Sunggyu would never know because Woohyun wasn’t the best at communicating his feelings, or his plans. Sunggyu later found out through Heeyeon that Woohyun took the day off on Monday. She’d messaged him later that day, wondering why Woohyun showed up for work when he wasn’t supposed to. Was there something wrong? Yes, there was plenty wrong between them, like how Woohyun could be so considerate to the point of irritation. Sunggyu understood that Woohyun didn’t want to tread on Soobin’s toes and let them spend time together. But Woohyun also had no idea how many times already Sunggyu had canceled dates with Soobin in order to be with him. If Woohyun called him and said that he was having a bad day (and needed someone needed to pull his mind out of the little hole it could dig itself into), Sunggyu would then call Soobin and tell her that his ‘best friend’ needed to be cheered up. Then they’d reschedule their date. Of course, she had no idea that he was cheering his ‘friend’ up with hugs and kisses rather than beer and sports on television. Soobin just assumed that Sunggyu was a devoted friend rather than the liar that he was.

Yes, Sunggyu was completely aware that he liked Woohyun more than her. But still Sunggyu’s feet were colder than ice.

However, Woohyun’s cold shoulder felt like absolute zero. Sunggyu sent him a picture of his hotel room. Nothing. A picture of his breakfast? Nothing. Selca? Not even a ‘.’ in reply.

Sunggyu didn’t give up hope. He knew how to make the other speak.

* * *

**Sunggyu**: Do you want me to buy you something while I’m here?

**Woohyun**: Eung

**Sunggyu**: Okay, but it’ll cost a phone call.

* * *

Sure enough, later that afternoon, Woohyun thawed a bit and called.

“Finally!” Sunggyu cheered when he answered the phone and shut his office door behind him.

Woohyun scoffed. “Are you happy now?”

“I am!” Sunggyu wasn’t even going to bother hiding his happiness from the other. “It’s weird, not talking to you for a day. How has your day been?”

“You want to know that badly that you keep texting and calling?” Woohyun’s question was laced with sarcasm.

“Yes,” however, Sunggyu still answered it truthfully, which drew a laugh from Woohyun, who’d appeared to that completely and then told him about his day.

But Sunggyu could still sense a slight bitter chill from Woohyun’s voice. And Sunggyu wished that Woohyun would just admit to being mad at him.

Why wouldn’t he just tell him?

Mad or not, Woohyun began answering his calls now. He only answered though. Never would he start the conversation. Sunggyu could tolerate that for now. It was obvious that Woohyun needed to be reassured of his feelings for him, and that’s exactly what he’d do.

And Sunggyu truly felt a lot for Woohyun. He found himself fiddling with the bracelet on his wrist frequently throughout the workday. Occasionally, he caught himself smiling, just gazing at it. His night felt colder and longer. He was constantly checking his phone for new messages or calls. And that was all for one reason: Woohyun.

Someone joked if Sunggyu had gotten married recently because he was acting like a newlywed that had to fly away from the nest for the first time. When he truthfully answered “No,” someone else chimed in that it would only be a matter of time until he married whoever he was dating.

“Who are you dating, sir?”

“Heo Soobin, a secretary at our branch,” and Sunggyu hated how her name came out like a reflex.

Sunggyu knew that he loved Woohyun, but would he ever let himself acknowledge it?

* * *

For two months, Sunggyu was away in China, spending long days in the office and passing out alone in the hotel room every night. It felt eerily similar to his first weeks as a ‘widow,’ and his team was all too nice to him as well. “It must be hard to be away from home for so long,” they’d often tell him. Yes, it was, especially when his efforts to bring ‘home’ to him failed.

“You said that you’d visit me, if I stayed longer than a month,” he whined to Woohyun over the phone on the night that he was told that his stay was extended.

“Things are picking up around here,” Woohyun was speaking again with that cool tone. Sunggyu took in a breath, about to say something in reply, but the other quickly added, “And my passport expired.”

That dashed every last hope Sunggyu had. “Woohyun-ah!”

“Soobin would probably come if you asked,” Woohyun suggested that with such ease that it irritated Sunggyu. Soobin wasn’t a replacement. She was her own person. She was something different to Sunggyu. She was his girlfriend, and Woohyun was his…Woohyun.

“I don’t want…” Sunggyu caught himself mid-sentence and just groaned, kicking his feet in an annoyed fit.

“You want me?” Woohyun guessed with a chuckle, and when Sunggyu didn’t answer, he was the one to whine, “Hyung!”

“You promised you’d come,” Sunggyu reminded him.

“I said that I’d try,” Woohyun retorted. “I tried and I couldn’t do it.”

“But did you _really_ try?”

And Woohyun answered with the most unconfident “yes” that Sunggyu had ever heard. Woohyun was lying. He still must be mad.

“Woo–”

The younger interrupted him again, “Don’t hold be sulky because I can’t come, okay?”

“Fine,” Sunggyu gave in, just a bit, “But if I have to make this trip again this year, I’m booking two tickets. I seriously can’t take being alone in hotel room anymore.”

“Really? Who will be using the second ticket?” Woohyun teased him, chuckling. Sunggyu could perfectly envision the cheek grin and shoulders shaking in glee. And it made him frown all the more.

Sunggyu let out a frustrated sigh and grumbled, “I’ll find someone.”

Woohyun was laughing heartily now. “I miss you, hyung,” he offered like it was an apology.

“I miss you too,” and Sunggyu took it. He raised up his wrist and gazed at the slender chain. “I wish that I knew when I was coming back.”

“Me too,” Woohyun muttered softly. He then raised his voice only to tease the other again: “Things aren’t the same without you. I can actually hear myself think now without you always talking.”

“Eh, thinking is no good for you anyway. You think too much,” Sunggyu was in a better mood and joked back. “And am I the only one talking? I think not! I caught you talking to the robot vacuum cleaner the other day!”

“It was stuck! I was saving it! It was scared!”

“It can’t feel scared! It’s a robot!”

‘Home’ wouldn’t come to him, but the thought of it cheered up Sunggyu. And eventually the second month came an end, and Sunggyu finally came home, came back to everything.

He knew what he should do.

* * *

**Sunggyu**: Soobin is picking me up from the airport. I can’t meet with you tonight.

**Woohyun**: Neither can I. I’m meeting with someone tonight.

**Sunggyu**: Who?

**Woohyun**: Do you really want to know?

* * *

“Who are you texting, Woohyun?”

“Sunggyu,” Woohyun told his date. He then broke out into an evil chuckle and elaborated, “I’m just giving him a good scare.”

“When is he coming back?” Sungyeol asked as he looked over his friend’s shoulder to read the conversation. “Fuck, Woohyun. Is this why you called me out tonight? To freak Sunggyu out? What are you two doing? Playing relationship chicken?” Sungyeol chided the other and gave him a good shove. Woohyun frowned at that. No, that wasn’t the reason (entirely). He had a sneaking suspicion that Sunggyu would ask Soobin to pick him up, just like he’d asked her to drop him off. Woohyun understood perfectly: Soobin was the partner that Sunggyu could acknowledge in public. And Woohyun couldn’t really forgive Sunggyu for that, which was probably also the reason why Woohyun was being petty right now.

And Sungyeol didn’t like being roped into his pettiness, not one bit. “Do I really have to tell you guys how dumb and immature that is? Shit, I’m younger than the both of you,” Sungyeol kept ranting. “I don’t know how you guys got worse by actually dating, but you did. Congrats.” He finished his tirade by clapping right in Woohyun’s face.

Woohyun slapped down his hands. “He’s going through…”

“Gay panic?” Sungyeol broke in.

Woohyun rolled his eyes. “Don’t act like you know how it feels,” he grumbled and then took a long sip from the soju bottle. The both of them were tucked away into a corner of his mother’s place, and so Woohyun could afford to be utterly crass like that.

Sungyeol scoffed at that. “Well, I’ve seen you go through it already, so I have some idea,” he argued.

Honestly, Sungyeol might have a point. Woohyun was pretty bad when he was in college. It wasn’t like he had a steady boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time. In fact, there was absolutely nothing steady during those times. He’d go out on group dates, flirting with all of the girls there and later making out with one of the guys in a dark, nearby alley. Those were confusing and unsettling times for him, and it took Woohyun a good while until he could settle and commit to a person, a man, who was his boyfriend for a number of years until they grew apart. Since was a quite a journey towards acceptance for him, he was being lenient towards Sunggyu and was patiently waiting for him to finish his journey.

Although Woohyun’s patience was running out.

Sungyeol’s was too. Once he finally opened his mouth disparaging of his friend’s relationship, he couldn’t stop: “At least you can say that you were young and immature. In college, we were all dumb and didn’t know any better. But Sunggyu does. So what’s his excuse? He’s fifty.”

“He’s two years older than us,” Woohyun corrected him (needlessly).

“On a good day,” Sungyeol shot back, just as seriously as the other. They then met each other’s eyes and broke out into a laugh.

“Why am I still with him?” Woohyun ‘jokingly’ lamented as the laughter died down.

“I honestly wonder that sometimes,” Sungyeol replied soberly. He shook his head as he drank. “I just don’t get what he’s doing. You’re a catch.”

Woohyun nearly spat out his drink. Oh, wait, he did a little. “You really think so?” he asked while wiping his chin with his sleeve.

“I don’t want to date you, but I can appreciate you,” Sungyeol explained. He put his arm limply around Woohyun’s shoulders. Yet he wouldn’t face his friend. Instead he took another drink after sneering, “Unlike someone.”

“He appreciates me,” Woohyun fought back, weakly.

And Sungyeol knew it. “If you say so,” he yielded and his arm dropped from the other. After a few moments of silent drinking, Woohyun got up from the table to grab them a few more bottles. When he came back to the table, Sungyeol was looking up at him with wide eyes. He just remembered something. “Hey. Are you still seeing other people too?”

Woohyun shook his head and slid into his seat. “Not tonight, but maybe next weekend,” he vaguely replied as he readied the new bottle for them. Who Woohyun would be seeing highly depended on what a certain man did. If that man acted a certain way, pushed him a bit too hard…The cap popped off the bottle, and it shot across the table.

Sungyeol didn’t pick up on Woohyun’s implications. He was too fixated on the recent past. “Nuh uh. I don’t like it. This isn’t you,” he remarked, shaking his head all the while.

Woohyun had to agree with that. Never ever in his wildest dream would he think that he’d be in an open relationship. He was a romantic, but now he was thinking that he was one of those hopeless romantic that found themselves in unhealthy relationships. Was this really _that_ bad?

“I know. I don’t like it either,” the truth slipped out of his liquored lips.

“Then why are you doing this?”

Woohyun groaned and drug both hands down his face before answering. “I thought…I thought he wasn’t going to see her for this long, okay? I thought it was going to be a few dates, and then he’d…I don’t know.” He reached for the bottle again and took another swig. It almost hurt to swallow it. He took on too much. And it was all hitting him right now. “I’m not going to do this for much longer, I’ll tell you that,” the next truth slipped out. “And if he’s serious about her, then I’m gone.” And it was the first time that Woohyun admitted to it, out loud. The idea had been bouncing around in his head for awhile, and it finally bounced right out.

And Sungyeol seemed glad that it did. His arm wrapped around Woohyun again in a weak attempt at a hug. “It’s a genuine relief to hear you say that. You still have some sense in that head of yours,” he quasi-praised his friend. Sungyeol let go of him after rubbing Woohyun’s head roughly. “Let’s talk about something else.”

Woohyun gladly welcomed the change in conversation. “The game sucks,” he remarked and finally stuffed something into his mouth that wasn’t a soju bottle (rice).

“It totally sucks. What’s with them?”

* * *

**Sunggyu**: No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Just be careful.

“Why did I say that?” Sunggyu lamented out loud. He was at baggage claim, waiting for his bag to come around. From the moment he touched down in Korea to baggage claim, Sunggyu was wondering how to respond to Woohyun’s message. For some reason, he couldn’t ever just say ‘no’ to him. He always had to add something else. Today it was ‘just be careful.’ He hated that he was like this. He hated how affected he’d get over this.

But seriously?! Sunggyu finally came home from China after two months. Woohyun knew what day he was coming back, and he made plans with someone else?! Soobin asked yesterday if she could pick him up. Whereas Woohyun never offered, and he never planned to. Instead, he planned to meet with some random guy rather than his own boyfriend. What was this?

Or, Sunggyu’s eyes grew wide at the realization, what if it wasn’t ‘some random guy’ but some guy that Woohyun had been consistently seeing this whole time? And how would Sunggyu know? He always refused to know!

Sunggyu had to sit down. His mind was falling to pieces. But with nowhere near to sit, he just crouched down on the floor. And he fell on his butt when he heard Soobin call out his name.

“Sunggyu-ssi? Did you get your bag?”

“Oh, not yet. It should be coming soon,” Sunggyu stumbled through his words and he got up onto his feet. “Ah there it is! I’ll get it, and let’s go!”

* * *

Sunggyu had a hard time peeling his eyes away from the phone. It was on silent, but every so often, he’d open it up to the lockscreen, only to see nothing besides emails notifications. But he tried his best to refrain from doing it, after all he was eating with Soobin right now. They were at a pretty nice Italian restaurant too, fancy but still cozy. He ordered them a nice bottle of wine to celebrate his return, and the two of them ordered food that they could barely pronounce. It would be a lovely date if only he could focus on it.

Soobin was being too tolerant of his behavior. When she caught him looking at his phone for the fifth time since they sat down, she just grinned at him and asked if he needed to attend to something. It would have to be work-related, she assumed. But it wasn’t. And Sunggyu sheepishly answered ‘no,’ and after stuffing his phone back into his pocket, he rested his hands upon the table.

And that’s when Soobin slid her hand across the table towards his. He instinctively flipped it over, thinking that she wanted to hold hands. But her hand bypassed his palm, and her fingers hooked around the bracelet on his wrist. “What’s this?”

“Hm?” His mind was still playing catch-up, but he looked down and saw her fingers glide across the chain. “Oh, it’s an old bracelet,” he replied. “Careful. It was pretty cheap, and I don’t know how well it holds up.”

Soobin immediately retracted her hands into her lap. “I’ve never seen you wear it before,” she remarked. Something about the tone of her voice made Sunggyu heat up with guilt. It was so pointed. Did she know? How could she?”

Sunggyu pulled his hands back into his lap too. “I’ve started wearing it recently,” he admitted under his breath, and under the table, he clutched onto that wrist, hiding the offending chain.

“Did _she_ give it to you?”

“Hm? What? Who?” Sunggyu stammered.

Soobin broke out into a giggle. “Who?” she repeated. “Just how tired are you? You barely said anything on the car ride over.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sunggyu didn’t quite know what he was apologizing for. “I’m just jet-lagged.”

The woman hummed and scrunched her nose in thought, until she finally decided to shake her head. “I think it’s more than that,” she argued. “You’re more than just tired. It’s almost like your mind leaves your body for a moment. It happens quite often, almost every day, honestly, even at work. I’ve noticed. It takes you a good minute to notice me when I’m at your desk, or even sitting on it.”

“Ah, that!” he exclaimed with a clap. Perhaps too excited that he could finally answer a question for her. “I get really into my work sometimes. I can get really focused, and everything else fades away.”

“Hm,” there was that hum again, a warning before another disagreement came. “I don’t think it’s just that. I think it’s because of her. It is, isn’t it? You really miss her, don’t you?”

“Beg your pardon?”

Soobin leaned over the table and lowered her voice, “Your wife.” There was a sad, slender smile on her face. “You must miss her. You must still love her.”

He couldn’t meet her eyes. They fell to his lap. “Ah, well…” he struggled to find something to say. But he was just struggling in general to acknowledge the right thing to say about his ‘wife.’

“I mean, of course, you still do. It hasn’t been a year since,” Soobin was stumbling through her words now. Sunggyu’s reaction made her anxious, but there was no way that she was as anxious as he was now. It hadn’t even been a full 24 hours since he last talked to his ‘wife.’ But it had been more than 24 minutes since their last text. And Woohyun still hadn’t responded.

“Have you heard anything about her yet?”

“No,” Sunggyu answered quickly and too honestly. Realizing this, he cleared his throat and added, “I don’t expect that I will. It is North Korea after all.”

“I suppose you’re right. It was silly of me to ask,” Soobin reprimanded herself. And what was really silly of her was how she continued: “It must be hard for you to go to China so often, where you met her. It must not be helping this whole thing.” Sunggyu had no words for her and only stared at her in confusion. And so Soobin kept going: “Even though it’s silly, I hope you can hear something. I just feel like you need more closure. It might help you move on.”

“Can we talk about something else? Please?” Sunggyu begged. And to show how intolerant he was of this conversation, he began eating again. He motioned to her that she should too.

But Soobin didn’t lift a finger. “I’m sorry,” her voice was small. But then the hum came, heralding her discontent. “Actually, I’m not really. I just…we never talk about her. And you shut me down every time I try.”

“I don’t like talking about it,” Sunggyu fought back, hoping that she’d back down again.

She didn’t. “You talk about her with your best friend, don’t you? Why can’t you open up about it to me?” Soobin challenged. And Sunggyu was the one to recoil into his seat. His head hung lowly. The best friend was Woohyun. Soobin was talking about the actual Woohyun now. This was getting far too close for comfort now. Sunggyu was scrambling to find a way to get out of this.

And since he was reeling, Soobin took advantage of it and continued, “We’re in a _relationship_. I know that best friends are best friends and that Woohyun has seen you through a lot and you two are very close, but…I’m your girlfriend. I can be there for you too, if you let me.”

Sunggyu lifted his head again to look at Soobin again. She held his gaze steady, determined. Something about her stubbornness (and the tick with her nose) had always reminded Sunggyu of him.

Soobin slid her hand across the table again, but this time she held his. And her hand never felt so small before until now. “At some point in time, we have to talk about it. We can’t ignore her forever,” she spoke soothingly. “I want to help you and to help ease your pain.” The small, sad smile spread across her face once again.

But there was no pain. Sunggyu wasn’t a widower. The person that he deeply cared for was still alive. Heck, Sunggyu was waiting for him to message him back! He was the exact opposite of a widower!

This was wrong. Everything was wrong. Sunggyu had figured that much when he was in China, but now that he’d returned to it all, Sunggyu _knew_ it was fucked up. What had he been thinking? That dating a woman would ‘straighten’ him out? That he’d be able to have his cake and eat it too? To always be with both? Always hurt them both?

And then there was Heo Soobin. She was nice and pretty, but they honestly didn’t get along well. Soobin chalked everything up to Sunggyu being an ornery widower, a depressed man who needed to be fixed up. But he wasn’t any of that. Just like how she was nothing like Woohyun even though they had similar ticks.

This relationship was leading nowhere. Soobin was caught up in the fantasy of healing a broken heart, and only seemed interested in hearing about his wife and that torrid love story rather than in getting to know him. And her lack of interest had never bothered Sunggyu because he had someone else already interested in him. He had someone else already satisfying his emotional needs, and he was already satisfying someone else’s. That was why it took Sunggyu so long to figure out where his relationship with Soobin was leading to because it was heading nowhere from the start.

And all other relationships would lead to nowhere because he’d already arrived at the place where he wanted to be.

“Soobin-ssi?”

“Yes?”

* * *

**Sunggyu**: I know it’s late, but can you still come over to my place tonight? We need to talk.

“Oh? He just asked me over,” Woohyun cheered and nearly fell out of his chair when he shoved his phone into Sungyeol’s face, nearly knocking the glass out of his friend’s hands.

Sungyeol didn’t seem to mind. His eyes were glued on the phone, brows furrowed in confusion. “Isn’t he with what’s-her-name?” he asked. Woohyun nodded and sat back down in his seat. He slipped on his hoodie quickly and…shoes? Where were his shoes? Ah! There they were! Near the entrance! Sungyeol’s eyes, however, were still on the game and not his friend, struggling to get his shit together. “Wah! What a lame date, calling it off so early. We haven’t even drunk that much,” Sungyeol derided. He then felt the table jerk underneath him. Woohyun knocked into it while getting up. That man was more unsteady on his feet than a newborn fawn. “Or maybe _you_ have. Do you need help getting over there?” Sungyeol offered.

Woohyun shook his head, which caused him to stumble, but he used that momentum to head towards the entrance. “Taxi Ahjussi will take me over to hyung’s place,” he replied. He then plopped himself onto the floor and struggled to find his shoes (or just matching shoes in general).

Sungyeol popped up by his side. “I hope that you give him more specific instructions than that,” he remarked with a nervous laugh.

“Got it!” Woohyun exclaimed as he managed to slip his feet into Sungyeol’s shoes. He then grinned at his friend and waved as he got back onto his feet. “Bye, Sungyeollie!”  
“Bye, Drunky McDrunkerson!” Sungyeol bid him farewell. And once Woohyun was out the door, Sungyeol went back to his table, clicking his tongue and shaking his head. “Poor kid. He’s so eager.” He then let out a deep sigh and lifted his head again. “Auntie! Woohyun went out to meet with Sunggyu-ssi!” he tattled on his friend

Woohyun’s mother came out of the back room at his shout, but she seemed more excited than concerned. “Oh, son-in-law is back from his trip?”

“Oh eung,” was all Sungyeol could reply because he expected a different reaction.

“Well, you can still stay here as long as you’d like. I’ll get you some more food,” she offered and slipped back into the room.

Sungyeol let out everything, a sigh, a groan, maybe even a fart, as he fell back into his chair. “Son-in-law?” he repeated with a scoff. “More like son-in-shit. I hate that guy. He sucks…just like number 9 on this team! Come on! The goal was wide open!”

* * *

How Woohyun was able to make it to Sunggyu’s house was a miracle. Woohyun could partially remember hailing a taxi, but the next thing he knew, he was at Sunggyu’s door, not even bothering to input the code but knocking on the door. He almost knocked on Sunggyu’s face too when he opened the door, but instead Woohyun turned the misstep into a ‘cool’ move and leaned against the doorframe.

Sunggyu, on the other hand, was just astounded at the sight of the other (and already dressed in sweatpants). “I didn’t think you were coming. You never replied to my text,” he confessed happily, but then his grin turned into a frown. “Are you drunk?”

Woohyun giggled and pressed his weight against the doorframe, leaning his head against it too. “Yeah.”

“This is what you do when I tell you to ‘be careful’?” Sunggyu chided him, but his tone was too light to take seriously. And he was smiling a lot. Woohyun could see two Sunggyus smiling at him, and the world was spinning with joy. Then there was a pull at his wrist. Sunggyu was helping Woohyun inside, and away from the helpful doorframe. Without it, Woohyun didn’t quite know how to stand. Sunggyu seemed to be aware of that. “Come in and sit down. You’re going to fall over.”

Woohyun felt like he was going to crash onto the floor at any moment, so he went to the one place that would welcome his crash with pillowy softness. He missed this. The way that it felt. The way that it smelled. The memories it held.

“What are you doing in here?” Sunggyu asked, wavering at the doorway of his own bedroom.

Woohyun pulled himself up into a seated position. “It’s late, and you called me over,” he slurred. He then did his best to wiggle his eyebrows, but in reality, he just scrunched and relaxed his face a few times. “I know what that means.” To drive his point home, Woohyun slapped the spot next to him.

“I wanted to talk with you and not…” Sunggyu stopped and sighed. Woohyun was still hitting the spot next to him, and it seemed like he wouldn’t stop until Sunggyu joined him. So he did. “I guess we aren’t going to be able to have a talk tonight, are we?”

“Nuh uh, no talking,” Woohyun mumbled, barely moving his lips as he maneuvered himself closer to the other. “Just…” He cupped the other’s face and brought their lips together. Two months was too long for them to be apart, to be without this feeling. And it was just like Woohyun remembered it being. Even though Sunggyu tasted like rich, red wine, which clashed with the cheap soju soaked through his tongue.

“Just what?” Sunggyu teased with a laugh when they finally part. His arms were around the younger, holding him close and steady. And Sunggyu laughed even harder because Woohyun was kissing down his neck with a feathery touch. Woohyun’s weight eventually became too much, and they fell back onto the bed, gradually, softly. When they were fully reclined, Sunggyu reached for Woohyun and tried to get the younger to face him. When they did, Sunggyu’s hands held his face gingerly, and Woohyun’s eyes were everywhere but on his. “Hey. Did you really leave who you were with just to see me? I half-expected that you wouldn’t come. Was it because you missed me?” Sunggyu asked. Woohyun moved out of his hold and brought his head back down to Sunggyu’s chest. But he still mumbled out the answer. “Hm? What?” Sunggyu wouldn’t let it drop. He had to know.

So Woohyun lifted his head and repeated, “Just Sungyeol.”

“Just Sungyeol? Hm? You were just hanging out with Lee Sungyeol?” Sunggyu asked while patting (and messing with) the other’s hair. “Yah, were you messing with me?”

Woohyun put a finger onto the other’s lips, sealing them shut. “Sh! No talking,” he commanded. His finger then dragged down Sunggyu’s chin and hooked underneath his jaw. Woohyun shimmed up higher until they were eye-level and he lifted the other’s chin. “Please.”

“Okay, okay, no talking.”

Woohyun leaned down to kiss him again. All he wanted was to regain the feeling that they had on their last night together. Woohyun wanted to feel loved by Sunggyu again. Two months of short conversations, shoved into what available time that they had, hardly gave him that same feeling. It wasn’t the complete feeling of being together that he experienced that night.

And he wasn’t going to get that feeling tonight either. When Woohyun tried to slip his hand underneath Sunggyu’s sweatpants, the other grabbed hold of it. “Not now,” Sunggyu muttered through pants. “Woohyun, let me tell you something first.”

Woohyun shoved a finger against his lips again. “No talking!”

Sunggyu pulled his hand away roughly. “Look, I know you’re drunk but…”

“I’m not listening!” Woohyun exclaimed as he sat up so quickly that the world was spinning again. This time, it scared him. It all scared him. Woohyun put his hands over his ears, but he still couldn’t drown out the sounds echoing through his head: Soobin, the red wine, ‘we have to talk.’ “I’m not listening!”

Those sounds stopped once Sunggyu pulled Woohyun’s hands away and held them to his chest. They were both sitting up now. Sunggyu with his back to the headrest and Woohyun on his lap. And Woohyun’s eyes were on his own hands in Sunggyu’s, like handcuffs. He was trapped.

“Woohyun, this is important,” Sunggyu insisted. And then he went off onto a long, lumbering discourse about who knows what because Woohyun couldn’t follow it. He could barely sit upright, but he blinked and tried to concentrate on what Sunggyu was saying. He soon gave up. Sunggyu’s speech wouldn’t make sense to a sober mind, let alone a liquored on.

He talked about his trip, but he kept slipping back and forth between China and his date tonight. Then all of the sudden the speech traveled to North Korea, and Sunggyu spoke of politics and car salesmen. ‘Would the Koreas ever get together?’ Sunggyu asked that once, twice, maybe three times? Woohyun didn’t know. Sunggyu was talking in circles, and it was making him dizzy and so tired. He felt his eyelids drooping lower and lower at the sound of Sunggyu’s deep voice talking incessantly, melodically, almost like a lullaby.

But then Woohyun heard something that he could understand and couldn’t ignore. Just with that sentence passing through his ears, Woohyun sobered quite a bit.

“What did you just say?”

“Woohyun, it was a joke. I didn’t mean it,” Sunggyu immediately retracted. Eyes wide and terrified.

“The fuck you did!” Woohyun shouted back. He yanked his hands away from the other and rolled off of the bed, with great difficulty because Sunggyu was trying to hold him still. “Get off me. Get off!” He kicked at the other as he shouted. Sunggyu let go, and Woohyun fell onto the floor with a thud.

“Woohyun! Oh my god, are you okay?”

“No!” Woohyun could taste the bitterness of his voice on his tongue. He rolled onto his butt and glowered up at the other. “What the fuck is going through your mind to think that’s okay to say?” He tried to mock the other but it didn’t come out coherently (and it didn’t need to. Sunggyu knew what he said):“Let’s go find the witch again? And what? What do you want her to do to me?” Woohyun got up onto his feet with difficulty. Not only was he still very much drunk but the tears didn’t help either. “What do you want from me? What do you want?” he shouted at the other until his voice rasped.

“It was a joke,” Sunggyu repeated. He was out of the bed too. “Just a joke! Did you not…”

“That’s not it!” Woohyun shook his head and held out his hand, preventing the other from getting too close. Sunggyu took the hint and backed away. Woohyun lowered his hand and brought it to his chest. “It’s easier to accept that you love me if I was a woman, right? It’s easier to be with me, right?” he asked, his voice breaking. He then took a step back, and then another. And with those steps, he was able to see the whole picture. “No. No! Not just easier. More serious. Why aren’t you more serious about me, hyung? Because we’re two men, we can’t…we can’t be a _real_ couple?” Woohyun shouted so loudly that it echoed in his ears.

“I know I haven’t been,,,”

“_I _know you haven’t been!” Woohyun shot back. “I know. I know everything. I know what you want.” He turned around and stomped off towards the door. “Stay with her. I don’t care. I’m done,” he grumbled. This time, he was going to grab whatever first two shoes he could find and go.

But it was difficult to do so with these annoying hands grabbing at his shoulders and the voice trying to lure him back into the fox’s den,“Woo-woohyun, what are you talking about? I…”

“I’m done!” Woohyun stood his ground (figuratively. He was still wobbly at this point. And it didn’t help that he was wearing to left shoes).

“Wa-wait!” Sunggyu stuttered as Woohyun reached for the doorknob.

Woohyun faced him for one last time. “Fuck off,” he hissed below his breath, which he still hasn’t managed to catch. His chest was still heaving and his heart was hammering against his chest until it render itself useless. The hot tears did nothing to extinguish the anger burning inside of him. And worse of all, Woohyun still couldn’t make out Sunggyu’s face as he said his parting words. “I hate you. I seriously really hate you.”

* * *

Sungyeol must’ve had a premonition that something bad was about to happen. He arrived quickly after Woohyun’s call and took him back to his apartment that he shared with his younger brother. There Woohyun didn’t do something like sleep, but rather he just shut down. He didn’t want anything to do with anyone or anything, not even himself.

But Woohyun knew how to rally himself at this point. He didn’t slip back into that depression he had post-partum, but he was significantly more ‘down’ than usual. Still he carried on with life, even though his support system was missing one crucial pillar. But the Parthenon was still standing, even though it was in ruins. So Woohyun could too.

Three days later, his structure was about to take another major hit. Sunggyu was calling him. Woohyun let it go to voicemail, which he’d listen to when he was good and ready and had a beer in hand. It was as he was getting a beer when his phone rang again. And again it was Sunggyu, even though he left a message just a few minutes prior.

Curiosity made Woohyun listen to them a whole lot more quickly than he normally would have.

This was the first message: “Woohyun, I hope you’re not ignoring my calls, but, I mean at this point, I couldn’t really blame you if you are because of the way that I’d been treating you…But it’s not like you’re blameless either! Punk! You weren’t listening to me. ‘We have to communicate openly.’ Bullshit. You fucking suck at communication. And you assumed that I…fucking shit this message sucks. Just delete this one. Pretend that it never happened.”

And this was the second (and apparently ‘improved’) message: “Look, Woohyun…I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. This whole…thing was just really stupid and hasn’t been fair to you. It’s not right. You never really wanted it in the first place, I know, but you let me do it. And it’s all because I wouldn’t accept things. Well…that’s over now. It’s all over. I broke up with her. I’m not going to see her anymore. I’d…I’d rather see you. Please call me back, even if you don’t want to be with me…especially if you don’t want to be with me. I want to know. So call me back.”

Woohyun did him one better. He went to his place.

* * *

“Woohyun,” Sunggyu looked and spoke like he was encountering a ghost.

Woohyun had no patience for niceties and just cut to the chase: “Just tell me straight. Are you done? Are you really done?”

“Done with? Oh, yeah, that,” Sunggyu answered his own question. “Well, honestly it depends on you. If you don’t want to, uh, well…”

“Let’s do this inside,” Woohyun proposed as he slipped into the other’s apartment. Sunggyu’s neighbors didn’t need to hear them fight (or make-up).

And Sunggyu agreed, “Please.”

Woohyun was safely inside, with the door closed behind him, but he wasn’t about to take off his coat or shoes. He wasn’t even going to remove his hands from his pockets. Depending on how the next few seconds played out, he could very well be out that door again. “So you’re saying that if I want to be with you, it stops,” Woohyun reiterated.

“Yes,” Sunggyu replied with a nod, so sure. “And well, it _already_ stopped. We broke up.”

Which just confused the younger. “Why? Why now? Why all the sudden? You’re not just saying this to me just to get me back, are you? Because of the other night?” he asked.

“No!” Sunggyu denied, waving his hands in the air. But then he lowered them, jamming them into his own pockets. “I mean, not entirely because of that. I do want you back, but I also meant it. I really mean it. And I had meant to say it the other night, but…I fucked up. You were fucked up. And it was just a fucking mess.”

Woohyun chewed on the inside of his cheek as he soaked the new information in. He took out his hands, only to cross his arms over his chest. “But you still want to get married and have a family,” he reminded the other.  
“So do you!” Sunggyu exclaimed, gesturing at the other. His face then contorted in confusion when Woohyun shook his head. “You do, don’t you?”

“Hyung, we can’t. You know that,” the younger replied, hanging his head.

“What do you mean we can’t?” Sunggyu asked, while he stepped closer to the other. “We can! We’ll figure it out. We will!” he insisted with such confidence that Woohyun finally raised his head again to look at him. And Sunggyu was just a step away from him. “I made up my mind. I don’t want to do this with anyone else.” At that Woohyun cocked his head, and his hands traveled to his hips. This was unbelievable, so much so that Woohyun had to stifle a laugh. Where did all of this confidence in them suddenly come from? It was surreal, unreal. And the next thing to spill out of Sunggyu’s mouth really had Woohyun question everything: “I love you.”

Oh, Woohyun couldn’t laugh at that. He even felt it hard being so close to the other when he felt so conflicted. This was all too overwhelming. “I can’t…” Woohyun muttered as he turned back towards the door. And when he did, a sharp gasp came from behind him and a sharp grip took his shoulder. Woohyun craned his neck back enough to glare at Sunggyu’s hand, and the older easily let go. Woohyun craned his next back even further, and he saw Sunggyu with both of his hands up in the air, eyes so wide that they were almost round, and nervously chewing at his lips. Sunggyu looked positively terrified at the idea of Woohyun leaving.

“You can’t what? What can’t you do?” Sunggyu dared to ask when Woohyun lingered in front of the door for a second too long.

Woohyun sighed and turned back towards the door, hanging himself back. “I can’t decide,” he grudgingly admitted below his breath. “I’m still really mad at you.”

“I know,” Woohyun couldn’t see Sunggyu, but it sounded like he was smiling. Why? “Sleep on it, here.”

Woohyun scoffed and half-turned towards him. “And with you?” he asked. Sunggyu nodded, to which Woohyun quickly shook his. “That wouldn’t help.” He then narrowed his eyes on the other. “You can’t fix everything by saying you love me.”

“Then how can I fix it?” Sunggyu asked in earnest.

“By actually loving me. No one else, just _me_.”

“I can do that,” Sunggyu acted as if it would be no trouble at all. Well, he already broke up with Soobin, so he was acting on it already. “That’s not hard at all.”

“Okay,” the younger accepted it.

For a moment or two, they just stared at each other, Sunggyu with a slight smile and Woohyun with a sulky expression. Sunggyu finally broke the silence, “So are you not going to leave? Are you staying?”

Woohyun’s head rolled down again, eyes on his feet. “I took the last bus here, and I don’t want to hail a taxi,” he mumbled.

Sunggyu laughed. “You’re ridiculous,” he remarked. “Take your coat off and make yourself at home.”

And Woohyun did just that. Since it was already late, the two could only talk for a short while longer before they needed to go to bed. Woohyun was grateful that they did talk more though. It put his heart further at ease, and he could act more naturally with the other, like they used to. Slowly but surely, they were falling back into their usual routine. Woohyun even took out the heartburn medication that Sunggyu regularly forgot to take even though he’d usually have a flare after eating a late dinner.

“This is why I missed you,” Sunggyu commented after taking it from the other. He then popped the pill into his mouth.

“Missed me?” Woohyun laughed in disbelief. “It was only three days.”

Sunggyu swallowed water and the pill down harshly. “So?” he asked, followed by a cough. “Is there a rule that says I can’t miss you after three days?” It was probably a rhetorical question, given the fact that Sunggyu left the bathroom to go into the bedroom without waiting for the other to answer.

Or did he know that Woohyun was going to follow him anyway? “No, guess not,” Woohyun gave in and watched the other settle into his bed. After he did, Sunggyu rolled over onto his side, beckoned the other to come over, and patted the spot next to him. The past three days, Woohyun didn’t foresee himself ever getting into that bed again, and when he first came to Sunggyu’s apartment today, he still didn’t think he’d be in this bedroom just hours later. But now there was no place he’d rather be. So he crawled right in next to the other. “I missed you too, hyung,” he confessed after snuggling up close to Sunggyu.

“But do you love me?” Sunggyu asked, wrapping his arms around the younger. But Woohyun didn’t even feign to make an answer. He just ignored the question and just let his hands roam along the familiar paths of the other’s body. Sunggyu let out a frustrated sigh. “To be honest, I never thought I’d see the day when I told you it twice and you don’t say anything back.”

When he was speaking, Woohyun’s gaze drifted slowly back up to his, and he held it for a few heartbeats after Sunggyu finished, waiting just long enough for Sunggyu’s expression to crumble. At that moment, Woohyun kissed him.

“Is that a yes?” Sunggyu sounded worried, and it reminded Woohyun of his terrified expression earlier that night. It was cute, so cute that Woohyun continued to press light kisses up to the other’s ear and hummed.

“Eung.” He turned his lips to brush against the older’s ear as he whispered. “I’m showing you.” After which, Woohyun pulled away and sputtered into a laugh at Sunggyu’s disgruntled face.

“Get off it,” Sunggyu sneered, pushing the other slightly away from him. But a half-second later, Sunggyu was on top of him, tickling him, mocking him saying ‘I’m showing you.’ But Woohyun (literally) wouldn’t take it laying down and ‘fought’ back. They had to stop shortly afterwards and call it a truce. The both of them were too well aware of each other’s soft spots and weren’t afraid to take advantage of it (which probably extended further beyond just tickle-fighting in their relationship). But they couldn’t harbor a grudge at each other over it. As well as knowing each other’s soft spots, they knew every other spot, soft or hard, good or bad, that composed each mosaic of the person that they were. Truces followed shortly behind the steps of fights. Apologies came after hurt. And love was with them through it all, even through the ‘hate.’

That was what family was like. More than lovers, Woohyun and Sunggyu were family.

But Sunggyu still wanted to hear those three words from the younger, in spite of all of the ‘showing’: “I get if you don’t want to say it tonight, but you’ll have to say it to me soon. This is getting ridiculous. Everyone knows that you love me.”

They both of them were on their backs, laying side by side, breathing heavily. Woohyun barely had the breath to chuckle but he did anyway. “Really? Everyone?” he teased.

Sunggyu rolled onto his side again, facing the other. His fingers were playing at Woohyun’s shirt. “Eung, everyone and their mothers,” he answered through a pout.

“Then they can tell you for me,” Woohyun shot right back, and Sunggyu shot him right in the arm with a sharp jab. “I’m kidding! Owie, that hurt,” Woohyun lamented as he pouted deeply and clutched onto his arm as if he’d been actually shot.

“Sorry,” Sunggyu quickly apologized, sneaking his hand underneath Woohyun’s to massage the tender spot. “I just…don’t like being the only one who says it.”

“Hyung,” Woohyun called out to him and placed his hand over Sunggyu’s. He flipped onto his side to face him and laid their hands over his heart. “I wouldn’t be here right now, if I didn’t care about you.”

Sunggyu huffed, “So you can say that, but you can’t…” And Woohyun smacked him with a pillow before he could finish.

* * *

Woohyun would say those words when he was good and ready, and when every last bit of hatred and resentment against Sunggyu melted away. But for now, as they drifted off to sleep together, Woohyun hated how late Sunggyu’s confession came. Sunggyu always seemed to wait until the last possible moment to say ‘I love you.’

* * *

When Woohyun woke up the following morning, he was alone in bed. With his eyes half-closed, Woohyun slid his hand over to the empty spot next to him. It was still warm, and he exhaled deeply while burying his face into the pillow. Sunggyu was still nearby, possibly the bathroom. No, wait, not the bathroom. There was a ruckus coming from the kitchen, followed by a low hissing curse. And that was Woohyun’s cue to roll out of bed.

“Good morning,” Woohyun mumbled as he shuffled into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. And when his eyes adjust to the light (and the morning), he saw Sunggyu with his hands in the sink, water pouring down on them.

“Oh good, you’re up,” Sunggyu truly sounded relieved. “How about we just go out for breakfast? I can’t do this right now.” He pulled his hands from the sink and showed the red, wet mess to the other. “I already burned myself.”

Well, that woke Woohyun up. “How?” he asked as he came up to the other. “Let me look at it,” he commanded and took Sunggyu’s hand into his. Soon he found which finger had been burned. It was red and angry, and Woohyun just wanted to soothe it. So he put it into his mouth, his tongue brushing against the burn.

“Don’t do that,” Sunggyu yelped as he yanked his hand away from the other. “I need to run it under water again.” But before he could put his hand underneath the tap again, Sunggyu’s phone rang from the bedroom. And the burn was forgotten as he scurried off to answer it. “Oh, who could it be?”

Woohyun’s heart sank to his stomach while he watched Sunggyu disappear into the bedroom and heard him answer the call. Not knowing what else to do, Woohyun prepared a cloth for the other, soaked in ice-cold water, turned off the tap, and followed Sunggyu into the bedroom, who had already finished the call and was tossing his phone onto the bed. “Here,” Woohyun offered the cloth to Sunggyu. But the older wouldn’t take it and just held his injured hand out to the other, who gave in and wrapped it. While he did, Woohyun dared to ask, “Who was it? Soobin?”

Sunggyu sputtered into a laugh. “No, it was my bank with an offer,” he replied. “Soobin won’t be calling me ever again. I told you. We broke up.”

Woohyun hazarded a glance up at him, still holding onto his hands and applying pressure. “She won’t try to get back together with you?”

“Not with the way I left things,” Sunggyu responded with a shake of his head. “I told her that she was right. I’d never get over my wife, and I met someone who was basically her in another body, and I wanted to make things work with that person.”

“_That_ person?” Woohyun picked out.

“Eung,” Sunggyu grunted. “If she assumes that you’re a woman, that’s on her.”

Woohyun looked down at their hands, and from underneath the cloth, he could see a glimmer of silver around his wrist. Did Sunggyu really have it on this whole time? Did he just put it on this morning? Woohyun’s finger brushed against it as he asked, “It really took you this long for you to realize that you wanted to work things out with me?”

“Yes,” Sunggyu answered bluntly and probably immediately regretted it after seeing the other’s face fall. Woohyun let him go too. “Aish,” Sunggyu hissed as he held the cloth on his own. He wouldn’t look up at the other. “I don’t fucking know what I was thinking.”

“I don’t either,” Woohyun admitted. “Did you think that I’d stick around and be an uncle to your kid? That she’d never find out about us?”

“I wasn’t thinking at all, not a single shit,” and the curses kept flying out of his mouth as he threw back his head. “Ah fuck, I was being stupid, really fucking stupid.”

Woohyun tucked in his lips, fighting back from smiling. This, this was what he need for the last bit of darkness in his heart to be chased away. “You might be really fucking stupid, but I really fucking love you,” Woohyun finally said it, after over a year. Sunggyu, however, didn’t seem to know if it was a joke or if it was for real. He looked up at Woohyun, frowing in confusion. So Woohyun showed him again how earnest he was. He hugged Sunggyu and said, “I mean it. I love you, hyung.”

Sunggyu brought the other even closer to him and rest his head on his should. “Me too. We’re going to make this work,” he promised.

“We will,” Woohyun believed in it this time, even if he was laughing as he said it. But that was only because the wet cloth was dripping down his back. “You’re getting me wet.”

“Sorry,” Sunggyu apologized and quickly let go. “Come on, let’s go get breakfast,” he suggested and head towards the closet to change. Before he got there, he turned around and showed his injury to the other again. “Do you think I can bring this?”

“Let me get a better look at it,” Woohyun offered and came up to his side again.

And he’d never leave it.

* * *

“Are you sure?”

While they’d been dating for a long time. they’ve been exclusive for about a month when Sunggyu asked the question. But Woohyun hesitated before giving him an answer. This was a big for them. It wasn’t a decision to take lightly.

“Do you not want to?” Sunggyu was getting upset because Woohyun answered with ‘are you sure’ instead of the expected ‘yes.’ He huffed, “Do you not want to move in with me? What? You don’t want to be ‘tied down’?”

“No, that’s not it,” Woohyun replied. He was still sitting on the couch, while Sunggyu had leaped off of it and was now pacing in front of him.

“Then what is it? What’s wrong? I-is it too fast?” Sunggyu stammered. He then waved his hands in the air after thinking of something, “I didn’t mean to presume too much. I just thought it’d be easier to move-in together, you know.”

“So you just want me to move in with you to split the cost of rent?” Woohyun asked with a sly grin.

“No.”

“Ah, because it’s easier to sleep with me when I’m already in your bed?”

“No!” Sunggyu finally caught onto Woohyun’s teasing and stopped right in front of the younger, with his hands on his hips. “Stop it, you’re doing this on purpose. Are you trying to make me mad? What do you want me to say?”

“I’m teasing you just a little, but I’m also genuinely asking. Are you sure?” Woohyun became serious once again. He lifted himself from the couch and stood next to the other. “If we move in together, it’s just a matter of time until our relationship is questioned, and we’d have to come out. Are you sure it’s okay?” he explained his worried to the other.

And honestly it was kind of amazing how much Sunggyu thought and didn’t think about things. Especially when his heart was involved, once he settled on something, he just went for it. He had settled on Woohyun, for good, but he seemed to have forgotten to ‘come out’ to his family. Having another guy suddenly move in with him would make his family curious.

But it didn’t matter. Sunggyu was still settled. “We love each other, right?” he was trying to convince the other. “So it’s okay...I mean, it’ll be okay down the line. I know there’ll be problems and stuff. It’ll be hard, but I really think we can make this work. Your mom already like us, right? She knows.”

“She does, but my dad doesn’t,” Woohyun revealed. His father probably still had hopes that Woohyun was going through a ‘phase’ and would marry a woman later in life. Heck, his father had no idea that Woohyun _was_ a woman for a short time. Their relationship wasn’t the greatest, but it wasn’t the worst either. But Woohyun had no idea what Sunggyu’s parents were like. What would happen to him?

“Oh, right,” Sunggyu mumbled, continuing their conversation. His hands went to the younger’s arms, rubbing them gingerly. “Look, Woohyun. Even if things don’t go perfectly, I think that we can still get through this okay. If we work at it, we can have, I don’t know…we’ll have what we had before, but for real this time. Don’t you want that too? You said you did,” his voice grew quieter as he spoke and his hands slowed to a stop.

“Yeah, I did…and I still want that,” Woohyun admitted and moved in to hug him.

“Then why are you giving me a hard time about this?” Sunggyu asked as he clutched onto the other. “Will you move into my apartment with me or not?”

“For now,” Woohyun finally answered. And he felt Sunggyu grow stiff in his embrace. Woohyun pressed a smile again his shoulder. “Until we find a new place.”

“Aish,” Sunggyu swore as he peeled the other off of him. “Stop giving me heart attacks,” he complained as he slunk off into the bathroom.

Woohyun followed him, saying in a singsong tone, “Hyung, I love you.” He clung onto Sunggyu’s back swinging them back and forth. “I love you so much. You know that, right? I _love _you. And you love me, more than I love you.”

“Hah!” Sunggyu scoffed and wiggled out of the other’s hold. “Get off.”

Before he let go, Woohyun pecked his cheek. “Let’s be together forever,” he proposed to the other.

“I won’t be able to last that long,” Sunggyu retorted.

“Of course not, we’ll both die before then,” Woohyun replied with a slight chuckle. His hand moved up and down the other’s back. “But we can try. Hm?”

Sunggyu glanced over at him as Woohyun rubbed his back. He then leaned in for a quick peck and said what the other was waiting to hear, “I love you too, Woohyun…Now go away. I have to pee.”

“Okay, bye,” Woohyun said as he back out of the room, waving.

But Sunggyu bolted out of the bathroom, after him. “Wait! You’re staying the night, right?”

Woohyun grinned and nodded. “I’m just going to watch tv for a bit.”

“Okay, just making sure,” Sunggyu muttered before slipping back into the bathroom.

When he did, Woohyun laughed. Did Sunggyu really think that Woohyun was going to slip out of the apartment when he was in the bathroom? Kim Sunggyu was silly, incredibly silly. But as silly as he was, Sunggyu was very serious about their relationship. There was no reason to question it anymore.

“Hyung can’t live without me.”

* * *

The following day, Woohyun went out to buy them couple rings. Moving in together was pretty official, and so Woohyun wanted them to have a more official sign that the both of them were taken than the bracelets. And just like with the bracelet, he asked Sunggyu to give him his hand and just slipped it on. However, this time, he told Sunggyu not to take it off. “Of course, I won’t,” Sunggyu replied as he inspected the ring. “We probably should’ve gotten these things sooner, right? These are better than the dumb bracelets.”

“I like the bracelets.” They proved that in both lives he lived Woohyun belonged to Sunggyu…and that he was the only man in Korea to ever give birth.

A few days later, Sunggyu came home with another thing to cement their commitment together, albeit a very practical one: a joint bank account. It was their ‘together’ money. They could literally invest in their future now, save up for future joint purchases. And there were many of those in the following months. They went on a ‘honeymoon.’ They bought new furniture for the apartment, including a bed. But mainly they were saving up for the largest purchase of their life, which was yet to come, yet to be discussed.

They couldn’t discuss that now because there were also several changes over the past months. First, Sunggyu quit his job after being hired at a Korean tech company. Although the pay was a bit less (at the start), he wouldn’t have to make long trips overseas ever again. And that was well worth it for him. As for Woohyun, he began hosting some shows with Heeyeon, which ate up more time than he expected it to and was a bit of a rough transition.

Then there were family troubles. Woohyun’s father didn’t quite approve of their relationship, but he tolerated it. Woohyun judged that it would take a long time before Sunggyu would be considered a part of “them,” in his father’s eyes. And at first Sunggyu’s parents didn’t like their relationship, at all. But Sunggyu made a special trip back home to talk through it with his mother, explaining everything that happened between him and Woohyun. He had inherited his belief in the supernatural from her, and so it was easier to make her understand his feelings. And she did. His mother believed it to be an act of God in some strange way, like Sunggyu did. She couldn’t be upset with that, if it was His plan. She also couldn’t be too upset with Sunggyu because he promised that he’d still give her grandchildren. Like Woohyun’s mother, she only wanted to see her son happy and settled. And it fell on her to convince Sunggyu’s dad, and he did eventually come around after actually meeting Woohyun. “He fits in so naturally with us, doesn’t he?” Sunggyu’s mother asked her husband, when she thought the other two weren’t listening. Sunggyu’s father only grunted in approval, but approval was all that Woohyun needed.

It was all official now. They were official. Sunggyu and Woohyun were in it for the long haul.

* * *

But that didn’t mean that Woohyun still didn’t have reservations. He still had a major one, and it came out one night as Sunggyu was brushing his teeth: “Do you like me better this way? As a man?”

Sunggyu came out of the bathroom, with the toothbrush hanging from his mouth, staring at the other laying on the bed with round eyes. He then pointed to the toothbrush and acted like his mouth was glued shut as he darted back into the bathroom.

“Just be honest with me, hyung,” Woohyun shouted after him. “Be honest with me, so I can stop wondering.”

He heard Sunggyu spit, and the older’s voice soon echoed out of the room, “Yeah, but then you’ll be fixated on my answer.”

“Either way you lose,” Woohyun replied in a singsong voice.

Sunggyu poked his head out of the bathroom and glared at the other. “Why do I feel like that’s often the case with you?” he asked. Woohyun just gave him the cutest smile that he could muster, at which Sunggyu sighed and silently begged Woohyun to give him a moment. Woohyun nodded and waited for the other to finish up in the bathroom. Afterwards Sunggyu came out and sat on the bed, still not looking at the other. “Yes and no,” he answered.

And Woohyun got it. “It would be easier if one of us was a girl.”

“Yes! Absolutely yes,” Sunggyu exclaimed with a clap of his hands. “I wouldn’t have to fight with my dad about bringing a girl home.”

“He came around,” Woohyun added as he sat up.

“Barely,” Sunggyu grumbled and scooted closer to the other.

And Woohyun did too He also dropped his voice, “So what’s better?”

Sunggyu hummed in thought, head hanging again. “Having sex you when you were _that_pregnant was really awkward, looking back on it, especially since it wasn’t really you and…you know. You were there,” he ended awkwardly.

And it drew a chuckle from Woohyun. “I was.”

“So I don’t need to tell you,” Sunggyu replied with a shrug. “It was nice, but I also don’t _need_to do it again.”

Woohyun kept chuckling as asked. “Anything other than ‘the sex is better’? I mean, I wasn’t going to be pregnant forever, if I got stuck.” Sunggyu kept silent. He was thinking it over, and unlike usual, Sunggyu was picking his words carefully. Woohyun didn’t know if he had the patience for that right now. He put his arm around the other and jostled him a bit. “What else? Hm? Am I just a body to you? Male or female?”

Sunggyu rolled his eyes. “Of course you’re not,” he retorted. “But it’s hard to put into words. It’s like, now…you are more…you this way. You’re more confident, funny, pretty.”

“Pretty?” Woohyun picked out. That was the last thing he thought Sunggyu would say.

“Yeah.” Sunggyu nodded. The words came more easily to him now, “It was almost like your personality was put through a filter before, so _this_better. This is Nam Woohyun. But…” he let out a sigh and patted Woohyun’s stomach. “I guess this thing is only going to birth once, huh?”

Woohyun batted his hand away. “It’s your turn for the next one, hyung.”

“Hm, I’ll pass,” Sunggyu barely gave it a second of thought. He then began to settle into bed, shimming underneath the covers, and Woohyun did the same. But he didn’t take his usual sleeping position. Instead he cuddled up next to Sunggyu and whispered, “Thank you,” before pressing a kiss on the older’s cheek. Sunggyu turned towards him and kissed his lips, once, twice, until he felt satisfied.

“Is your mind at ease?” he asked the younger with their lips still touching. When Woohyun nodded slightly, their lips moved against each other. And so Sunggyu took advantage of it and kissed him again, and Woohyun deepened it.

While there’d always be doubts about their relationship (but hey, that’s just life), Woohyun had one less. Sunggyu loved him more as a man than a woman because Sunggyu loved _him_.

And like Woohyun, Sunggyu himself had a question that he’d been holding in: “Woohyun, we never really talked about it, but how was it for you back then? What was it like?”

Woohyun shifted to look at the other better. “You really want to know?”  
“I asked, didn’t I?” Sunggyu replied with a soft smile. “I want to know.”

“Well,” Woohyun began. “It was some of the best and worst times of my life.”

Almost two years since the switch, and Woohyun was finally able to open up about all of it to Sunggyu, including his conflicting feeling for the other and his depression afterwards. Two years might seem too late for some people to have this conversation, but two years was just enough time for them to move on.

And move on they did.

It started with a new apartment, with three bedrooms, a larger kitchen, and just more space in general. It was closer to an elementary school and was in a quiet neighborhood with several young families. They hadn’t moved in yet. They were still packing when they finally discussed it.

And it started with Sunggyu exclaiming: “Oh right! We need to move the things out of the storage unit!”

“Storage unit? What storage unit?”

For all the time that Woohyun lived with Sunggyu, the older never showed him the storage unit that they both technically owned in the underground parking garage. But once they opened the door to it, it was obvious why Sunggyu never did. For one, it was completely filled with boxes and furniture. And second, these were boxes of things and furniture for Bobae. When the older shoved these things into the storage unit, Woohyun didn’t know. Actually until this point he never wondered where it had all gone. How did he forget that Sunggyu never got rid of anything?

“It’s been two years. Why haven’t you gotten rid of this stuff?” Woohyun asked as he walked into the room and picked up the first thing he came across. It was labeled ‘clothes’ and Woohyun was overcome with the desire to tear it open and examine the clothes he’d picked out years ago.

“It’s not mine,” Sunggyu replied in a jovial tone as his hands gripped at the crib’s railing. “Some girl dumped it in my apartment and left.”

Woohyun chuckled, “How rude of her.”

“Right?” Sunggyu agreed. Woohyun turned around to show the other the box, but when he did, he noticed Sunggyu’s apprehensive smile and white knuckles. The words caught in his throat. The older’s voice even shook a bit as he brought up, “But it’s still good stuff…and we could still use it, right?”

“You kept all of this in case one of us had a baby?” Woohyun ventured a guess. Did he keep all of this for either of them or for both of them? Woohyun had to know.

“First, it’s your stuff, Woohyun. And second, I wasn’t about to build another crib. Let’s just say that,” Sunggyu replied.

Woohyun put down the box and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you want to have a kid?”

“Um well yeah, I keep telling you that I do. Ever since the whole switch thing, I thought that having one would be pretty nice. I could actually see myself doing it,” Sunggyu stumbled through his answer. He finally let go of the railing and opted to beat his hands against it instead. “I’d be good at it, don’t you think?”

Woohyun grinned. Indeed Sunggyu had told him on multiple occasion that he wants to have a family. But neither of them had ever spoke the words ‘I want a kid,’ until now. Woohyun’s smile grew wider. The dream the both of them had two years ago wasn’t dead. They could recover Bobae.

“Maybe we can ask the witch to help us out,” Woohyun joked, but Sunggyu’s face stiffened. “I’m kidding.”

Sunggyu shook his head several times. “I wouldn’t want to ask anything from that woman. She terrifies me,” he grumbled.

Woohyun looked back down at the box of baby clothes and recalled when he draped some of them over his belly, ‘trying them on’ for Bobae.

“So do you want to do it?”

“No! I don’t want to be turned into a woman!” Sunggyu quickly argued. “I don’t care if it’s ‘my turn.’ I didn’t piss a pregnant woman off and…”

“No, hyung, do you want to adopt a kid?” Woohyun cut him off. “Should we start looking into it?”

“Oh,” Sunggyu muttered and blinked a few times. Still dazed, he nodded and replied. “Yeah, we should. But it should wait until after the move.”

Woohyun pouted and feigned a whine, “We can’t pick up a baby tonight?”

“Haha,” Sunggyu laughed dryly. “I meant after the move, we’ll look into it, okay?”

“Okay,” Woohyun agreed, smiling to big that his cheeks were hurting. He then walked back over to Sunggyu, giving him a quick but tight back hug, before coming around to the other side of the crib. “Let’s carry this together,” he offered. And the both of them lifted it with a grunt. As they were carrying it out of the room, Woohyun praised, “Oh, it’s still sturdy.”  
“Of course! I did a good job,” Sunggyu would’ve patted himself on the back too if he could. “I’m a master builder.”

As they continued to clear out the storage room, they once again reminisced about those times and excitedly talked about raising a child, what roles they would play, things that they’ve talked about two years ago. They were really on their way to living their dream once again.

* * *

“She’s ready to see you.”

Woohyun wasn’t ready though. He was far from it. He’d been waiting for this moment for so long, and it was finally here. And he was scared shitless. Woohyun didn’t know how else to overcome his nerves than smoothing down his hair and straightening his clothes. But what did erase a few nerves was the hand on his back.

“You look fine. It’s a baby,” Sunggyu whispered into his ear as he pushed the other down the hall. “She can only see black and white now. She won’t care how you look.”

“Shut up,” Woohyun muttered under his breath. And the both of them came to a halt in front of the open door of the hospital room.

When they applied at the adoption agency, Sunggyu and Woohyun assumed that they’d be getting an older child, and they were fine with that. But then a young girl became pregnant, who was unable to (and didn’t really want to) raise the child. Even though they met through the agency initially the girl was very indirectly connected to Woohyun through a friend of Heeyeon’s, and so Woohyun and Heeyeon sat down with her and shared their story. Woohyun could honestly relate to the girl, carrying a child that would be raised by someone else, and he was upfront about how he felt about it afterwards. And for his honesty, the girl decided to give her child to the couple.

However, that decision could’ve been revoked at any point in time, and there were times when the girl nearly took it back, claiming she wanted to raise it on her own. And that feeling only got stronger, the closer to the due date she was. But Woohyun couldn’t blame her for feeling that way. After all, he almost stole Yunhee. So he could understand her, but his heart was bruised from all of the hits.

Sunggyu wasn’t so understanding and expressed his frustration with the girl more than Woohyun did.

But then they got the call. Days after giving birth, the girl finally signed the adoption papers. The child was finally theirs and she was just within that room.

Sunggyu pushed him inside because Woohyun was hovering in the doorway for a bit too long. Sunggyu was more eager than nervous to see their child, but given that, he still let Woohyun hold her first.

“Are you ready to meet her?” the girl asked as soon as they were inside. Woohyun nodded and held out his arms to take the newborn, who was so small, so pink. She felt light and warm in his arms.

“Hi,” Woohyun spoke in hushed tones as cradled the child in his arms. “Hi, baby.”

Sunggyu was at his side, cautiously reaching out to touch her. “Hello, little one.”

“This is the right decision,” the girl spoke with a rasp. She’d been crying but still managed to smile. “You guys look so happy.”

And they were. They were really happy. This moment was literally a dream come true. The two men exchanged smiles before Sunggyu looked over at the girl and asked, “What’s her name? We agreed that you’d give her a name.”

“You remembered?” the girl seemed very pleased that they remembered their promise. “I know it sounds silly, but her name is Bobae. I…”

Bobae? Did Woohyun hear that correctly? He lifted his gaze from the child and that’s when he noticed the old woman standing next to the girl, unnecessarily checking her vitals. It was the witch! Woohyun froze as Sunggyu’s laughter rang through his ears. Did he not see the witch? No, Sunggyu didn’t. Only Woohyun did. And the witch turned around, winked at him, and then left the room.

Sunggyu soon shook the other out of it. “What do you think about it, Woohyunnie? The name?”

“Oh,” Woohyun muttered, quickly gathering himself. He smiled at the girl. “It’s perfect. It suits her. It really does.” He raised the child up higher on his chest, holding her more securely. His eyes fell down to her, to Bobae, who looked nothing like him. Chances are that she would never look like him or Sunggyu for that matter. But that didn’t matter. They were her fathers, always. Woohyun’s heart felt healed of all its pain and he leaned down to kiss her. “She’s mine.”

“She’s ours,” Sunggyu corrected him.

“No, all mine. Get your own,” Woohyun snapped back. He then gave an apologetic grin to the other. “I’m kidding.”

“Haha, very funny. Just let me hold her now,” Sunggyu said and maneuvered to take Bobae. It took them awhile to learn how to pass her, but they’d get better at it over time. After all, this was their first day of being dads. Give them a break.

“Hello, Bobae,” Sunggyu greeted her once she was safely in his arms. “I’ve been waiting _so_long to see you.”

Indeed, they’ve waited so long for this moment. But what came afterwards was a whirlwind of paper signing, transactions, instructions, and what have you. Hours later, they finally came home to their large apartment. They briefly showed Bobae her bedroom, who was asleep the entire time, but it didn’t matter to them. They were too excited. They finally got to bring their daughter home.

But that excitement wore the three of them out. The three of them were laying on the bed. Woohyun was humming softly with Bobae laying naked on his bare chest. She was soothed by the beat of his heart. Earlier Sunggyu had been doing the same, but not he was fast asleep on his stomach, snoring, still shirtless and still his hand on Woohyun. It had been on Bobae’s back, but it’d slipped down as he drifted off into slumber. All of this gave Woohyun a weird feeling of déjà vu even though he’d never lived through this. He might’ve dreamed of it as some point, but this was far better than a dream. It was real.

Woohyun truly loved his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who read this. I really didn't think I'd ever get to writing this story, but I am so glad that I did. I hope that you guys are glad that I did too!!


End file.
